Author Archives: thegaymenproject

About thegaymenproject

The Gay Men Project is a photo project by New York based photographer Kevin Truong. Truong received his BFA in from photography from the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, NY, and has been the recipient of numerous awards, and his photo credits include the New York Times.

Happy First Birthday to the Gay Men Project!

Today The Gay Men Project turns one-year-old.

So I wanted to take the opportunity to express my extreme gratitude to each of the 217 men who trusted me enough to be a part of the project and to share a piece of their life. I remember every conversation–whether during a car ride to Casco Viejo in Panama, or a vicarage in East Dulwich outside London, the conversation spoken in broken French and broken English while driving in your imported American car in Paris, I remember your suburban home in Baltimore, and your in-process-remodeled apartment in Boston, seeing you ride up on your bike in San Francisco, rescheduling my flight to photograph you in Portland, every NYC stairwell, every NYC brownstone, every dog, every cat, and of course, I remember very fondly our early morning walk to the Capital Building in our nation’s capital. I look forward to our growing friendship and am honored to call you more than a friend, but also a brother.

I hope you’re as proud of all our hard work as I am. Together in the past year we’ve laid the groundwork for something truly special, and I’m excited as together in the next year we build The Gay Men Project into something truly phenomenal.

With sincere affection, thank you for not only being a part of The Gay Men Project, thank you for being a part of my life.

And my dream.

love, Kev

Happy Birthday to the Gay Men Project

Brad and Allen, Digital and Social Media Strategist and Brand Strategy Firm Partner, Boston

photo by Kevin Truong

Brad, in his own words: “I love being gay. I almost feel bad saying that, because I know there are still many people who face serious prejudice, hatred, and danger because of it. But, part of the reason I love being gay is because I feel like I can help pave the way for others, just like others have done for me. While I’m a lot of different things—including a marketer, crossfitter, cyclist, runner, actor, volunteer, husband, son, brother-in-law, and uncle—being gay is at my core and I think it’s important to be out in every aspect of my life for my own happiness and truth, and to support others in theirs.

When I think about the nearly 20 years since I came out, a lot has changed. To me, the most poignant demonstration of that change is actually through my parents’ journey. When I came out to them in 1994, they were scared for me. They were afraid I’d be ostracized from my friends as we got older and they went off and had “normal” families. They didn’t want their friends to know because they didn’t think they could ever understand or look at them or me in the same way. They thought I’d be limited in my choices of where I could live, where I could work, and what I could do with my life.

Fast-forward to our wedding in 2006 and the joy my parents had as Allen and I got married in front of them and about 150 of our friends and family members. All the people who they were worried would desert me were there. Their close friends, who they never thought they could tell, were there. The evening was filled with laugher, some tears, lots of hugs, and lots and lots of dancing.

We now happily live in Boston, in the state that was first in the nation to legalize same sex marriage over nine years ago. While I’ve heard some lament that the gay “scene” here is pretty limited, I think that’s largely due to broader acceptance and more people being open/out in every facet of their life. It results in less of a need for gay people to have as many places that we can call only “ours”. I have gay and straight friends at work, at crossfit, who I cycle with, who I know from theater, in our neighborhood, etc., so I don’t usually feel a need to go somewhere to be with gay people, as I’m with them all the time. “

Allen, in his own words: I knew I was gay at a really young age, but I was convinced that I could live a ‘normal’ life, that the feelings would subside. But they didn’t no matter how hard I tried – and I’m a pretty determined person.

It wasn’t until I completed grad school that I decided to deal with my sexuality. I was 31, had my dream job, a great group of friends and a loving family, but I wasn’t that happy something was missing. So I decided it was time to come out. I was initially concerned with telling people…probably less so because I was gay, but because I felt like I’d been living a lie and had been dishonest to my friends and family. So, to make sure I didn’t back out – I did what all good consultants do – I read every book on coming out, identified ‘best practices’ and made a timeline – a project plan of sorts, with milestone dates to tell my friends and family.

My friends and family were incredibly supportive and happy for me. And, I have to say, if I could choose between being straight and gay, I’d choose gay. I’ve met the love of my life and married my best friend and I’d not have it any other way.”

Terry, Flutist, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Terry, in his own words: Terry Lim is a classical musician, an avid portrait photographer, and a dog lover. Terry is the executive and artistic director of a newly formed chamber music series, “Project ∞” where he presents innovative and unusual programs showcasing many emerging young composers and musicians.

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“I am all about being open minded and appreciating everyone’s differences. Being gay means accepting others for who they are and being genuine with one another to build up meaningful connections.

I grew up in Vancouver where most people are very open minded and have chill personalities (typical West Coast style). Coming out to my friends was not so eventful. No one seemed to care or think it was a big deal to begin with, but I knew that all of them were my friends because of who I am, not my sexual orientation. I personally thank all of my friends for always being supportive and appreciating who I am. That’s why I can be me all the time and I feel comfortable being me.

Moving to NYC from Vancouver was definitely a huge change in my life. I had a very comfortable and amazing life in Vancouver but I wanted a change and I wanted to go for something quite drastically different from Vancouver. That’s how I ended up in NYC. Typical city life style, fast pace, constantly moving and stressed out people all over. The gay community in NYC is filled with endless events every single day and so many gay men from all over the world, no doubt about that. While I appreciate meeting and being surrounded by many different types of gay men, I also face challenges within this community. This is something I hadn’t really felt until I moved to NYC (or the States for that matter)- racism within the gay community. It almost came down to the point where I felt like many people think of gay Asians as the bottom of food chain. I know there are probably a variety of reasons why they have come to that conclusion whether it’s cultural, environmental, or social. It’s something I hadn’t experienced until I moved to NYC. As much as I am comfortable in my own skin and am secure with who I am, I want my community to be more open minded and learn to appreciate and love each other for the difference.”