Category Archives: Portland, Oregon

Todd, Realtor, Portland, Oregon

photo by Kevin Truong

Todd, in his own words: “Being gay to me means being a man who is attracted to and loves men, but also masculinity in its many iterations. I hear many gay men say that they feel like being gay is not that big of deal. For me it is still a fairly big deal, I feel that we are a special variation in the human species and are unique, both biologically and socially.

I feel like I have had very few obstacles as a result of coming out. Quite the contrary, it has opened doors that I otherwise never would have passed though and my life has been enriched as a result.

I came out 20 years ago this year. My parents read a college paper I wrote while I was studying abroad in Germany, in which it was obvious that the author was gay. It ended up being the ideal situation since they had a whole year to process it while I was overseas. They never said a word about it until I came out to them after I returned home to Portland. I felt compelled to come out when I did being that we were fighting one several anti-gay ballot measures that popped up in the 1990s, all of which were defeated at the ballot box by Oregon voters, thankfully. These events, although trying, did have the positive effect of compelling many people to come out. Portland has become more and more gay friendly ever since.

My advice to a younger version of me would be to be patient and enjoy life as it unfolds. It’s important to have goals but ultimately life is a process, not a plan. It’s an awesome journey and everyone has something to contribute that adds value to this world.”

Walter and Kit, Retiree and RN, Portland, Oregon

Kit and Walter, photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Kit and Walter, photo by Kevin Truong

Walter and Kit, in their own words: “We have been together for nearly 20 years and we will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary next month. We were living and working in Boston when marriage equality was passed in 2004. We took advantage of it, even though we were unsure if it would remain legal, as there were many attempts to undo it.

Kit was born and raised in Singapore. He came here to go to college in Texas. We met soon after he took his first job out of college, in Philadelphia. He was just coming to grips with his sexuality. He approached me to be his pen pal on the web and I agreed. We did not meet in person for over six months but once we did, it was clear that we enjoyed one another a lot. Once he got his green card, Kit came to live with me in Boston.

I was raised in a conservative family and married early. By the time I met Kit I had served 23 years in the active Army and was working a second career. I was also out to everyone by then, which provided Kit great support in his coming out journey.

We have both prospered professionally and, as we are both in the same field now, we are able to give significant understanding and support to one another.

Being gay is an aspect of our life, an important one and one that we are proud of, but it does not rule our existence. We lead a pretty normal, home based, lifestyle. We have a nice circle of friends and remain close to our families. We try to be supportive of the local and national gay community in a variety of ways.

If we had any advice to give our younger selves it would be to be proud of who you are and how you live and worry less about what others think. As Oscar Wilde said: “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”

Rodbernson, Choreographer, Portland, Oregon

photo by Kevin Truong

Rodbernson, in his own words: “Being gay to me means to be proud and to be unapologetically sorry for being who you are. It means you don’t need anyone’s permission to love who you want. It means having the courage to be fierce.

One of my challenges was finding true love. I’m only 21, but finding love isn’t easy. It takes a lot to open up to someone. It takes trust, commitment, and communication to be in a relationship. I’m in the pursuit to happiness. One thing that makes me happy is dance. Movement is what keeps me going to reach my goals. I’m currently choreographing for local performers and hope to be successful as a choreographer. One day I’ll own my own dance studio to passionately teach dance as my job. Wake up. DANCE. Sleep. Repeat. That’s my dream, and no one can take that away from me.

The gay community in Portland is very small. Everyone seems to know someone through a friend or foe. Seems like everyone is partying on the daily basis.

I came out to my mother through a letter. I told her I was raped at the age of 6. She didn’t believe me. She kicked me out of my home at the age of 16. I had to grow up at a young age. Because of this I learned how to be independent and to trust no one.

Advice I would have given to my younger self: “Don’t cry over boys. Do some squats and make them cry wishin they still had that ass.”

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Category Archives: Portland, Oregon

Todd, Realtor, Portland, Oregon

Walter and Kit, Retiree and RN, Portland, Oregon

Rodbernson, Choreographer, Portland, Oregon