Author Archives: thegaymenproject

About thegaymenproject

The Gay Men Project is a photo project by New York based photographer Kevin Truong. Truong received his BFA in from photography from the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, NY, and has been the recipient of numerous awards, and his photo credits include the New York Times.

Jaime, Councilman, Santiago, Chile

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong


photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Jaime, in his own words: “Ser gay es, a la vez, una forma de vivir mis afectos y una causa política.
Vivo mis afectos con quien quiero vivirlos y en esto me declaro un afortunado. Soy del pequeño porcentaje de chilenos que puede tomar la mano a su pareja en la calle, o que puede compartir una reunión con familiares o amigos sin tener que ocultar la propia esencia. Lamentablemente la vivencia de un homosexual en Chile no sólo tiene que ver con orientación, sino que también con el segmento socioeconómico al que pertenece. Ser gay y pobre en Latinoamérica es doblar la discriminación de la que eres sujeto, lo que te deja en una posición de vulnerabilidad absoluta por razones que no necesito explicar.

En tanto causa política, el activismo LGBTI ha sido mi gran motor de vida en los últimos años. Esto que me pasa a mí, creo, le está pasando a muchos, ya que las voces que defienden esta causa se han multiplicado, así como las tribunas dispuestas para ello. Yo hablo desde la política, pero otros –cada vez más- lo hacen desde la academia, las artes, la ciencia, la educación, por nombrar sólo algunos. Hoy se está haciendo activismo en el día a día: el joven que lucha por convencer a su abuela de que lo nuestro son derechos es, en algún sentido, también un activista. Suelo hablar de microactivismo y pienso que, multiplicado por miles, será el que permitirá cambiar definitivamente la cultura.

No creo que haya una comunidad LGBT. Prefiero hablar de población, pues la “comunidad” supone intereses o necesidades comunes que, en el caso LGBTI, están algo desdibujadas. En Chile, por ejemplo, el modelo perverso de estratificación social existe, también, para nuestra población, lo que distancia a los gais ricos de los más pobres. Así como hay quienes detestan la idea de matrimonio igualitario y sólo quieren uniones civiles, también hay homosexuales lesbo o transfóbicos; existen quienes gustan del gueto y otros que no, etc . Por lo mismo, identificar una comunidad se transforma en una difícil operación del intelecto. En este sentido, la diversidad opera hasta en sus acepciones más negativas cuando se trata de Latinoamérica.

He salido del clóset muchas veces. Primero lo hice con mis hermanos, quienes me lo preguntaron a los 18 años; luego con mis padres, a los 20; con mis amigos, a los 21; y con la sociedad completa, a mis 33, cuando publiqué un intercambio de emails sobre matrimonio igualitario con mi sobrino en la revista más leída de Chile, The Clinic. Creo que lo que hice a mis veinte fue el entrenamiento para lo que habría de venir. En esa década aprendí a monitorear quiénes serían comprensivos con mi realidad y a construir un discurso de autoafirmación y de autovalidación. Lo que sembré hace 15 años hoy lo estoy cosechando como activista.

Mi recomendación es: si puede salir del clóset, hágalo. Si siente que puede manejar la situación, no lo dude; ganará usted y ganaran quienes lo quieren o respetan. Pero si cree que la situación no es propicia para hacerlo, espere un buen momento y no permita críticas en este sentido. Como decimos en Chile: “cada cual sabe dónde le aprieta el zapato”

In English:

“Being gay is, at the same time, a way to live my feelings, and a political cause.

I live my feelings with whomever I want, and so, I declare myself a very lucky man. I belong to the small percentage of Chileans that can grab their partner’s hand on the street, or can share a family or friend reunion without hiding my own essence. Unfortunately, the way a homosexual man lives and is treated in Chile doesn’t only concern orientation, but the socioeconomic environment he belongs to; being gay and poor in Latin America enhances discrimination, which leaves a gay man in an absolutely vulnerable position, for reasons I do not have to explain.

As a political cause, LGBTQ activism has been, in recent years, the great engine of my life. What’s happening to me, I believe, is happening to many more, because the voices supporting this cause have multiplied, just as the public spaces to do so. I speak from policy, but others -to an increasing extent- speak from academia, the arts, and science. Activism lives every day through our actions. The young man who argues with his grandmother about our rights, is also an activist. I usually talk about micro-activism, and I think, multiplied by thousands, it’ll be the one that will allow our culture to definitely change.

