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Julian, Sociologist, Lima, Peru

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin TRuong

photo by Kevin TRuong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Julian, in his own words: “Ser gay significa para mi tener la convicción de que cada uno es libre de amar y querer a una persona de su mismo sexo. Decir que soy gay es un reto a las posibilidades de amor que la sociedad impone.

Aceptar mi sexualidad ha sido uno de los más grandes retos que he tenido. Antes era horrible como mi mente trabajaba en que cosas decir y que hacía o que no para que la gente no lo note. Era agotador y siempre me sentía intranquilo. En mi hogar me veían molesto siempre y no sabían por qué y yo tampoco sentía que podía decirlo. Luego de aceptar quien soy todo comenzó a mejorar y ahora siento que las relaciones que tengo con los demás son más honestas que antes.

La comunidad gay en Lima es aún pequeña, no hay mucha visibilidad pero creo que se están abriendo grandes oportunidades y avances que la gente está consiguiendo. Creo que de aca a unos años seremos más fuertes y con capacidad de presión para generar políticas públicas hacia la población y una sociedad sin discriminación.

Yo sabía que me gustaban los hombres desde pequeño y en secundaria comenzaron a sospechar pero la reacción de ellos no fue nada bueno así que lo negué. Fue recién en el verano del 2009 gracias al apoyo de mis amigos que les dije que era, fue todo un proceso y sigue siendo. Mi madre hace unos meses me dijo “lo único que quiero es que seas feliz”, ella tiene miedo de cómo la gente me pueda tratar en el futuro, por eso también es que decidí luchar por mis derechos, para demostrarle que su deseo y el mío son posibles.

Le diría que ser gay no es el fin del mundo, que nadie me va a castigar, es un camino duro pero aceptarse es lo mejor que te puede pasar y que hay gente que te seguirá queriendo incluso aún más por ser honesto contigo mismo.”

In English:

Being gay means to me to have the conviction that everyone is free to love and love a person of the same sex. To say that I’m gay is a challenge to the possibilities of love that society imposes.

Accepting my sexuality has been one of the biggest challenges I’ve ever had. Before it was horrible as my mind worked about how to say things or act for people not to notice my sexuality. It was exhausting and I always felt uneasy. At home I always looked annoyed and people did not know why and I felt that I could not say what was happening. After accepting who I am everything started to improve and now I feel that I have more honest relationships with others than before.

The gay community in Lima is still small, there is not much visibility but I think they are opening great opportunities and developments for people to receive. I think from here in a few years we will be stronger and able to pressure to generate public policies towards the population and have a society without discrimination.

I knew I liked men since childhood but my parents began to suspect when I was 16 but their reaction was not good so I refused to accept my sexual orientation. It was not until the summer of 2009 thanks to the support of my friends that I told to my parents, it was a process and remains so. My mother a few months ago said “all I want is your happiness” she is afraid of how people can treat me in the future, so I also decided to fight for my rights, to demonstrate her desires and mine are possible.

(To my younger self) I would say that being gay is not the end of the world, no one is going to punish you, it’s a hard road but accepting it is the best that can happen and there are people who still love you even more for being honest with yourself.”

Jun, Make-up Artist, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Jun, in his own words: “Tôi không hỗ thẹn mình là gay, ngược lại tôi hạnh phúc khi nói rằng trời vẫn sinh chúng tôi ra để thế giới muôn màu hơn, vì nhiều lãnh vựt chúng tôi làm được nhưng chưa chắc các bạn làm được và các bạn làm được chúng ta cũng đã có người thành công.
Tôi sống thật với chính bản thân tôi, không vì 1 lý do nào đó để lừa dối tình cảm 1 người con gái, đó là điều tốt chưa chắc 1 số đàn ông làm được…. ^^

Thử thách lớn nhất là tôi phải đối mặt với ba mẹ khi công nhận tôi là gay lúc đó tôi 20t, chỉ biết diễn đạt bằng những lời mình cảm thấy là thuyết phục nhất..
—–“con xin lổi ba mẹ, không không lấy vợ và sinh cháu cho ba mẹ được đơn giản con không muốn tổn thương 1 người con gái nào đó, không đem lại hạnh phúc cho người ta thì đừng cố gắng bên nhau. con đặt trường hợp xấu nhất là cô không chịu được cú shock và chết vì biết chồng mình là gay, thì ai là người gieo mầm tội lỗi đó?”
Mẹ tôi khóc, ba tôi không nói câu gì vì giận. 1 thời gian dài 2 cha con nhiều tranh cãi và ông ấy đã nói câu tôi không bao giờ quên : “tôi sinh ra mày được thì tôi giết mày được”
Tôi hận bản thân mình và càng chứng minh rằng tôi như bao thằng con trai khác,, thể thao, học tập, cuộc sống hằng ngày ….. rất bình thường. vài năm sau tôi nhẹ cả người khi nghe câu nói đùa của mẹ : “con gái không kêu bạn giới thiệu thằng tây nào cho con đi” ^^
tôi không thuộc tuýp người năng động và chinh phục thế giới nên tôi chẳng có thành tựu lớn nào, chỉ biết đừng làm mẹ thêm buồn… ^^

