Category Archives: Uncategorized

Julian, Sociologist, Lima, Peru

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin TRuong

photo by Kevin Truong

Julian, in his own words: “Ser gay significa para mi tener la convicción de que cada uno es libre de amar y querer a una persona de su mismo sexo. Decir que soy gay es un reto a las posibilidades de amor que la sociedad impone.
 
Aceptar mi sexualidad ha sido uno de los más grandes retos que he tenido. Antes era horrible como mi mente trabajaba en que cosas decir y que hacía o que no para que la gente no lo note. Era agotador y siempre me sentía intranquilo. En mi hogar me veían molesto siempre y no sabían por qué y yo tampoco sentía que podía decirlo. Luego de aceptar quien soy todo comenzó a mejorar y ahora siento que las relaciones que tengo con los demás son más honestas que antes.

La comunidad gay en Lima es aún pequeña, no hay mucha visibilidad pero creo que se están abriendo grandes oportunidades y avances que la gente está consiguiendo. Creo que de aca a unos años seremos más fuertes y con capacidad de presión para generar políticas públicas hacia la población y una sociedad sin discriminación.

Yo sabía que me gustaban los hombres desde pequeño y en secundaria comenzaron a sospechar pero la reacción de ellos no fue nada bueno así que lo negué. Fue recién en el verano del 2009 gracias al apoyo de mis amigos que les dije que era, fue todo un proceso y sigue siendo. Mi madre hace unos meses me dijo “lo único que quiero es que seas feliz”, ella tiene miedo de cómo la gente me pueda tratar en el futuro, por eso también es que decidí luchar por mis derechos, para demostrarle que su deseo y el mío son posibles.

Le diría que ser gay no es el fin del mundo, que nadie me va a castigar, es un camino duro pero aceptarse es lo mejor que te puede pasar y que hay gente que te seguirá queriendo incluso aún más por ser honesto contigo mismo.”

In English:

“Being gay means to me to have the conviction that everyone is free to love and love a person of the same sex. To say that I’m gay is a challenge to the possibilities of love that society imposes.

Accepting my sexuality has been one of the biggest challenges I’ve ever had. Before it was horrible as my mind worked about how to say things or act for people not to notice my sexuality. It was exhausting and I always felt uneasy. At home I always looked annoyed and people did not know why and I felt that I could not say what was happening. After accepting who I am everything started to improve and now I feel that I have more honest relationships with others than before.

The gay community in Lima is still small, there is not much visibility but I think they are opening great opportunities and developments for people to receive. I think from here in a few years we will be stronger and able to pressure to generate public policies towards the population and have a society without discrimination.

I knew I liked men since childhood but my parents began to suspect when I was 16 but their reaction was not good so I refused to accept my sexual orientation. It was not until the summer of 2009 thanks to the support of my friends that I told to my parents, it was a process and remains so. My mother a few months ago said “all I want is your happiness” she is afraid of how people can treat me in the future, so I also decided to fight for my rights, to demonstrate her desires and mine are possible.

(To my younger self) I would say that being gay is not the end of the world, no one is going to punish you, it’s a hard road but accepting it is the best that can happen and there are people who still love you even more for being honest with yourself.”

Jeremy, Actor, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Jeremy, in his own words: “To me, being gay has always been about a connection I’ve felt with men. It’s not that I’m not physically attracted to women. It’s just that I know that I can understand men in a way that I can’t understand women. It’s entirely possible that I just haven’t given myself the chance to even try, but we’ll cross that bridge when it comes to it!

The biggest challenge was growing up in rural Minnesota. The amount of ignorance that I’ve encountered in my life is crippling. People fear what they don’t understand, and I was something that Hutchinson, MN could not wrap their minds around.

The gay community in New York is scary. I can’t walk down the street without seeing a buff dude strutting his perfectly toned body with his perfectly toned boyfriend. When I first moved here I was worried that it took the washboard abs to thrive as a gay man in New York City, but I’m beginning to realize that even if it’s true I just don’t care. I really love myself at this current juncture of my life.

I don’t really have a coming out story. I never struggled with my sexuality. I’ve always known I was gay even before I knew what being gay was. Although, I do remember when I was little I was playing video games with my mom’s boyfriend, and I told her I was going to marry Captain America, and she responded “Yes you are baby!”. That’s probably the earliest conversation I had with my mom about my sexuality!

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Flaunt it! Flaunt it like you don’t give a damn because in most cases you really shouldn’t. Also buy a pair of leggings right now!

Patrick, Policy Analyst, Nairobi, Kenya

photo by Kevin Truong

Patrick, in his own words: “What does being gay mean to you?

Tough question. Definitely one that a straight person doesn’t face and doesn’t have to answer. In my view, that’s the path I’ll take when faced with this question. It means being Patrick. It means being a person. It means being there for my friends. It means being a source of humour for them. Kevin that’s a really, really difficult question!

(With regards to challenges) Too many to even think of and furthermore, being a really private person makes this a difficult question to answer. I’ve been very lucky academically and professionally and I’m very happy with my career. The biggest challenge was accepting that I’m prone to bouts of depression and having to learn how to deal with it. It probably stems from when I was younger and susceptible to bullies at school. It all happened a very long time ago and I’m glad that I developed skin as thick as a rhino’s. I’m very sure of myself now. Perhaps a tad bit too sure.

There comes a time in your life when you have to make a very personal decision and let your truth come out. I had always known that I was different and it disturbed me. It took me a long time to accept my truth and when I got to that stage in my thinking, it was time to share it with those closest to me. I came out at 22. The first person I told was my sister, and I followed it up by telling our cousin. It wasn’t complicated, lacked drama and was a bit of an anticlimax to be honest. Same thing with my mother. I was expecting fireworks and didn’t get any (my sister will probably insist that I have a penchant for drama even though I categorically deny that I do). Truth is, I still find myself having to come out all the time-to new friends, at work, wherever. I’ve never had to make any major announcements. I just assume that people assume that I’m gay and will always answer in the affirmative if asked.

(The gay community in Nairobi is)Vast and varied. There is a diversity of groups divided along age and class lines. There are multiple scenes. It’s really hard to describe it because I don’t really belong to any of the scenes therefore I’m probably not best placed to answer the question. I do have gay friends in the city, but our interactions are completely merged with experiences with straight friends. With the group of friends I spend a lot of time with, it’s very integrated.

(With regards to advice to my younger self) Another daunting question!

-Make no apologies about being who you are-particularly in your dealings with bullies. It’s quite likely that they’re working through major insecurities and might be projecting these issues on you.

-Do not focus too much on what you think people may be thinking of you. They’re busily wrapped up in their own lives and have their own problems.

-Be happy, smile, be radiant! Do the things that give you pleasure, no matter their opinions of people around you.

-Always remember that your dearest and nearest have your back.

-Most importantly, try not to avoid the rugby pitch!”