Tag Archives: buenos aires

Pablo, Student, Buenos Aires, Argentina

photo by Kevin Truong

Pablo, in his own words: “The way I see it, being gay is just another part of my personality. I don´t follow a so-called “gay lifestyle” and I usually don´t like things gay people like. I´d like to think of me as a guy who likes guys.

Being gay in Argentina doesn´t mean hiding all the time. Gay marriage is legal here and being homosexual is not frowned upon, as it is in many other more “civilized” countries. It´s just OK to be gay. You won´t be rejected in a job interview for being openly gay, and cases of homophobia are quite uncommon. I don´t see any challenges or successes that I got from the sole act of being gay. I personally think that these challenges and successes are part of our everyday life, our social circle, our community and, most important, our attitude. We have to live with it. That´s all.

To be honest I haven´t come out yet. I know that my mother and my sister know something about my sexuality but we don´t talk about it. My father doesn´t know anything. I don’t know if he is blind or if he is just not accepting it. Anyways, I feel that I am stuck with this because I don´t want to hurt him.

(With regards to the gay community in Buenos Aires) I would say that it is very active. Buenos Aires is a big city, so there are parties almost every weekend. Being gay is accepted and normal.

(With regards to advice to my younger self)I would probably tell myself not to be afraid to come out. The sooner, the better.”

Mariano, Market Manager, Buenos Aires, Argentina

photo by Kevin Truong

Mariano, in his own words: “Puedo decir que ser gay es ser quien soy, ya que para mi la sexualidad atraviesa toda la vida de los individuos. Ser gay también es ser político, ya que la visibilización de mi orientación sexual es la mejor herramienta para cambiar la sociedad en la que vivo para que ésta sea mas plural, progresista, justa e igualitaria.

Creo que uno de los desafíos mas grande que tuve en mi vida fue darme cuenta que no podía cambiar mi orientación sexual y que entablar una relación con una mujer no iba a ayudar a borrar mi deseo por los hombres. Otro desafío también fue aceptar que puedo llegar a formar una familia con una persona de mi mismo sexo y ser feliz.

Tenía 18 años y hacía unos meses me había mudado a Buenos Aires desde el sur de Argentina, Santa Cruz. Toda mi infancia y adolescencia se desarrollo en una ciudad pequeña con “alma” de pueblo, cuya sociedad conservadora hacia del “que dirán” un evento social.

Vivir solo, tener nuevas experiencias, conocer otra gente y ser anónimo me ayudaron a descubrir quien realmente era. Un día conocí a un chico que me demostró que el amor entre hombres era posible. El tiempo paso y construimos una relación, pero por el contrario me sumergió a un mundo de mentiras y ocultamiento para con mis amigos y mi familia, el conocido “closet” o “armario”. Mi relación se circunscribía a las 4 paredes de mi casa, fuera de ella yo era un hombre heterosexual.

El tiempo paso, la relación se afianzo y de a poco empece a introducir a mi pareja en mis charlas con mi madre, era un “amigo” que cada día mas tenía mas protagonismo. Todas las historias y las aventuras nos tenía como protagonistas a ambos y de a poco mis señales despertaron la curiosidad y la pregunta del lado de mi madre: ¿A quien extrañas tanto? ¿Tomás es tu novio?. El tiempo se detuvo y el silencio fue eterno. De mi lado solo había lagrimas y tal vez el peso de la responsabilidad de tener una familia y ser hijo único.

Puedo decir que con mi madre pasamos muchas etapas: miles de preguntas, preguntas retóricas de su parte, culpas y llegamos de a poco llegamos a la aceptación plena.

Para concluir les dejo una frase que me dijo mi madre: “Uno como padre siempre intenta aliviar el sufrimiento de los hijos y lo que mas me duele es que, al vos tener una orientación sexual distinta a la de la mayoría, hay muchas situaciones en la sociedad que yo no voy a poder evitar.

