Author Archives: thegaymenproject

About thegaymenproject

The Gay Men Project is a photo project by New York based photographer Kevin Truong. Truong received his BFA in from photography from the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, NY, and has been the recipient of numerous awards, and his photo credits include the New York Times.

Anthony, Animator, Montreal

photo by Kevin Truong

Anthony, in his own words: “If coming out meant anything more than being honest with myself about who I was attracted to physically and emotionally, it also was the freedom that came with it.

You find yourself suddenly free from the weight and fatigue of secretes. If you want to, gay men get to play with ever aspect of masculinity. There are no predefined cultural gender roles for us. We can be sensitive, emotional, or sympathetic with out the worry of loosing our male friends or jobs. We can have all sorts of relationships. What’s the worst people can think of us? That we are gay? Well, we are! With no secret, there is no power.

Once I had the time and confidence to question being straight, the flood gates opened up. If such a basic thing was in question, something I had taken completely for granted, then what else in this world was not as it seemed? I had always assumed growing up meant I would meet a girl, have kids, work a job I hated, and die. But that got thrown out the window! From that point on in my life, my already healthy curious nature took control, and I questioned everything, constantly. My opinions, my rules, and my evolving values. Life wasn’t at all predicable, and became some sort of Alice in Wonderland adventure with no clear finish.

Here in Montreal, the gay community is a little bit more my style. Smaller than NYC or London where I lived previously. Gays here seem to get up early, and leave work at 6.

On coming out; I was terrified. I relied on my parents for so much. If they disowned me for some reason, who knows what I would have done. That’s a small lie actually. I had every contingency worked out. Money, places to stay, long and short term. An entire network on support on the ready.

I could have waited till I was settled and on my own before coming out. But, it felt like life couldn’t start till this was out of the way. Who could concentrate on work, or art, or music with the huge pink elephant in the room? Family dinner was intolerable. I could not listen to anyone over the voice of my own thoughts.

In the end, they surprised me. My mother was a little disappointed at first, but came around. It seemed natural and I could not begrudge her those feelings. My father who I lived with was the big surprise. He’s a stage hand, and works with some pretty rough and tumble guys. Men’s-men if you know what I mean. They are like the jocks of the entertainment industry. For his part, he didn’t bat an eye. After being so scared to come out to him, his biggest response was shame. He was ashamed that me, his very own son, felt he could not trust his father sooner. We became a lot closer after that.”

Tom, DJ and Community Activist, San Francisco

photo by Kevin Truong

Tom, in his own words: “(Being gay has) been a gift for me! My worldview and creative output are so shaped by my being queer and i’m pretty proud of both. The people i’ve met, the places i’ve gone, the things i’ve accomplished, so many of those things wouldn’t have happened if I weren’t queer and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

(With regards to challenges) Aside from occasionally having ‘faggot’ shouted at me on the street and a few tumultuous teenage years (I haven’t had) too many to speak of. I’m sure that there have been more subtle challenges but my life as a gay men has been largely without incident and I’m very thankful and lucky to be able to say that.

(The gay scene in San Francisco is) pretty spectacular. When I first moved here I felt like looking at the queer scene was like standing on the edge of the ocean — It was so vast and had far too much depth to ever understand. Having been here for eight years now it certainly doesn’t appear as vast as it once does but its still very impressive. It’s amazing living in a city where there’s such a diversity of experiences and interests that there isn’t a ‘gay scene’ to speak of but rather communities within that that congregate around other interests and just happen to be queer.

(With regards to coming out) I’ve been out for 11 years now, and it’s been mostly uphill since that moment. I met my first other gay boy my age when I was a sophomore in High School, fell in love with him, had my heart ripped out, told everyone it was happening because I didn’t want to be alone in love/despair and that was pretty much that. My friends were all mostly supportive and my parents ultimately were too. Now they come to my queer parties, ask about how my boyfriends are doing and all that.”

Chu, Copywriter, Ho Chi Minh City

photo by Kevin Truong

Chu, in his own words:“Mr. Washington said people have their right for happiness. And by happiness, some will enjoy covering. Some find it fun exposing under the sun. I’m the second type. Of course, I am not the vampire to hide even though I can bite. (Seriously, I don’t judge. Ok, I know I am judging :P)
I was born gay, I think so. Especially, when I have the one and only grandmother who did prepare me a gift of a doll instead of a car on the day I was born. She did give me the doll. And, I am happy for that.

I have faced with all the mocking things since I was 3 in the kinder garden. Then, I get used to it when I grow up. I am just being myself; I am too big to hide, by the way. I accepted myself quite easily. It’s not a struggle like other normal Asian stories that you may hear about. Unfortunately, I didn’t find it wrong being a gay. I’m too western, my mom said. When you are in a family where all people are American oriented, and you are working in international advertising industries in which gays rule, you’ll find it easy to be accepted.

I remember once when I’ve been to a church, a man had told me: you cannot choose your life plan, as God has already made it. However, you can choose how to finish his plan, your way with his guide. I believe it. So, I exposed myself to everyone. Oh, but not my mom and my family, sorry, because I don’t think they can handle it. However, I found releasing, when my mom talking to me: “what if I give you the money, you go to Thailand and get your gender fixed”.

Accepting is one of the big challenges I can conquer.

I find happy with the current situation. I respect other people finding their true gender with surgery. I just want to finish the plan that God gave me, naturally. It will make no difference if I transform into a girl, or try to be a straight, I think. The grass is always greener on the other side, I think. However, it’s Asia I am living in. There are still some offenses. Coming out is not that easy. 2 of my Ex get married to women, because families wanted them to. But I still think, Ho Chi Minh City is soon a gay heaven after Bangkok.

In the jungle city like mine, Ho Chi Minh City, the changes are equal to gay and non-gay. It’s the mix culture environment where gay is not something so horrible. It’s not abnormal, it’s not special. We get many gay talents here. So the gay life in this city is blooming and interesting. That’s why; I found no reason to keep myself away from the world I belong. Trying denial, you lose the chance to be happy.

And, being gay gives me chance to meet more people, to know more things interestingly. By being gay, I have met my friends, and I have the chance to go to Paris, my dream-come true place. And, I don’t have to deal with marriage headache (lol).

I admire ones who fight for gays right. I wish world peace (so “Miss Congeniality”), happiness and peace to all. No more hide; it’s the time for us to show ourselves. The time of men had passed; the age of women power is soon gone, now it’s the time of 3rd world.”