When I was thirteen, I discovered that I might be gay. At first I became really worried about that and tried to deny the possibility. At that time, I was living abroad and had no friends. So I decided to keep myself quiet and save this secret with me. When I came back to Brazil, I was enrolled in a military high school. By then I already knew that I was gay, but to blend – to be accepted and to preserve my “identity” – I started following and adopting straight customs. In this struggling environment, I joined my school’s glee club. It represented for me a place where I could strip off that behavior designed to fit in, and started being myself. There I met a girl who became my best friend. For the first time, with her, I opened myself and shared my secret about my sexuality. Her reception was the best I could expect, and I started feeling lighter from that day on. A few months later, I decided to talk about things with my parents. I was expecting a violent reception, perhaps even being kicked out of my home. To my surprise, I was accepted and embraced. At the beginning, they sent me to a neurologist, because they believed that I was mentally ill and that homosexuality was a disease. For one year, I had psychological counseling. Over time we discovered together that I’ve always been gay and that homosexuality is not a disease and nothing has changed in my behavior since I came out. Actually, I’ve became happier and more buoyant. Nowadays, my parents treat me with the same respect that they treat my two sisters that are straight. In our family we can speak openly about any subject now.

I was a very sensitive and creative kid, but during my oppressive and repressive adolescence, I left my creative side behind. After I came out, I started not to care anymore about the opinions of others about my choices. Like, I didn’t care if they thought choosing an artistic career could look like a ‘gay’ thing. So I started to chase my dreams. For two years, I studied Architecture and Urbanism at university, but I found my true calling and personal fulfillment in the visual and fine arts. I’ve discovered myself as a painter, and studied Art History during an exchange year at the University of Florence in Italy. I continually expose my art all over the world (and online using my website, www.octaviorold.com). In the beginning, I was afraid that my sexuality could impact on my audience; perhaps people would decide not to go to my exhibitions just because I’m gay. But I have found that art touches people, and our deepest essence as human beings doesn’t have prejudice.

Despite being comfortable with my sexuality, I’m generally not into dance clubs. I know that there is a really good gay environment in Brasilia and it has a lot of good options for those that want to have some fun. I think that Brasilia is a gay-friendly city, and I’ve never suffered explicit homophobic aggression in the form of verbal or physical abuse.

O primeiro desafio era sair de de casa. Como sair de casa, menor de idade e sem dinheiro? Não tive muitas opções, a alternativa foi estudar e ir morar fora devido ao ingresso no ensino superior. Acho que esse é a primeira vitória. Não escolhi o conforto e o comodismo de casa, escolhi ser independente, pagando o preço que for. Entrei no curso de Serviço Social, e isso é algo que transformou minha vida. Iniciei um processo teórico de discussão sobre política, sociedade, Estado, e que consequentemente irá perpassar por família, conservadorismo, gênero, movimentos sociais e minorias. Durante a graduação em Serviço Social ocorrem dois fatos muito importantes e que mudam minha vida. Primeiro é me aceitar e contar para minha família sobre ser gay, e segundo é começar um namoro que durou seis anos, e confesso, foram bons seis anos, apesar do término. No Serviço Social tive a nítida certeza que pertencia ao grupo de estudantes certo, e sabia que somente através do trabalho eu iria ter a liberdade tal almejada. No ano seguinte após o término do curso de graduação fui aprovado em um concurso público federal, fui trabalhar interior do centro-oeste brasileiro com comunidades de agricultura familiar e indígenas. Ser gay assumido em uma pequena cidade não é fácil, mas confesso, com o namorado assumindo isso, ficou muito mais fácil, tanto para mim quanto para ele, e ressalto, nunca passamos por problema algum quanto a isso. Em 2013 já solteiro sou transferido para Brasília, coloco isso como uma grande conquista no campo profissional, de fato, ser gay não teve implicações, como disse, é só uma característica, assim como minha cor. Nesse mesmo ano me torno coordenador de um curso de graduação em Serviço Social em uma instituição de ensino superior de Brasília, de origem neopentecostal, ou seja, ou fato de eu ser assumidamente gay, não é um problema para assumir cargo e executar meu trabalho, porém, concordo que é um grande avanço na instituição onde atuo. Em 2014 entro no Programa de Pós Graduação em Política Social da Universidade de Brasília no Distrito Federal, e esse é outro ponto que marca uma conquista importante, o ingresso em uma universidade pública e em um programa de estudos reconhecidos internacionalmente. Mais uma vez, minha discussão não entra no campo do gênero, prefiro discutir os movimentos sociais na era da internet, mas tendo ter o mínimo de acompanhamento do que anda ocorrendo nessas temáticas. Em 2014 ainda assumo a gestão do Conselho Regional de Serviço Social do Distrito Federal. E isso marca um posicionamento e a participação em um grupo crítico que trabalha na defesa dos direitos humanos, o que inclui as questões LGBT. Entendo que apesar dos meus 28 anos, já consegui muita coisa, mas o caminhada não para. Não quero o acúmulo, quero o suficiente para uma vida legal, com qualidade e com alegria quero somente ser feliz, e isso inclui a vida mental, sentimental, profissional e familiar. Continuo atrás da felicidade, e de novos desafios, sei que posso ser melhor sempre!