cũng là lúc tôi cho ba mẹ và mọi người xung phải là 1 chứng bệnh là 1 thứ chạy theo hiện đại hay chỉ là 1 trò chơi như mọi người nghĩ. chúng tôi cũng có trái tim cũng yêu bằng chính trái tim đó như bao người. hiện tôi có 1 bạn trai đã quên nhau được 6 năm tuy chúng tôi không chung sống bên nhau được, tôi rất buồn vì điều đó nhưng biết như thế nào hơn khi số phận đã ngăn cách ta giữa 2 bờ đại dương. mọ

gia đình chúng tôi không phản đối nên càng cho chúng tôi động lực để chứng minh cho mọi người rằng gay không có gì là sai trái cả. càng tạo niềm tin về 1 ngày nào đó rằng chúng tôi sẽ vượt qua số phận mà được sống bên nhau

Tôi nghĩ cũng như cộng đồng Mỹ, ngày phát triển và được nhiều người chấp nhận và đồng cảm hơn. nhưng chưa thật sự có những hoạt động tô điểm cho cộng đồng.
Nhà nước VN cũng đã thảo luật về việc cho gay kết hôn.”

In English:

I am not ashamed to be a Gay, in the contrary I am very happy to say that God has given me a life in this world with a different aspect of this colorful universe. Because on many levels with regards to talents, we can do better than others, and some (gay men) are very successful.

I live for myself, there is no reason to fake my emotions to a girl, which is a good thing since others may do something like that.

The big challenge to me was when I had to come face to face with my parents to declare that I am gay, I was 20 years old. I tried to use simple words to convince them “Please forgive me, I am sorry, I can’t marry a girl, I can’t give you grand children. Simply, that I don’t want to hurt that girl, if I can’t bring happiness to her, then I should not live with her. I give you one example: it would be worse for her to find out that I am gay, it would be a shock which could lead to her dying, then who should we blame for causing such a tragedy?”

My mother cried, my father was silent because he was angry. It was a long time since my father and I always argued and quarreled, and he said to me one sentence that I have not forgotten, “I gave birth to you, and I can kill you, too”.

I felt sorry, and tried to prove that I am just like other boys: exercise, study hard, and live a normal life. A few years later, I felt relief to hear one of my mother’s jokes, “My girl, why don’t you call your friend to introduce you to a Western boy.”

I am not the type of person to conquer the world that’s why I don’t have any big success, but I only know how to make my mother less sorrowful.

It’s time for me to let my parents and others surrounding me know that it’s not a disease, or chasing a new style, or playing a game as people thought. We have a heart to love just like everyone else. At this present time, I have a boyfriend, we know each other for six years. Although, we can’t live together. I am sad about that, but what can I do when destiny has separated us between the two big oceans.

Our families do not object, so it’s our motive to demonstrate to every one that being gay is nothing wrong. It’s our hope that someday we can overcome our destiny and live together side by side.

I think that the community in the USA has more progress and many more people have been accepted and sympathetic than in Vietnam, in which there has not been much activities to contribute to our community. Although, Vietnamese government is discussing allowing us to get marriage.”

Philip, Writer, Cleveland, Ohio

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong


Phillip, in his own words: “What I like about being gay is having met thousands of men from all over whom otherwise I never would have met. Gay gives you carte blanche to meet men of different backgrounds. And from this huge variety of men I have built up a great tolerance for individuality, quirks and all. It’s not always easy being gay, no life style is. I’ve found that a sense of humor has saved me, got through terrible times. And since I’m a writer, I’ve David Sedaris-like humor essays to spread the word that funny is saintly.

Also my garden. I’ve had two clinical depressions and a return to my garden every spring has brought me out of those dark times. The darkest time was in the early 80s when AIDS rose its ugly head, and I heard of my friends in the coastal cities dying left and right. So I pulled up my zipper and didn’t have sex for over l0 years—actually I lost count. I was terrified of that disease. Sex was not worth dying for.

Cleveland is great town to raise a family. It’s not so good for gays. The smart, creative ones leave. It seems all I get are married men. So for the dark cold winter months I go to Fort Lauderdale, a paradise for gay men. Men from all over the world descend on Fort Lauderdale for the winter months, and I’ve made life-long friends who come to visit me in Cleveland in the summer in my gorgeous garden. Visit the video of my garden onYouTube.To read more about me go to my Profile on the Silver Daddies site and enter my profile number #398760.”