La comunidad LGBT en Buenos Aires es ejemplificadora para Latino América y para el resto del mundo. En los últimos 10 años y gracias a la organización y la militancia de muchos y muchas que le pusieron el cuerpo a la lucha se consiguieron dos leyes fundamentales para nuestro colectivo: la Ley de Matrimonio Igualitario y la Ley de Identidad de Género. A su vez esta comunidad es diversa en su diversidad: existen como en toda sociedad quienes luchan por conseguir y reivindicar derechos y quienes tan solo los disfrutan. Lo bueno es que cada vez mas gente se une al primer grupo.”

In English:

“I can say that being gay is being who I am, because for my sex life spans my individual life. Being gay is also being political, as the visibility of my sexual orientation is the best tool to change the society in which I live for it to be more plural, progressive, just and egalitarian.

I think one of the biggest challenges I had in my life was realizing that I could not change my sexual orientation and that establishing a relationship with a woman would not help erase my desire for men. Another challenge was also to accept that I get to start a family with a same sex couple and be happy.

I was 18 and a few months I had moved out to Buenos Aires from a southern Argentina province, Santa Cruz. My entire childhood and adolescence was development in a small city with village “soul”, whose conservative society made news out of “gossip”.

Living alone, having new experiences, meet new people and being anonymous helped me discover who I really was. One day I met a guy who showed me that love between men was possible. Time passed and we built a relationship, but instead I plunged into a world of lies and concealment for my friends and my family, the famous “closet”. My relationship was limited to the four walls of my house, outside I was a heterosexual man.

Time passed, the relationship was strengthened and slowly I started to introduce my partner in my talks with my mother, he was a “friend” who every day got more prominence. All stories and adventures starring had us both and slowly my signs aroused curiosity and questions from my mother’s side: Who do you miss so much? Is Thomas your boyfriend ?. Time stopped and silence was eternal. From my side there were only tears and perhaps the weight of the responsibility of building a family and being an only child.

I can say that my mother passed many stages: thousands of questions, rhetorical questions, she blamed herself and slowly got to full acceptance.

In conclude I would like to repeat a phrase my mother told me: “Parents always try to avoid the suffering of their children and what really hurts me is that as you have a sexual orientation different from straights, there are many situations that I will not be able to avoid from society.

The LGBT community in Buenos Aires is exemplifying for Latin America and the rest of the world. In the last 10 years and thanked to the organization and advocacy of many and many who place their body to fight two fundamental laws for our movement were achieved: Equal Marriage and the Gender Identity Law. In turn, this community is diverse in its diversity: as in every society there are two groups: one who struggle for rights and the other that just enjoy them. The good news is that more and more people are joining the first group.”

Nacho and Alvarito, Buenos Aires, Argentina

Nacho (left) and Alvarito (right)photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Nacho, in his own words: “En realidad ser gay para mí, es ser lo que quiero ser. Tiene que ver con mi identidad. Creo que cada uno debe ser digno en lo que es y en lo que quiere ser. En ese punto es donde ser gay se transforma en un campo de lucha para mí. De activismo. De derechos.

Soy una persona que trabaja con la imagen. Cuando en nuestro país se sancionaba la Ley de Identidad de Género en el año 2012, me sentí con la necesidad de hacer algo, de aportar desde lo artístico mi granito de arena. Así surge un proyecto personal que titulé “Magnolias” (flor que simboliza la perseverancia y la dignidad) y que retrata a doce feminidades “trans”, dejando de lado los estereotipos y estigmas socialmente impuestos, y vinculándome desde el amor y el respeto. Poder dar a luz, transitar y finalizar este proyecto fue algo hermoso, que me permitió conocer personas maravillosas, y conectarme con mi lado más humano.

