Author Archives: thegaymenproject

About thegaymenproject

The Gay Men Project is a photo project by New York based photographer Kevin Truong. Truong received his BFA in from photography from the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, NY, and has been the recipient of numerous awards, and his photo credits include the New York Times.

A Note From Imam, in Jakarta…

“Dear Kevin…

Nice to know you… from your blog, i can see the future bright…
My name is Imam, i’m come from Jakarta, Indonesia…
I will tell you about my story…

Being a gay isn’t an easy thing, especially for those who’s living in Indonesia. Most of people still have paradigm that being a gay is a sin and not right, so they made any kind of discriminations against gay people and most of gay people are being marginalized in Indonesia. Not only in Indonesia actually, but in every country, gay people always get discriminations.

I’m still remember, when I was 4 years old. I was playing with my friends, most of them are girls in the same age, and my brothers were very angry when they saw it. That’s make a question, what’s wrong? By consciously, I felt there was nothing wrong with that. Because I didn’t imitate anyone to do something wrong. In that time, I knew that was a big mistake if I played with the girls and act like a girl.
In that condition, eventually lead me to days full of any kind of bullying, discrimination and violence. Every day, I must escape from my friends who always want to open my cloth, hide from them to avoid being urinated, and if I got luck, I went home without any tears. If there’s only a scratch minimally, I could take a long breathe.

Since my childhood, I was trained to be a runner, being marginalized, being alone, have no friends or anyone who’s understand me. If I remembered that time, so sad..
Now, in my 30 years old, luckily I’m still alive… Thanks God for the life lessons that I have experienced in the past, made me being myself today. A strong Imam.. who’s trying to raise from his sorrows, being gay isn’t a bad thing, not a crime, not a disease, not a curse, not a scorn, not a monster, not a disaster, not a sadness, not a sorrow.. I’m a gay, gay is you, gay is us, gays are them, gay is you sibling, gay is your son, gay is your friend, and gay isn’t your enemy… Hopefully Indonesia could be better, could be a wonderful world…

Jakarta, Indonesia.

hug”

photo by Imam

A Note from Bryan, in Kuala Lumpur…

“Back in my younger days when idolizing male actors and singers who inspired me very much has always been an issue among my friends telling that i’m ‘so gay’ i slowly growing up as if i had some sort of illness for not liking any female entertainers. And talking to girls seemed to be much comfortable than talking to guys when sports aren’t your favorite topic at all and all they’ve talked was always about sports i kinda grew further from them. So was their sarcasm. When people always talking about a ‘guys night’, i would usually stay home neither do i receive any invitation. I grew accustomed to that routine. You’d have to be cool with it, nothing else you can do, right?

In my later age when i realized i developed an attraction towards other guys i started questioning myself a lot of things. You read a lot and you watch a lot online, and probably listen to a lot of advice as well as indecencies. For me, advice didn’t work the way how it should probably because i didn’t love myself enough. It was tough to get through that purgatorial phase it took me four years to get over that fact. By time you understand this one thing: as long as you behave good, do good, people will eventually have respect for you. Seek respect as an individual, not as a group. Trust me you’ll have no problem along the way. And people will stop looking at you as a homosexual but a respectable person. That’s how i got myself a peace state of mind.

Coming to your loved ones, frankly speaking i’m not fully out. Friends who mattered to me, they knew and they’re cool. Those who aren’t they simply do not need to know, why would that bother them? My family. I didn’t tell them. They’ve loved me my whole life; to have parents who tell you how much they love you and support you every day, well, mostly, i’m not ready just yet. I will tell them, until i’m ready, it’s a spiritual process and that gonna take some time. Understand that coming out should be done in the most comfortable moment especially for yourself. You don’t think it’s hard for me… When they talk about grandchildren, i probably can never get them a couple or even one, genetically. Not for them only, i’d like to be a dad too. Probably because of my parents, i’m kind of looking forward to parenthood. I love them all my heart.

Until everything is stable, you gonna find the right person and you’ll be happily married with couple of kids, at the most accepting and comfortable neighborhood. Until then, hang in there, love yourself and get through it, and your future is in your grasp. If i can, why can’t you?”

photo by Bryan

A Note from Patrick, in Berlin…

“Hello there,

I was born and raised in a small town in Bavaria as a American/German half-breed. As long as I can remember I thought about man. I was born gay. I don’t know anything else.

Of course there where times I felt left out or even hated. I never had an official coming out. I choose to do so, not because I am in the closet, because I don’t think everyone should ever has to explain their sexuality or preferences. I never had a hetero man introduce himself as hetero….

This projects reaches my heart because it brings gay life closer to those who think in stereo-types. It show apartments filled with love, art and partners devoted to each other. It tells that we are struggling to survive, to have a good job, to go on vacation and to share our happiness with those who are important to us.

Times change and the life concept of a lot of people doesn’t include a house, a baby or marriage but this doesn’t mean that it is easier. It is a search for individuality, hope and freedom.

” I hope for the day, when we not just accept our diversity but celebrate them together”

Yours sincerely from Berlin”