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Chu, Copywriter, Ho Chi Minh City

photo by Kevin Truong

Chu, in his own words:“Mr. Washington said people have their right for happiness. And by happiness, some will enjoy covering. Some find it fun exposing under the sun. I’m the second type. Of course, I am not the vampire to hide even though I can bite. (Seriously, I don’t judge. Ok, I know I am judging :P)
I was born gay, I think so. Especially, when I have the one and only grandmother who did prepare me a gift of a doll instead of a car on the day I was born. She did give me the doll. And, I am happy for that.

I have faced with all the mocking things since I was 3 in the kinder garden. Then, I get used to it when I grow up. I am just being myself; I am too big to hide, by the way. I accepted myself quite easily. It’s not a struggle like other normal Asian stories that you may hear about. Unfortunately, I didn’t find it wrong being a gay. I’m too western, my mom said. When you are in a family where all people are American oriented, and you are working in international advertising industries in which gays rule, you’ll find it easy to be accepted.

I remember once when I’ve been to a church, a man had told me: you cannot choose your life plan, as God has already made it. However, you can choose how to finish his plan, your way with his guide. I believe it. So, I exposed myself to everyone. Oh, but not my mom and my family, sorry, because I don’t think they can handle it. However, I found releasing, when my mom talking to me: “what if I give you the money, you go to Thailand and get your gender fixed”.

Accepting is one of the big challenges I can conquer.

I find happy with the current situation. I respect other people finding their true gender with surgery. I just want to finish the plan that God gave me, naturally. It will make no difference if I transform into a girl, or try to be a straight, I think. The grass is always greener on the other side, I think. However, it’s Asia I am living in. There are still some offenses. Coming out is not that easy. 2 of my Ex get married to women, because families wanted them to. But I still think, Ho Chi Minh City is soon a gay heaven after Bangkok.

In the jungle city like mine, Ho Chi Minh City, the changes are equal to gay and non-gay. It’s the mix culture environment where gay is not something so horrible. It’s not abnormal, it’s not special. We get many gay talents here. So the gay life in this city is blooming and interesting. That’s why; I found no reason to keep myself away from the world I belong. Trying denial, you lose the chance to be happy.

And, being gay gives me chance to meet more people, to know more things interestingly. By being gay, I have met my friends, and I have the chance to go to Paris, my dream-come true place. And, I don’t have to deal with marriage headache (lol).

I admire ones who fight for gays right. I wish world peace (so “Miss Congeniality”), happiness and peace to all. No more hide; it’s the time for us to show ourselves. The time of men had passed; the age of women power is soon gone, now it’s the time of 3rd world.”

Broderick, Seminarian, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

Broderick, in his own words: “Whenever I’m asked when I “came out”, I always wonder, “When am I not coming out?” I wonder this because my own narrative of publicly disclosing my sexual orientation is a process, not an event. I remember being nine years old and asking myself when and how I would tell my parents that I am gay. My fourth grade self could not imagine that it would take twelve years of introspection, conversations, self-discovery, forgiveness, and courage before the day finally came.

As a child and adolescent, I had only one prayer: God, make me straight. I wanted nothing more than to meet a girl, fall in love, have 3.5 children, live in the suburbs, drive a minivan, and own a Sam’s Club card. Over time though, I was confronted with reality of my sexual orientation. The more I resisted it, the more lonely I felt. I wanted to tell other people my “secret”, but I chickened out at the last minute every time. I poured myself into memorizing numerous Bible verses, going to every religious conference I possibly could, and singing louder than everyone else at church. While some people end at “pray away the gay”, I tried to “wash away the gay”. I was baptized four times, with each time proving that no force on heaven or earth could rid me of my unwanted sexual orientation.

In college, I heard a speaker cite a statistic that gay men have an average of forty anonymous sexual partners per year. The speaker’s assertion peaked my curiosity and after just a few minutes of research on Google, I realized the speaker had been misleading. This led me to ask myself whether other things I had heard about gay people were consistent to reality. Somehow, I happened upon the website of gay Christian Bible study group in New York City. I e-mailed the facilitator and asked him if I could Skype in to one of their sessions and he said yes. Sadly, I didn’t go through with my intention. However, I kept that facilitator’s information and contacted him the next summer about the steps I needed to take to begin the process of slowly disclosing to others what I thought I had been hiding for a lifetime.

The next part of the story is a bit fuzzy. Basically, over the next four years – up to this very day – I continued to process of coming out by telling my closest friends and family members. I have been met with nothing but generosity and graciousness. Being an openly gay man is a unique gift. I feel so grateful to live the life that I live, to be loved by friends and family alike, and to be able to follow my passion for church ministry as a student at Virginia Theological Seminary. There is no way my nine year old self could have imagined how tumultuous and at times anguish-filled my life would be. But there’s also no way I could have anticipated the joy of this beautiful journey.”

Johnathan, Creator, Portland, Oregon

photo by Kevin Truong

Johnathan, in his own words: “Being gay means everything and nothing to me. My sexuality is important to me but doesn’t define me. I am a man who just so happens to like other men and it’s not that big of a deal.

My biggest challenge and success has been moving across the country by myself. Leaving my parents was hard, mostly for my father, but I had to for my own well being and growth. The City and State I was raised in became a hole of depression but the last three years spent in Oregon have been the best thing that’s happened. Every day I am creating a beautiful life.

(The gay community in Portland) has it’s pros and cons, and I appreciate it all the more because I was raised in a much smaller gay community. I’m happy to have the opportunity to freely connect with other gay men but it can be lonely.

It took me until college to come to labeling myself as homosexual. On the day before Father’s Day, at the age of eighteen, I came out to my parents. My father cried and my mother laughed. They both grew to understand and support my homosexuality like they had in all other aspects of my life.

I wouldn’t be where I am today without everything happening the way that it did. Any advice I could give (to my younger self) probably wouldn’t have been appreciated. I wish I would have started therapy sooner though.”