Mariano, in his own word:

“Puedo decir que ser gay es ser quien soy, ya que para mi la sexualidad atraviesa toda la vida de los individuos. Ser gay también es ser político, ya que la visibilización de mi orientación sexual es la mejor herramienta para cambiar la sociedad en la que vivo para que ésta sea mas plural, progresista, justa e igualitaria.

Creo que uno de los desafíos mas grande que tuve en mi vida fue darme cuenta que no podía cambiar mi orientación sexual y que entablar una relación con una mujer no iba a ayudar a borrar mi deseo por los hombres. Otro desafío también fue aceptar que puedo llegar a formar una familia con una persona de mi mismo sexo y ser feliz.

Tenía 18 años y hacía unos meses me había mudado a Buenos Aires desde el sur de Argentina, Santa Cruz. Toda mi infancia y adolescencia se desarrollo en una ciudad pequeña con “alma” de pueblo, cuya sociedad conservadora hacia del “que dirán” un evento social.

Vivir solo, tener nuevas experiencias, conocer otra gente y ser anónimo me ayudaron a descubrir quien realmente era. Un día conocí a un chico que me demostró que el amor entre hombres era posible. El tiempo paso y construimos una relación, pero por el contrario me sumergió a un mundo de mentiras y ocultamiento para con mis amigos y mi familia, el conocido “closet” o “armario”. Mi relación se circunscribía a las 4 paredes de mi casa, fuera de ella yo era un hombre heterosexual.

El tiempo paso, la relación se afianzo y de a poco empece a introducir a mi pareja en mis charlas con mi madre, era un “amigo” que cada día mas tenía mas protagonismo. Todas las historias y las aventuras nos tenía como protagonistas a ambos y de a poco mis señales despertaron la curiosidad y la pregunta del lado de mi madre: ¿A quien extrañas tanto? ¿Tomás es tu novio?. El tiempo se detuvo y el silencio fue eterno. De mi lado solo había lagrimas y tal vez el peso de la responsabilidad de tener una familia y ser hijo único.

Puedo decir que con mi madre pasamos muchas etapas: miles de preguntas, preguntas retóricas de su parte, culpas y llegamos de a poco llegamos a la aceptación plena.

Para concluir les dejo una frase que me dijo mi madre: “Uno como padre siempre intenta aliviar el sufrimiento de los hijos y lo que mas me duele es que, al vos tener una orientación sexual distinta a la de la mayoría, hay muchas situaciones en la sociedad que yo no voy a poder evitar.

La comunidad LGBT en Buenos Aires es ejemplificadora para Latino América y para el resto del mundo. En los últimos 10 años y gracias a la organización y la militancia de muchos y muchas que le pusieron el cuerpo a la lucha se consiguieron dos leyes fundamentales para nuestro colectivo: la Ley de Matrimonio Igualitario y la Ley de Identidad de Género. A su vez esta comunidad es diversa en su diversidad: existen como en toda sociedad quienes luchan por conseguir y reivindicar derechos y quienes tan solo los disfrutan. Lo bueno es que cada vez mas gente se une al primer grupo.”

In English:

“I can say that being gay is being who I am, because for my sex life spans my individual life. Being gay is also being political, as the visibility of my sexual orientation is the best tool to change the society in which I live for it to be more plural, progressive, just and egalitarian.

I think one of the biggest challenges I had in my life was realizing that I could not change my sexual orientation and that establishing a relationship with a woman would not help erase my desire for men. Another challenge was also to accept that I get to start a family with a same sex couple and be happy.

I was 18 and a few months I had moved out to Buenos Aires from a southern Argentina province, Santa Cruz. My entire childhood and adolescence was development in a small city with village “soul”, whose conservative society made news out of “gossip”.

Living alone, having new experiences, meet new people and being anonymous helped me discover who I really was. One day I met a guy who showed me that love between men was possible. Time passed and we built a relationship, but instead I plunged into a world of lies and concealment for my friends and my family, the famous “closet”. My relationship was limited to the four walls of my house, outside I was a heterosexual man.

Time passed, the relationship was strengthened and slowly I started to introduce my partner in my talks with my mother, he was a “friend” who every day got more prominence. All stories and adventures starring had us both and slowly my signs aroused curiosity and questions from my mother’s side: Who do you miss so much? Is Thomas your boyfriend ?. Time stopped and silence was eternal. From my side there were only tears and perhaps the weight of the responsibility of building a family and being an only child.

I can say that my mother passed many stages: thousands of questions, rhetorical questions, she blamed herself and slowly got to full acceptance.

In conclude I would like to repeat a phrase my mother told me: “Parents always try to avoid the suffering of their children and what really hurts me is that as you have a sexual orientation different from straights, there are many situations that I will not be able to avoid from society.

The LGBT community in Buenos Aires is exemplifying for Latin America and the rest of the world. In the last 10 years and thanked to the organization and advocacy of many and many who place their body to fight two fundamental laws for our movement were achieved: Equal Marriage and the Gender Identity Law. In turn, this community is diverse in its diversity: as in every society there are two groups: one who struggle for rights and the other that just enjoy them. The good news is that more and more people are joining the first group.”

Xolani, in their own words:

“I’m Xolani Mvula, born in the peri rural area of the wine lands in Capetown. I was born 1980 and had very little knowledge about my own sexuality. Time had come and passed and I did not see any one who was like me, that bored me sometimes and I even questioned myself asking if this was for real. In time I saw that I’m not the only one even though the others did not understand what was happening with them. With very little knowledge we continued about being gay and the life continued. Through times I realized that being gay is beautiful and gorgeous.

I had the most caring family that any gay person could ask for and in my time I obtained my qualification as a bookkeeper but that never stopped me from being gay. Today I spent my life working at the foundation as a community outreach worker. This enhanced my level of opportunity of engaging with people and sharing my own knowledge.

I came out of the closet when I was very young nevertheless did I know at that time I was coming out. There was guy who used to like taking me out and one day he proposed and I fell for him. So he kept on taking me out for almost a year up until the day when he asked me to sleep over. No one at home was aware and I just passed my grade 12. I decided to sleep over, and in the morning the drama started.

Being gay in Capetown is the most humble province ever, where the LGBT group is being tolerated.

(Advice I’d give to my younger self) The most valuable information is knowing your rights and do not allow anyone to take that for granted. Be informed and be educated because it is the best possible weapon that you could have.”

Josef, in his own words:

“From early childhood I knew I liked boys more then girls. For me personally it was absolutely normal. The only trouble was to deal with people around me. I grew up in 80’s and 90’s in eastern Slovakia and I had so little information about what it meant to be gay. But I never wanted to change it, I felt special.

I think my whole life is a challenge. I was always very interested in art. When I was 26 I started to study photography at the University. I finished my Master degree with a very personal queer music project Mušnula. You can check it on youtube. I think is very important to express the queer side of my personality. The funny thing is that I am also a yoga instructor. And I am very conservative about yoga. That’s good balance.

I came to my mother the night before I left my parents flat. I was 20 and decided to move to another city to live with my boyfriend. I think my mother was sad not because I told her I was gay, but because I left home. We always had a very strong relationship.

My partner was director of a queer film festival in Prague for 4 years. So we are a part of queer community here. But I am not a party person, I do not drink alcohol and I don’t visit gay clubs or bars. So I really don’t know. I think I know more about yoga community.

I try not to look back. But I am 35 now and sometimes I feel I would like to have more friends. During my life I had just a few really strong friendships. Many of them do not last until today. And I think it is my fault. I don’t know if I can change it. Maybe it’s too late.”