Author Archives: thegaymenproject

About thegaymenproject

The Gay Men Project is a photo project by New York based photographer Kevin Truong. Truong received his BFA in from photography from the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, NY, and has been the recipient of numerous awards, and his photo credits include the New York Times.

Michael, Photography Association President and Consultant, Los Angeles

photo by Kevin Truong

Michael, in his own words: “When I was seven or eight years old my parents built one of the first homes in a new subdivision in Oklahoma City. I used to hide in its garage and watch the bare-chested construction workers frame newer houses through the window, positioning myself so they couldn’t see me, but so I could spy on them with my binoculars (not purchased for this purpose of course). I think that’s when I knew I had feelings that weren’t “normal” and that I shouldn’t share them with anyone else. I also loved purloining copies of my dad’s “True – The Man’s Magazine” from his nightstand and poring over the brawny men illustrated on the covers and feature stories fighting alligators and performing heroic deeds while always bare-chested. To this day, the mere words “bare-chested” elicit a rise in me.

So, I suppose the thought that I might be gay was always lurking in the back of my mind. But I didn’t call it gay or anything else for that matter. It was just my secret passion for men’s bodies. My dad, a very handsome man, had many handsome friends who gathered once a month to have “jam sessions” and play favorite big band songs popular when they fought in World War II: Artie Shaw, Glenn Miller and Tommy Dorsey. These were real men’s evenings where there was much drinking, non-stop smoking and language and stories not for children. But I loved seeing and hearing them and begged to be allowed to stay up a bit later once in a while to watch. On one of those special nights, my mother and I were sitting on the steps leading into our “sunken” living room listening to their stylings. I was absentmindedly stroking my eyebrow with my index finger. My mother told me to stop doing that immediately. “Why?” I asked. “Because that’s how homosexuals signal each other,” she said.

And suddenly I thought, she knows! How can she know??

Well, she didn’t really know then although she suspected later as I found out. But it was enough to make me keep my guard up for several years. So I suppressed that side of me and went off to college determined to sleep with women and have a girlfriend and I did just that. But I still couldn’t keep my eyes off the cute and often bare-chested college boys, one in particular named Gerald. Gerald had already had a boyfriend before so he was a likely target. And then one drug-drenched night at a friend’s house in the country we wandered off to get away from the psychedelic madness. Two men went into the woods and came out changed forever at dawn the next day. And it had been the most natural, delightful and satisfying experience I’d ever had. I only wondered why I’d waited so long.

I didn’t so much “come out” as just be out. Fortunately for me, it was natural and easy. I found immediate and full acceptance from friends and family as they became aware. I know it’s often a much harder path for others so I feel lucky. I’m enthralled with the changing attitudes and acceptance in our society regarding gays and same-sex marriage. It’s clear the younger generation don’t find those distinctions important or relevant any more, so that today’s younger gay generation and those who follow can just be themselves naturally.”

Michael and Michael, Photographer and Social Media Coordinator, Los Angeles

photo by Kevin Truong

Michael, in his own words:

1. What does being gay mean to you?
2. What challenges have you faced?
3. What’s the gay community/scene like in Los Angeles?
4. What’s your coming out story?

1. Love
2. Discrimination and being stereotyped
3. It really depends on what area and crowd you like to be around. Weho is very pretentious and prissy while silverlake/Los Feliz area is all the hipster gays which I’m into.
4. I came out right after high school at the age of 18. I just woke up one day and decided to tell my folks. They seemed stunned and they were quite for a min or so which seemed like a million years. My mom cried and my dad had the question of “but how do you know? Have you experimented?” I told him, of course. I just know. But when my mom was crying, my first thought was, children. I told her this doesn’t mean I won’t have children. I think this is one thing that parents of gay children worry about the most. Shortly after that day, my parents came to me. They said they did some research and found a local support group for gay youth. I was a little surprised but also felt very grateful to have parents who are supportive. A few weeks after my coming out, my adopted brother also came out. Now we are one big gay (happy) family!

Michael, in his own words: “I consider my sexuality to be a small, yet important, aspect of my identity. To me, being gay is all about love: Who do I love? Men, or women? Because I love men, I’m considered to be gay. I feel like others in the LGBT community place too much emphasis on sexuality.

(With regards to challenges) I’ve been stereotyped, harassed, betrayed, and treated like a subpar human. I suppose what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, right?

The scene (in Los Angeles) is very segregated. There’s the gays in WeHo, and then there’s everybody else. WeHo is like Vegas for the LGBT community: Nice to visit, but who would ever want to live there? The boys and girls of the area tend to focus on partying, superficiality, and materialism. The gay scene outside of WeHo is much less of a “scene” and more a blend of all types of people with different backgrounds and interests. I personally love the Eastside (Silverlake, Los Feliz, Echopark), because I feel like people there focus less on sexuality and more on the character of a person.

When I was 15 years old, my older brother found a gay erotica novel (appropriately titled “Boy’s First Time), under my bed mattress. His natural response was to show my parents the book. They asked if I was gay, and the scared teenager that I was responded with a, “I think I’m bi?” After a few weeks, I flat out told them I was gay. They struggled with it at first, but now they are completely accepting of me.”

photo by Kevin Truong

Mic, Banking, Paris

photo by Kevin Truong

Mic, in his own French words: “Pour moi, gay est une personne normale qui vit sa sexualité : la sexualité est privée et doit être épanouie. Il faut savoir se découvrir soi même.
Je pense que ce n’est pas un choix et qu’il faut vivre sa vie telle qu’on la ressent ; c’est aussi vrai pour son travail.

(les chalenges) Ne pas en parler à mon travail sauf à mon assistante ; ce n’est pas facile dans une banque alors qu’il y a autant de gays dans les banques que dans les autres entreprises.

(La communauté gay a Paris) Il y a le Marais et le reste de Paris : suis plutôt du reste de Paris où il y a aussi de nombreux gays que je connais et avec qui je dialogue, partage, sors, …

(l’histoire de ton coming-out) Avec ma famille, tout a été naturel et même ma mère a demandé à mon “mari” de s’occuper de moi. Avec les parents et les frères de mon “mari”, aucun souci
Avec mes ami(e)s, ils ont adoptés mon “mari” et inversement j’ai été adopté par ses ami(e)s.
Avec mes voisin(e)s et entourages et nos compagnons de voyages lointains, aucune discriminations ; nous avons de très bonnes relations et qui durent.