Xavier, Editor-in-Chief/Journalist, Paris, France

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Xavier, in his own words: “Si je n’avais pas été gay, j’aurais été un homme blanc hétérosexuel. Faire partie d’une minorité m’a donné la possibilité de voir le monde du côté de ceux qui n’ont pas forcément le pouvoir, de ceux qu’on essaie de tenir à l’écart et de ceux qui doivent apprendre à être fiers d’eux-mêmes. C’est une chance inestimable.

Contrairement à certains, je crois énormément à l’idée de communauté. Mieux: je suis heureux d’en faire partie. Ceux qui ne croient pas à cette idée ou qui la rejettent n’ont qu’à étudier l’histoire du sida, pour ne citer cet exemple là. Ils verront ce qu’une communauté peut accomplir.

Mon coming-out familial s’est déroulé on ne peut mieux. Il a même permis de libérer la parole entre parents et enfants et entres frères et sœurs. Dans ma vie de tous les jours, j’expérimente le coming-out permanent. En tant que journaliste dans un media gay, je sors du placard à chaque fois qu’on me demande mon métier. Le plus dur aura finalement été de le dire à ma grand-mère, une vieille paysanne charentaise. Il m’a fallu 10 ans pour arriver à en parler, alors que je suis out auprès de la terre entière. Tout le monde me déconseillait de le faire, assurant qu’elle ne comprendrait pas, qu’elle était trop âgée et qu’il ne fallait pas l’embêter avec ça. Tout le monde se trompait. Elle a réagi de la plus belle des manières: avec amour.

Je vis à Paris depuis 14 ans et la vie gay y est d’une grande richesse. J’aime l’idée d’avoir un quartier gay dans une ville. Hélas force est de constater que le Marais est de plus en plus envahi par les touristes et les prix délirants de l’immobilier font qu’il devient très dur désormais d’avoir de nouveaux établissements. Au delà de l’aspect urbain, c’est le tissu associatif LGBT qui est très riche à Paris. Il y a des dizaines d’associations, à peu près dans tous les domaines. Comme beaucoup de parisiens, je suis souvent tenté de quitter Paris pour aller vivre dans un environnement moins stressant. Il y a une vie gay dans d’autres villes en France, mais aucune d’aussi vivace. Et ça me me manquerait.

Si j’avais une chose à dire à une version plus jeune de moi-même: “TU ES GAY, IDIOTE!”. J’ai compris que j’étais gay à 17 ans. J’aurais aimé le comprendre avant, histoire de ne pas avoir à gâcher une partie de mon adolescence à essayer d’être quelque chose que je ne suis pas. Mais cela m’a aussi permis d’être celui que je suis aujourd’hui, donc tout est bien.”

In English:

“Had I not been gay, I would have been a straight white western male. Being gay gave me the opportunity to see the world through the eyes of a minority, to feel what it’s like to be on the side of those who don’t have the power, of those who are marginalized and who have had to learn how to stand tall and proud. That is an amazing gift.

The concept of “community” always raises eyebrows in France, because we are supposed to be “universalists” (it should be “all are equal” but for most people it’s “all should be alike – straight that is). I am proud to be a part of the LGBT community. For those who don’t believe in the idea of a community, just look at the way we responded to the AIDS epidemic. You’ll see what a community can do.

Coming-out to my parents was wonderful. We have had trouble talking to each other in the family for a couple of years. It started a conversation. It’s always useful to be honest with the ones you love. In my everyday life, I have to come out every time someone asks me what my job is (I’m a journalist in a LBGT media, yagg.com. It reminds me that coming out and being proud of who you are is an ongoing process.

I’ve been living in Paris for 14 years. The LGBT community is strong here. We have a gay neighboordhood, the world famous “Marais”. But these days, it’s getting more and more packed with tourists and the rampant gentrification is turning it slowly but surely into a giant designer clothes store. As if we didn’t have enough designer clothes stores already… We have dozens of LGBT groups, from sports groups to activists groups not to mention health groups. I belong to a LGBT tennis group, member of the Gay and lesbian tennis alliance. We get to meet and play with LGBT folks all around the world. It’s like a global family. I sometimes think of moving to another sunnier, less hectic city. But I definitely would miss the gay life.

If a had anything to tell to my younger self, that would be: “YOU ARE GAY, STOOPID!”. I realized I was gay at 17. I wish I got that earlier, so that I wouldn’t have wasted my time trying to be heterosexual in high school. Anyway, that’s a part of me and it made me the person I am today, so all is well!”

Goodbye, to my friend Ian.

My friend Ian passed away last night after after battling with cancer. I first met him in London three years ago while photographing him for the Gay Men Project, and he has been one of my strongest supporters ever since. Thanks Ian, for everything, I wanted to share your story one last time. Lots of love to you, my friend, and I’ll do the best with everything I can 😉

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Ian, in his own words:“Maybe I was lucky but I don’t really remember there being any big deal about coming out. I was about 15 or 16 and pretty confident about stuff, I had always known I was gay and I was never any good at hiding things. I started subscribing to gay news in about 1977 (when I was 15) and this used to arrive in a brown paper envelope. I was also obsessed with gay literature and on my bookshelves there was Edmund White’s, a boy’s own story, Gore Vidal’s, city and the pillar and James Baldwin’s, Giovanni’s room to name but a few – so it was pretty obvious to anyone who cared to look and my poor mum cleaned my room in those days!!!. It was the time of punk and I was a little obsessed with the Tom Robinson Band and in 1977 or 78 they had a rising free EP out which included the song “glad to be gay”. I remember buying this in the local WH Smith (it reached nos 18 in the UK charts) and playing on repeat for hours. So I don’t think anyone in my house had any doubts!!! I recall a conversation with my mum in the kitchen of our house in Newport Gwent when I was about 16 – I guess you can call this my coming out moment but my mum told me she already knew. I think I was a bit disappointed as I was hoping for a bit of a reaction (I liked to court reaction in those days!).

I never actually had “the” conversation with my dad it was just sort of presumed really. I vaguely remember my sister being a bit upset when I told her but she was upset because I had not told her before!

So all in all pretty straightforward and not really an issue or big deal. Mind you looking back I’m amazed at how brazen I was from such a young age!!!”

Destin, Fashion Designer, Phnom Penh, Cambodia

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Photo by Kevin Truong

Photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Photo by Kevin Truong

Photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

“(The gay community in Phnom Penh) is secret. But it is much better now because of social networks. Some (gay men) feel not so sure, but it’s much better than before. But it is still secret because they are afraid of parents or family.

(I knew I was gay) a long time. In my social life, for about ten years. For me, I feel I am ok. I’m 50/50. 50/50 means I don’t care about people talking about I’m gay or whatever, I know myself and whatever I like is whatever I want. But I don’t show off to my parents as well.

For me, I don’t require much. I like people who I like. The best things that I like are appearance or characteristics, morality as well, I don’t want to be with gangsters, it is not my type. Simple for me and easy going (is best).

(With regards to successes) I think my tailor business is going well because it is the fifth year. And now I have another business, it is a gay friendly coffee gallery. It is a new flavor in town, Strange Fruit, it is just opening but I hope it is going to be more and more successful.

(Advice to my younger self) Be good, be happy.”