One of my biggest challenges in being gay is trying to fit in to what the society (mostly my parents) want me to be. Over the years, my parents have grown to understand who I am in regards to my sexual identity, so I am very proud of them. Trying to fit in to a hetero-normative society is not a simple feat for anyone that is not heterosexual. Myself being a gay black male, I have had many troubles trying to be accepted. Now that I am completely out, I have a very supporting family and group of friends.

Speaking of coming out, that would be one of my greatest accomplishments in regards to being gay. I remember the person I ever “came out” to, and I didn’t officially come out to him. My pre-calculus teacher during my sophomore year of high school helped me figure out what it means to be gay and different and how to turn my struggles into compliments. He himself is gay as well, and to this day, we are great friends. He has helped me tremendously with my sexual identity. Whenever I have a question about anything that has to do with the gay world, the first person I contact is always him. I later decided to come out to my brother and parents, and in January 2014, I took a big leap of faith and came out on Facebook. Once I did that, I felt like I was free. It was completely liberating to do that, and the positive feedback from my friends and family made it all worthwhile.

I would conclude that my coming out story is one of the happier ones. I have heard some horrific ones in my years, and yes, it is very heartbreaking to hear some of them. It is unfortunate that not everyone can have a good coming out story, but the struggles that we go through help shape us into better individuals, so in concept, having a not-so-good coming out story teaches you more valuable lessons in a sense.

The gay community is Philadelphia is, for the most part, very welcoming and friendly. The place for the average gay Joe to hang out with fellow LGTB people would be the “gayborhood”. It is located in center city, and personally I call it one of my many homes. I have had so many fond memories there, and the bars and clubs there are great as well. I definitely recommend living in Philadelphia if you are looking for a safe place to live. However, just make sure the area your living in is gay-friendly because there are some places in Philadelphia that are not as friendly as center city.

Lots of people don’t know much about being gay and there are haters that strongly disagree about legalized same-sex relationships, but whether they know it or not true love begins with a feeling of the heart to another heart and doesn’t begin with sex to the other sex.

The challenge of my life as being gay was when I was 7 years old, and realizing I was a man who loved men, my struggling is how to love myself, trying to accept my sexual orientation because I live in a religious family environment, and when I was student in elementary school, I heard a phrase that “God loved His people,” since then I believe that God also loved me because I was created as a gay child.

I have a very unique story when I came out to my mom, when I was 20, I made a picture and I wrote the word in that picture “I’m sorry mom, I’m gay,” and I shared these images on my account on Facebook, and then my mom saw it. My mom left a comment on the picture and she said, “I’m feeling sad right now, maybe God has punished me for the sins I’ve done.” But I convinced my mom that no one is to blame on this case, “I said this is given from God.” And I’m very lucky because until now our relationship is very good and we became much closer, my mom just told me please be a good gay, and I’ll never forget the moment of that and I still keep the picture on my Facebook.

I was born and raised in Cianjur, West Java, which is a village and very homey. I had to walk about 20 minutes when I went to school, there is a conservative culture, so I only knew a little bit about the gay lifestyle. I tried to find information about being gay via social media, and at the end when I was 15 I began to knew about Top and Bottom terms, and after I finished my studies in high school when I was 17, I moved to the city of Jakarta, and here I knew what is the meaning of life, I can meet with many people who like me, in the city there are a lot of places for the gay community to gather like gay organizations, bars, parks, cafes, malls etc. Jakarta gives me with a lot of friends who helped me become a confident and modern gay.