Monthly Archives: March 2018

Ryan and Hunter, Raleigh, North Carolina

photo by Kevin Truong

Photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Hunter, in his own words:“My name is Hunter. I am a 22 year-old native of North Carolina currently living at Lake Tahoe in Nevada. I came out of the closet Valentines day of last year. My journey out of the closet and becoming who I am today is one I am proud to share; however, finding the love of my life is why I am emailing you today.

I met Ryan mid-august of 2013 in Raleigh, NC via OkCupid. Both of us were definite “haters” of online dating but participated due to deviant peer pressure of friends. I was on the verge of deleting my account since I had plans to move to Nevada in a week but one night Ryan messaged me asking to hang out. Ryan had just moved to Raleigh from Clemson, SC and was looking for someone to casually hang out with and show him the city. Thinking this was a harmless commitment, I said yes! It was a night of random story sharing and me serving as an obnoxious city tour guide. I felt a connection.

We parted ways with a kiss I wanted to last forever but knew had no future. That was it, so i thought. I went back home, packed my belongings and hit the road to Nevada. Each day away from him I could not help but dream about how wonderful of a guy he was. We maintained communication throughout my trip and settling in, both knowing we were avoiding the reality that we would never see each other again. A month went by and we only grew closer. Every night we would talk or skype just because. I knew I liked him and he the same but we were both denying any form of relationship. Mid-september I made up an excuse to return to Raleigh to “catch-up with friends” and he and I can hang out. I booked my flight and headed east. I landed in Raleigh and there he was, standing at baggage claim waiting for me. I knew from his smile and our embrace that this was more then a friendship. The brief visit seemed like a lifetime of bliss. The whole time I had this feeling inside that I had not felt before and too confused to talk about it. Love.

Standing before security, back at the airport, we stared in to each others eyes, both full of tears, knowing exactly how momentous the visit was and how much we truly cared for each other. We had both found love for the first time.

Ever since that September visit we see each other once a month for an extended weekend in a place of our choice ( San Diego on March 14th!!). We are 2700 miles a part for now but every day, every hour, every minute I’m with him, I know I have found love. Ryan is the love of my life and I want to share our story for all to hear and understand that it does exists no matter how shitty things are. I am planning to move back to Raleigh and back to Ryan for I will do anything to be in his arms and see his face every day for the rest of my life.

Thank you for all you are doing Kevin. Your story and project inspires me. I would love to be a part of your project if you are looking for participants.

Stay strong.”

Marc, Photographer, Berlin, Germany

photo by Kevin Truong

Marc, in his own words: “Whilst being gay certainly had an influence on my personality during my formative years, at this stage, being gay simply means that I am attracted to men, full stop ! (I could not possibly tell who I would have become, if I had been straight)

(With regards to challenges and successes) Ask me at my deathbed; life is fraught with challenges, failures and successes and I like it that way. Which ones really stand out in the end, it is too early to tell, hopefully.

(My coming out story) Lots of panic, anxiety & self-questioning. In the end, it all went well with those people who matter in my life.

(The gay community in Berlin) is rather lively… with lots of subcultures within the gay scene itself. Admittedly, I am not much into any of them.

(Advice to my younger self) Do the same all over again.”

Kelvin, Columbus, Ohio

photo by Kevin Truong

Kelvin, in his own words: “When I look at my coming out process I have to honestly say I’m blessed to have the circle of love that I have. I came out to my siblings when I was 19. Both my Mommy and Mom (foster mom) went through the discovery of my sexual identity with me. Although it wasn’t easy for Mom and I it certainly made our relationship stronger. When I told my little brother 4 years younger than me he was convinced that I was joking with him. By the end of our conversation he told me that he now had a different perspective on what it meant to be gay since now he knew he had a gay brother. The clown in the bunch, my baby sister, had my favorite reaction. She looked me dead in the face and said “ok…and? you want a cookie or something?!” You can’t help but to love that girl! She always keeps the bunch laughing. My big sister seemed so unfazed. As far as she was concerned people were coming out the closet left and right. I was no different. I surprisingly never personally came out to my baby brother, but I’m sure by now he’s figured things out! I was afraid that living in my truth would tear me from the bond I shared with my siblings, but instead it verified the strength of our love for one another.

Once I came out to my siblings I thought my work was done. I would soon realize that if I wanted to live a life equal to that of my siblings then I would have to give voices to the injustices suffered by the lgbt community. The coming out process is never finished only started! After a Day of Silence event held at Ohio University I came out on facebook. Then came one of my first major challenges, my father’s side of the family. Two awkard phone calls were quickly followed by the fear that I may have been outed to my father. Thus setting the stage for me to come out to him months later. It didn’t go well. It was the first time I had really received negative reaction to my coming out and the topic quickly became the elephant in the room when ever I was around my father’s side of the family. Through out that whole process with my father’s side of the family not once did anyone say to me “I don’t care that your gay I still love you” not even my own father. Sadly I think it’s the underlying reason that with them I stay so distant.

Needless to say the negative reaction pushed me even harder to be vocal about lgbt issues. This passion led me to become a student leader. I co-founded a chapter of a lgbt organization for students of color called SHADES at the largest public university in the country The Ohio State University. Hands down the best thing I’ve done yet with my life as the chapter is still standing. Through my experience I learned not only how to find my voice as a leader but also as a black gay man. That in it’s self has it’s own special challenges, especially when it comes to dating. One big lesson I quickly learned is acceptance in difference. How could I possibly expect someone to accept my difference if I couldn’t accept theirs? I also learned the understanding of processes. I had to go through a process of accepting my sexual identity and I must afford others that same right to process. In cooperating with others it’s important to agree to disagree because not everyone will be on your exact page all the time. This does not mean their not in the same chapter! In closing I would like to give one of my biggest and currently practiced lessons, knowing when to sit down. There will always be something to shout about, something to get angry about, something to cry over. All of this can be very draining and it’s not your job to take on the world. Stay in tuned to your spirit and know when it’s your time to take a break from it all and just do you. I promise you when ever your ready there will be so many issues to give your voice to upon your return! “

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Monthly Archives: March 2018

Ryan and Hunter, Raleigh, North Carolina

Marc, Photographer, Berlin, Germany

Kelvin, Columbus, Ohio