(Coming out) Al principio fue bastante difícil. Al pertenecer a una colectividad (japonesa) donde mucha gente se conoce entre sí, el gran problema para mis padres era el “¿qué van a pensar los demás?”. Tuve que lidiar con ese “karma” durante muchos años. No se habló más del tema. Preferí la invisibilización dentro de mi casa a enfrentarlos. Luego de un tiempo, decidí romper el silencio y dialogar. Y fue algo grandioso. Ahí me di cuenta lo importante que es perder el miedo y hablar las cosas.

La comunidad LGBTI en Argentina, es una comunidad luchadora. Que lucha por sus derechos, que sale a las calles, que se hace escuchar. Creo que si bien aún la discriminación está presente, en materia legal se avanzó muchísimo en los últimos años, gracias al activismo.

A mi yo más joven, le tengo mucho cariño. Creo que fue un luchador e hizo lo mejor que pudo, para que yo hoy esté aquí plantado a mis 34 años, con una ideología, y un espíritu de lucha y de derechos.”

In English:

“Actually, being gay to me, is to be what I wanna be. It has to do with my identity. I think everyone should be worth what it is he or she wants to be. This is the point at which being gay becomes a battlefield for me. Activism. Rights.

I am a person who works with the image. When the Gender Identity Law in 2012 was sanctioned in this country, I felt the need to do something, from the arts to contribute my grain of sand. So I did a personal project titled “Magnolias” (flower that symbolizes perseverance and dignity) and twelve portraying femininity “trans, leaving aside the stereotypes and socially imposed stigmas, and linking to me the love and respect that arises. To give birth, transit and end this project was something beautiful, which allowed me to meet wonderful people, and connect with my human side.

At first (coming out) was quite difficult. Belonging to a (Japanese) community where many people know each other, the big problem for my parents was “what will the others think?”. I dealt with that “karma” for many years. There was no talk anymore. I preferred to be invisible inside my house rather than to confront them. After a while, I decided to break the silence and talk. And it was something great. Then I realized how important it is to lose the fear and talk things out.

The LGBTI community in Argentina, is a struggling community. Fighting for their rights, which hits the streets, it is heard. I think that although discrimination is still present, in legal terms there is much progress in recent years, thanks to activism.

For my younger self, I have much affection. I think I was a fighter and did the best I could for myself to be here today planted at 34 years with an ideology and a spirit for struggle and rights.”

Alvarito, in his own words: “Being gay does not mean anything in particular to me other than being part of a social segment of people who experience sexual desires for someone of his/her same sex.

I do believe that being part to this group which is somehow always fighting for LGBT rights has allowed me to be in touch with wonderful values that have become part of who I am.

Becoming acquainted with different people, prejudice aside, has been both a great challenge and an accomplishment. These people have helped me to grow and to be become a better person. I am a good judge of character! I’m still in the search for news things so, there are plenty of challenges ahead of me.

When I was an innocent child I thought I would never share my secret but when I become a teenager I felt the urge to experience who I really was.

When I was eighteen, I wrote a letter to my parents telling them how I felt with the help of a cousin of mine with whom I had a great relationship. I left them the letter for my parents to discover when I went or holidays to my uncle’s house on the coast. When I returned from my holidays, my parents and I had a talk about my letter. Fortunately, They took the news very well and they have always been very supportive so far.

(The gay community in Buenos Aires) is a social sector which is brave and always struggling. Luckily, at this political moment in Argentina, the fruits of this fight are beginning to be born in spite of the generally Catholic sectors that have always opposed this struggle.

Anyway, even within the LGBT group there are diverse voices whom have opposite interests an times.

I believe the best advice someone could be give is that the most important thing in life is to work towards being in touch with oneself, with the essence of who one is. It is from here that any situation that may come up can be faced and dealt with. Honesty always pays. Being honest is the best way to live.”

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Tag Archives: buenos aires

Pablo, Student, Buenos Aires, Argentina

Mariano, Market Manager, Buenos Aires, Argentina

Nacho and Alvarito, Buenos Aires, Argentina