Author Archives: thegaymenproject

About thegaymenproject

The Gay Men Project is a photo project by New York based photographer Kevin Truong. Truong received his BFA in from photography from the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, NY, and has been the recipient of numerous awards, and his photo credits include the New York Times.

Chris, Teacher/Labor Advocate, Phoenix, Arizona

photo by Kevin Truong

Chris, in his own words: “Being gay to me means simply that I am open to an emotional and physical relationship with someone of the same gender as me. It also means that I choose to live that life openly and publicly in all facets of my life.

I have been very gifted to have a family that loves me for me, and that includes my being gay. This reality was never an issue for them and it is a testament to the genuine and authentic love that we share as a family. My friends and especially my work colleagues have always appreciated my forthrightness and honesty though it has never been “my burning issue.” My burning issue is Public Education and the support of it and that includes supporting LGBTQ youth as they travel on their evolving journey.

The gay community (in Phoenix) is very diverse and spread out but it also reflects the larger social community of Phoenix and its surrounding areas. The expansive spread of the Valley (thats how we refer to the area of Phoenix) causes there to be a lack of community feel at times like other older American cities. The challenge comes in making sure that we can come together over issues that affect us all as gays and not allowing those looking to bifurcate us as a way to keep us suppressed.

I was convinced for many years (pre-teen and teen) that the feelings I was having were a phase or something that I could compartmentalize. I dated girls and women, but always saw my sexuality as something that I could turn on or off. It wasn’t until I realized that there was a very supportive and vibrant community in Chicago (where I lived until 28) and that I did seek to have more than a physical bond with a man, that I chose to come out at 23. I think one needs to come out to oneself before they come out to others, something others need to realize is that the coming out process is personal first, and public second.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Chris, you did things correctly and the way they should have occurred for you. I am not sure I would advise differently, since I cannot change the past, but in hindsight, I’m quite proud of the path my life has taken, and I not about to start to eulogize myself! :)”

Thach, Wardrobe Stylist, Ho Chi Minh City

photo by Kevin Truong

Thach, in his own words: “When I was 18, I told my Mom that I was gay. Both of us cried a lot. She was worried that I had been affected by my gay friends and she wanted me to go to see doctors. I explained to her that I was not sick, it was just who I am. After calming down, she said she could not force me to be someone else and told me to become a good man and make my family proud.

After that, facing my Mom was a challenge to me and it took quite some time to normalize the conversations between me and my family members. Having support from family is the greatest thing to me and it’s not easy for other people to have that.

My family and my life are important to me now. I don’t pay attention to what people say and think about my sexuality. I just live and work well to make my family proud of me as I promised. And I have never regretted or never blamed myself for being gay. I even think that is a gift affectionately granted to me by God.”

A Note From Andre, in Toronto…

“I’m André and I’m a 23 years old Brazilian chubby guy. Being gay for me, as with most of the people, wasn’t so easy. I have always knew that I was gay but as my family was always super poor, we used to live in the “favelas” where the discrimination is way more stronger because of their lack of knowledge. I always thought that I had an extremely happy and acceptable life, well, I have never got beaten or mistreated by anyone; However, while I was remembering my life history I concluded that that’s not the truth. I was miserable because I tried to hide myself 24/7, and living a lie makes you lose thousands of unique memories and denies your own happiness.

Until my last year of high school back in Brazil I pretended that I wasn’t gay, yet I have never said that I was straight either to anyone. But then one day I decided to tell a friend and three months later to my mother. It obviously wasn’t easy for her and she got the weirdest reaction ever (in the next day she told all her friends and neighbors, it was so embarrassing). After that I became happier, I became more confident, unfortunately I am still shy for most of the things lol.

After this event, I felt that I could do everything I wanted, I could express myself freely without fear of my parents discovering. I think that after living this lie for so long God (or the universe , or any spiritual leader that that people believe in)brought into my life a succession of good stuff. I got accepted in the Federal University, which was a source of pride to my poor family that couldn’t give me a high quality education, and of course wouldn’t have enough money to pay the college tuition . Afterwards, I got an internship in a multinational oil and gas company that was considered impossible to most of my friends. Meanwhile I learned how to see love beyond any stereotype, I loved a super skinny guy, and positive, and one that looks more bottom than me LMAO. In this flashback through my life I noticed that after I became out, even the way I smiled became different. I realized that my old way to smile had never seemed truly happy. I think what I am trying to say is that I AM PROUD TO BE GAY.

I got an good life with all my true friends, I got the internship of my dreams, my parents were happy because I have a good quality education sponsored by the government, and a short time ago the Brazilian government offered to continue my high education in any part of the world for two years. And now here I’m in Toronto – Canada representing my country, traveling around the world, living by my own in a totally different place, and learning a whole new language for free. That’s why you are probably finding a bunch of English mistakes in my text (I am still learning, okay?). Well, I am still a student but my next step is to finish this study program that I am in, so finally I can give something good back to my family that is still in the reality that I left.

In conclusion, I realized that life can be good if you are good with yourself in the first place.”