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Tom, DJ and Community Activist, San Francisco

photo by Kevin Truong

Tom, in his own words: “(Being gay has) been a gift for me! My worldview and creative output are so shaped by my being queer and i’m pretty proud of both. The people i’ve met, the places i’ve gone, the things i’ve accomplished, so many of those things wouldn’t have happened if I weren’t queer and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

(With regards to challenges) Aside from occasionally having ‘faggot’ shouted at me on the street and a few tumultuous teenage years (I haven’t had) too many to speak of. I’m sure that there have been more subtle challenges but my life as a gay men has been largely without incident and I’m very thankful and lucky to be able to say that.

(The gay scene in San Francisco is) pretty spectacular. When I first moved here I felt like looking at the queer scene was like standing on the edge of the ocean — It was so vast and had far too much depth to ever understand. Having been here for eight years now it certainly doesn’t appear as vast as it once does but its still very impressive. It’s amazing living in a city where there’s such a diversity of experiences and interests that there isn’t a ‘gay scene’ to speak of but rather communities within that that congregate around other interests and just happen to be queer.

(With regards to coming out) I’ve been out for 11 years now, and it’s been mostly uphill since that moment. I met my first other gay boy my age when I was a sophomore in High School, fell in love with him, had my heart ripped out, told everyone it was happening because I didn’t want to be alone in love/despair and that was pretty much that. My friends were all mostly supportive and my parents ultimately were too. Now they come to my queer parties, ask about how my boyfriends are doing and all that.”

Chu, Copywriter, Ho Chi Minh City

photo by Kevin Truong

Chu, in his own words:“Mr. Washington said people have their right for happiness. And by happiness, some will enjoy covering. Some find it fun exposing under the sun. I’m the second type. Of course, I am not the vampire to hide even though I can bite. (Seriously, I don’t judge. Ok, I know I am judging :P)
I was born gay, I think so. Especially, when I have the one and only grandmother who did prepare me a gift of a doll instead of a car on the day I was born. She did give me the doll. And, I am happy for that.

I have faced with all the mocking things since I was 3 in the kinder garden. Then, I get used to it when I grow up. I am just being myself; I am too big to hide, by the way. I accepted myself quite easily. It’s not a struggle like other normal Asian stories that you may hear about. Unfortunately, I didn’t find it wrong being a gay. I’m too western, my mom said. When you are in a family where all people are American oriented, and you are working in international advertising industries in which gays rule, you’ll find it easy to be accepted.

I remember once when I’ve been to a church, a man had told me: you cannot choose your life plan, as God has already made it. However, you can choose how to finish his plan, your way with his guide. I believe it. So, I exposed myself to everyone. Oh, but not my mom and my family, sorry, because I don’t think they can handle it. However, I found releasing, when my mom talking to me: “what if I give you the money, you go to Thailand and get your gender fixed”.

Accepting is one of the big challenges I can conquer.

I find happy with the current situation. I respect other people finding their true gender with surgery. I just want to finish the plan that God gave me, naturally. It will make no difference if I transform into a girl, or try to be a straight, I think. The grass is always greener on the other side, I think. However, it’s Asia I am living in. There are still some offenses. Coming out is not that easy. 2 of my Ex get married to women, because families wanted them to. But I still think, Ho Chi Minh City is soon a gay heaven after Bangkok.

In the jungle city like mine, Ho Chi Minh City, the changes are equal to gay and non-gay. It’s the mix culture environment where gay is not something so horrible. It’s not abnormal, it’s not special. We get many gay talents here. So the gay life in this city is blooming and interesting. That’s why; I found no reason to keep myself away from the world I belong. Trying denial, you lose the chance to be happy.

And, being gay gives me chance to meet more people, to know more things interestingly. By being gay, I have met my friends, and I have the chance to go to Paris, my dream-come true place. And, I don’t have to deal with marriage headache (lol).