I don’t think there is an LGBTQ community in Santiago. I’d rather say population, because “community” supposes interest and joined necessities, which in the LGBTQ case, are not very clear. In Chile, for example, the perverse model of social stratification exists for the LGBTQ population, which broadens the gap between rich and poor gay men. In the same way, there are people in our community who detest the idea of marriage equality, and only want civil unions; there are also homosexuals who discriminate against lesbians or transgender people; there are some who love the ghetto, and others who don’t. Therefore, identifying a community becomes a difficult intellectual task. In this regard, diversity in Latin America operates even in its more negative senses.

I’ve came out of the closet many times. First with my brothers, who asked me at 18; then with my parents at 20; with my friends at 21; and with the rest of society at 33, when I published an exchange of e-mails with my nephew about marriage equality,on the most read magazine in Chile, The Clinic. I think what I did at 20’s was my training for the things to come. In that decade I learned to identify who would be comprehensive with my reality, and to create a speech of self-affirmation and self-validation. What I sowed 15 years ago, I am now harvesting as an activist.

My advice to young people is: If you can go out of the closet, do it. If you feel you can handle the situation, don’t doubt yourself; you and the people who love and respect you, will win at the end. But if you think the situation is far from ideal, wait for some time, and don’t allow criticism about it. Like we say in Chile: “Everyone knows where the shoe tightens.”

Terrell, Account Management, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Terrell, in his own words: “As a young adult constantly trying to find myself in today’s world, being gay can feel like a proverbial layer of fat that is indefinitely hard to chew. The changing social landscape of the globe has made this defining characteristic less of a burden and more of a mark of resilience and compassion. Now as I continue to construct my own gay identity, I wear my homosexuality as a red badge of courage; hoping that my own personality and experiences will help to change and shape the collective perception of gay men.

The biggest challenge that I’ve had to face (and am continually facing) is building and maintaining my own self-worth within the gay community. Gay men (perhaps even more than straight women) face a slew of expectations regarding looks, body image, and lifestyle. As someone who has already struggled with these issues in the past, I have found my acceptance of myself into the gay community has only exacerbated these concerns. In short my biggest obstacle currently is to love myself, get over myself, and finally let go to let the love in.

I don’t have much of a coming out story to illustrate. The friends came first, the family (reluctantly) second and both experiences were overwhelmingly positive. As a bit of advice, I wish I had come out much sooner. I believe that waiting to come out did strip me of some of the emotional experiences that you miss out on when you’re not true to yourself. Above everything, I know that coming out has made me feel and act like a better person. At the end of the day, what’s more important than that?”

Tyler, Acrobat/Circus Teacher, Vashon Island, Washington

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin T ruong

photo by Kevin T ruong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Tyler, in his own words: “Being gay has meant very different things to me in different stages of life. When I was young it meant deep shame and pain–I thought my attraction to guys was a curse. It meant feeling different. Being gay meant severing my sexuality and desire in ways that later took years of undoing. It meant many years of hiding a very basic human part of me.

Now, after numerous years and a lot of good (and hard) therapy, I can wholeheartedly say that it is a gift (that said, I don’t always feel it is easy). Being gay–being different–is an opportunity to expand humankind’s imagination of desire and of what love can be and do. This truly is Good news. For me, being gay has been an invitation to take a deep and difficult look into my own life and story, and I feel grateful for that.

My coming out was a slow process. Although I didn’t have language or even a context for what being gay was when I was young, I was aware of my difference quite early on. When I was 19 years old I called my immediate family together and told them that I was attracted to men. The home and environment that I grew up in was a very conservative Christian one and so at that time in my life I was very much not okay with the idea of being gay. I told them that I was never going to date a guy and that I wasn’t relationally attracted to men, which at the time I entirely believed myself.

After college I began to realize that I really needed to address my sexuality and I began to wonder if sexuality was indeed a gift from God–even for me–as I had been told it was for everyone else growing up.
I began dating men when I was 25, and it wasn’t until 28 that I officially came out to myself and to my parents.

I think the biggest challenge and greatest success are one in the same–the process (and ever-ongoing process of) accepting the many and interconnected parts of myself. The work of undoing; taking down the walls of the closet that I built around myself to protect me from a world that could not bless my difference.

I’ve often wondered about what advice I’d give to my younger self, and whether I’d be receptive to it or not….but I think I would say, “Be kind to yourself, Tydo.”