On one hand, yes, being gay means that you are a part of a smaller group in today’s society and therefore it’d be naive to believe that people would treat you like they treat everyone else. Humans tend to respond to everything that is “different” in a very peculiar way (aggressive and negative at most times, unfortunately). But, on the other hand, I couldn’t think of a better time to “be gay” (if that makes sense). We’re not coming out as a group, we are out already. And we have a lot of respect from a lot of people, exactly because they recognize what a battle we had to go through to stand where we are. If we still have a lot to “conquer” in terms of respect, understanding and civil rights? Hell yeah. I speak as a Brazilian gay who comes from a very open minded family. But I know it’s a completely different story in other places, even in my country. But then I’m just being as positive as I can: I’m looking to the glass and I’m thinking it is half full, and not half empty. It will take ages for society to make it a full glass and for everyone to truly accept that not every man desires a woman, but I remember when my generation (at least in Brasil) came out when we were teenagers and what a nightmare that was generally. I have friends that really went through a living hell in their parents’ houses. And I’m not saying that nowadays is an easy thing to do, but we progressed so, so much. 10-15 years ago it was a completely different story.

In terms of challenges, I’m happy to say that the only big “problem” I had for being gay was the fact that I was quite bullied at school. And what an irony: I didn’t even know that I was gay. Kids can be horrible… But a lot of children go through bullying and of course it’s not always because they’re gay. So maybe I would have suffered from this situation anyway, even If I wasn’t a homossexual. I like to believe that I did quite well for someone who really had a disgusting experience at school for such a long period of time (I remember being called nasty things even after high school). I tend to be a bit aggressive, which is a negative aspect of my personality, but it’s how I managed to “survive” and it must be said that this fierceness has helped me so much in so many fields of my life. So no, I wouldn’t change any of the things I went through as a little boy. The cliche is true: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? I know people that are still dealing with these demons from their childhoods, but I think I already overcame this in a healthy way: I don’t hate people, children, men, society, etc etc. I am very aware of the cruelty that exists in the world, but this perception has only made me more sensitive to the ones that are outcasts in society. I’d say that’s my real success in terms of being gay: the awareness and sensibility towards the others

The gay community in São Paulo is quite diverse at the moment. I think there’s a little treat for everyone… Of course there’s the typical “gay scene” that kinda looks like “Queer as Folk”, but then there’s the hipster scenario, the fancy gays, etc etc. We do have the biggest Gay Parade in the world, but I don’t think most of us are what you would expect from a militant, you know? The parade is just one big crazy day for everyone really… Our community is very Grindr/Tinder-driven at the moment, but very hypocritical when it comes to being open about promiscuous sex. Maybe it is a brazilian thing… we have naked people in tv adverts, soap operas, etc, but we’re still a very conservative country somehow. I lived in London for 3 years and I remember being surprised with the way gay man would live their sexual lives. Even in the clubbing scene: it is ok for a man to go to a kinky club in Europe. Here in Brasil it’s something you probably wouldn’t do or wouldn’t share, even with some of your closest friends. It’s seems silly to me…

Coming out wasn’t a big thing for me. I mean: it did take me ages to do so. I was 19 when I first told a dear friend of mine, who was out already. But once I did it, I just felt free (I guess that’s what most gay man experience, right?) and ended up telling everyone one, including my family and they were quite supportive I’d say. I had never kissed anyone before that (not even a girl), so I guess the biggest problem I had wasn’t being gay, but being a complete weirdo in that sense. Obviously coming out opened doors and possibilities and it didn’t take a lot of time for me to eventually snog someone. Yes, it was a man I think that if I had not gone through bullying at school, coming out could have happened earlier… but who knows??? Maybe the fact that kids used to call me “gay” helped me realise that they were right after all… those bitches… lol…

In my life I’ve had many challenges. Primarily, coming from a very low income home. I had to learn how to survive at a very young age. I had to also overcome school issues. I was very shy in primary school. I refuse to do work and got a warning that if I didn’t start showing improvement, I would be transferred to “special” classes. Obviously I changed and began to preform a lot better because I knew I had no problems learning. I had to step it up and with a lot of help, I am now on my way to my 3’rd year in college and I also have a very good job. That’s what happens when you never give up.

The gay community in Little Rock is very interesting. We don’t have a big openly gay cast but most of the locals for the most part support us. We normally have no problems in public other than a couple of occasional “Sighs” and “frowns”. But nothing too drastic. For the most part, we don’t have that much drama. We all know and love each other. We’re pretty much one big happy family.

I came out of the closet April 30, 2013. I had a boyfriend at the time and we decided it was too hard to hold a relationship and be in the closet at the same time. But if we came out, we had to come out with a bang. That day we took a photo us kissing each other and posted it on Facebook. After 24 hours it received 1.1K likes and over 350 comments. We were overwhelmed of how many people saw us and heard about us. News spread all over Little Rock. We would go to parties and people we didn’t even knew would run up to us asking us questions and says they were big fans. But, we knew the news would spread to our families. I returned home that summer expecting a lot of disappointment. I walked in the door and my mom was smiling. Her exact words were. “So when will I get to meet my soon to be step son”. I was in tears. My mom accepted me being gay. I was so afraid that she would be upset at me. It turns out that all of my family accepted me as well. It was a huge sign of relief.

Everyday is challenge for me. I truly believe that being openly gay in Brazil is still a challenge and thats why after living abroad I choose to be here. I feel like there’s a lot to be done for the Brazilian gay community.

(The gay community in Rio De Janeiro) is the same as anywhere else in Brazil, lol.

(Coming out of the closet) was easy and disturbing at the same time. Easy because after you do it you keep thinking: why was I there in the first place? Disturbing because you realize how scared people can get from it. To find myself in such a hateful world was really confusing.