I admire ones who fight for gays right. I wish world peace (so “Miss Congeniality”), happiness and peace to all. No more hide; it’s the time for us to show ourselves. The time of men had passed; the age of women power is soon gone, now it’s the time of 3rd world.”

Jacob and Hayden, Musician and Musician/Director, Los Angeles

photo by Kevin Truong

Jacob, in his own words: “Being gay is AMAZING.

It means I can wear cut off shorts and a lady wig to a club and nobody will think anything of it. I haven’t tried it yet, but I appreciate the option.

I actually feel very lucky to be gay, and to be with my husband, Hayden. We have a great physical and spiritual connection that I feel like can only be achieved in a same sex relationship. It’s easier to truly understand each other (I think sometimes different hormones and mixed signals can make it a little more difficult).

It’s great having someone to watch horror movies, Jam out with music, play video games, and be totally crude together and then later cuddle up or bone down.

(With regards to challenges) Coming out in high school, I lost a few friends…but whatever, I’ve made better ones since then. My Mom Also had a hard time grasping the concept that gays were not just a walking virus. She said some hard things to hear and we don’t talk much these days.

Trying not to be “gay fat” is also a challenge.

I have met many excellent gays here in LA. I don’t know if I can tell you much about the scene here though. I spend more time at home than going out in gay town. The gays I do spend my time with are rad ass though. Artsy fartsy crafty gays. I’m lucky to have found a group of friends where we’re always trying to keep each other busy with our different art projects… which was always a dream of mine in high school.

In middle school I wasn’t out to my family… or really any of my friends. However, I never said no to a gay hook up when it presented itself..

I eventually became more comfortable with my sexuality and a little more open about it in high school…I was even sort of dating someone. I guess I was never too careful about covering my tracks either. The internet browser would totally remember all the porn I had looked at, so that was probably cool for my mom when she went to check her email and the browser suggested she check out gaybeef.com instead.

Then one night when I was 15, I came home from work and saw that my mom searched my room and found all my porn and placed it in a fanned out arrangement on my bed. Great. I went straight to bed that night, unable to face the embarrassment. The Next morning we had a fight and I left for school…which I decided to ditch. I moved out that night and was emancipated a few months later.

My mom and I don’t Speak that often. but we both love each other.. it just is what it is.
I’m happy with where I am and what I’ve been able to accomplish on my own. Being gay has given me great strength. and I am very proud of who I am.”

Hayden, in his own words: “Being gay…what does it mean to me? I’ve never really given it much thought. But, I would have to say that it means having the freedom to express myself. That sounds pretty cheesy, and sometimes its easier said than done. But, I’ll try and break it down.

Being a gay guy is awesome. I have a partner that understands when I need to find a save point before I shut-off the Xbox. He gets that some nights its better to stay at home with a 6-pack and watch horror movies all night.

My family, I couldn’t ask for a better group of people. Not only do they appreciate my weirdness…they encourage it.

My friends, they’re all so unique and incredible. We’re like a group of renegade artists. If someone isn’t working on an art project we get itchy.

Being gay to me means being fortunate to be myself and have the support it takes to do so.

I haven’t really faced many challenges for being gay. I came out in High School, which probably would have been tough. But, I think the black make-up and spiked collars took some of the focus off of the fact that I was gay.

Its difficult to describe the gay scene in Los Angeles. There are a ton of queers with a ton of different interests; a person has some options. I stay home a lot…ha ha.

My coming out story is totally boring. It was during 11th grade English class. The girl behind me used to read Metal Edge Magazine everyday. Our teacher was often intoxicated so I would turn around in my desk to read the magazines with her. She would talk about which rock stars she thought were hot. Never being one to shy away controversy, I tested the waters here and professed my love for Daniel Johns of Silverchair. She didn’t bat an eyelash but rather said, “Me too. I had a sex dream about him last night.”

Check out Jacob and Hayden’s music with Professor Possessor