Eu tinha 18 anos de idade. Tinha saído de casa para estudar Serviço Social na Universidade de Passo Fundo no Rio Grande do Sul. Minha família foi me visitar, e minha irmã acabou mexendo no meu celular por curiosidade do aparelho mesmo. Enfim, viu algumas mensagens. Contei para a família que gostava de pessoas do mesmo sexo, e que não iria mudar, que não era uma questão de escolha, eu era assim e pronto. Aos 18 anos decidi que deveria ser feliz, independente da família ou de qualquer pessoa. O primeiro dia, foi horrível, mas também foi a certeza que não tinha mais que esconder nada, chorei muito, pensei que dali para frente, seria eu comigo mesmo, seria a vida longe de casa, sem ter para onde voltar. No dia seguinte, minha irmã e minha mãe me pediram desculpas, e disseram que tinha algo mais importante, que era o amor entre nós, isso foi crucial para eu entender o significava família. Dias depois recebi ligações de vários familiares para me dar apoio e dizer que nada mudava, e o que importava era eu estar bem e feliz. Foi a certeza que eu tive que poderia contar com todos. A sexualidade e a orientação sexual passaram a ser algo cotidiano dentro da minha família, sem discussões relevantes. Depois e mim, vieram outros, e hoje somos m três gays, três primos homens, e confesso que isso ajuda muito. Somos mais que primos, somos amigos todos podemos contar com uma família que nos apóia e que torce por nós. Hoje, se deixar, qualquer tia minha, me arruma um namorado, tenho que cuidar kkkkk.

Brasília é diferente em todos os sentidos, tanto para os gays quanto para os não gays. Brasília é uma cidade moderna, com boa infra-estrutura, e que atende o público gay de todas as tribos. Nunca presenciei nem um ato homofóbico em Brasília, mas é claro que isso também existe, afinal o conservadorismo esta no mundo todo. Mas Brasília vale a pena. Minha escolha por viver em Brasília deve-se muito ao fato da receptividade ao público gay, a aceitação e as possibilidades que temos aqui de andar mais livremente e expressarmos de fato o que somos. Acredito na liberdade, na livre expressão. Não sou um adepto de beijos e carícias ao ar livre, mas também não os nego e não os condeno, expressar algo de bom quando temos vontade é sempre a melhor coisa, por isso digo que é bom viver o amor, os passageiros ou os duradouros em Brasília,

The first challenge was leaving home. Like leaving home, being a minor and having no money. I did not have many options, the alternative was to study and go live out to enter higher education. I think this is the first victory. I did not choose the comfort and the home of indulgence, I chose to be independent, paying the price for that. I entered the course of Social Services, and this is something that changed my life. I started a process of theoretical discussion about politics, society, state, that consequently will pervade each family, conservatism, gender, social movements and minorities. During my graduation in Social Work occurred two very important facts changing my life. First was me telling my family about being gay, and second was to get a courtship that lasted six years, and I confess, they were a good six years, despite the end. Social Work had a distinction that belonged to a group of certain students, and I knew that only through this work I would be free as desired. The following year, after the undergraduate program was approved in a federal public contest, I went to work inside central-western Brazil with family and indigenous farming communities. Being openly gay in a small town is not easy, but I confess, with my boyfriend assuming this, it became much easier, both for me and for him, to shoulder upon, and we never went through any problem with that. In 2013 already I was single and transferred to Brasilia, I put it as a great achievement in my professional field, in fact, being gay had no implications, as I said, it’s just a characteristic, as well as my color. That same year I become coordinator of an undergraduate degree in Social Work at a higher education institution in Brasilia, of Pentecostal origin, that is, that I am openly gay, is not a problem to take charge and do my work, however, I agree that is a major advance in the institution where I work. In 2014 I entered the Graduate Program in Social Policy at the University of Brasilia in the Federal District, and this is another point which marks an important achievement, enrollment at a public university and a program of internationally recognized studies. Again, my discussion does not go on gender issues, I’d rather discuss the social movements of the Internet age, but having to have the minimum follow-up of walking occurring in these themes. In 2014 I am still assuming the management of the Regional Council of Social Service of the Federal District. And that brand positioning and participation in a critical group working to defend human rights, including LGBT issues. I understand that despite my 28 years, I have gone through a lot, but not to walk. I do not want to accumulate, want enough for a legal life, with quality and with joy I only want to be happy, and that includes mental, emotional, professional and family life. I continue after happiness, and new challenges, I know I can always be better!

(With regards to coming out) I was 18 years old. I had left home to study Social Work at the University of Passo Fundo in Rio Grande do Sul. My family came to visit me, and my sister working on my mobile device, saw some messages. I told the family that I liked persons of the same sex, and that would not change, it was not a matter of choice, and I was ready. At 18 I decided I should be happy, regardless of family or anyone. The first day was horrible, but I no longer had to hide anything, I cried a lot, I thought that from then on, I would be myself, life would be away from home, without being able to return. The next day, my sister and my mother asked me excuses, and said they had something more important, it was the love between us, it was crucial for me to understand the meaning of family. Days later I received calls from several family to support me and say that nothing changed, and what mattered was I be well and happy. I was sure that I had all I could count on. Sexuality and sexual orientation became an everyday thing in my family, without relevant discussions. After me came others, and today we are three gays, three cousins, men, and I confess that it helps a lot. We are more than cousins, we’re friends and can all have a family that supports us and roots for us. Today, if you leave any of my aunts, get me a boyfriend, I have to take care kkkkk.