For a long time, I resented being a gay man in this generation. When I first started learning about the gay culture in the 60’s and the 70’s, I felt incredibly out of place. I felt like I had missed out on the “gay golden years”, missed out on the sexual revolution, the riots… I mean it was the height of the gay liberation movement, and it felt like I had missed out on an important experience as a gay activist. I wanted to be there leading the march, fighting the police, cruising the west side piers…. Then one day, I was having this conversation with a good friend of mine, and she reminded me that despite how meaningful and glorious I think those years might have been, I have to remember that it was incredibly difficult being a gay man, far more than it is today. She reminded me that those men fought for my rights, fought hard so that one day people like me didn’t have to go through what they had to go through. Larry Kramer’s story wasn’t a play back then, it was reality. So sure, there are parts of gay culture that I wish I could’ve experienced, and that’s a shame, but some of it… we shouldn’t ever have to see again. And for that, I am grateful. The fight is far from being over, but the history that we get to write today is far less painful than it was 40 years ago. A lot of it is actually quite beautiful.

The biggest challenge was growing up in rural Minnesota. The amount of ignorance that I’ve encountered in my life is crippling. People fear what they don’t understand, and I was something that Hutchinson, MN could not wrap their minds around.

The gay community in New York is scary. I can’t walk down the street without seeing a buff dude strutting his perfectly toned body with his perfectly toned boyfriend. When I first moved here I was worried that it took the washboard abs to thrive as a gay man in New York City, but I’m beginning to realize that even if it’s true I just don’t care. I really love myself at this current juncture of my life.

I don’t really have a coming out story. I never struggled with my sexuality. I’ve always known I was gay even before I knew what being gay was. Although, I do remember when I was little I was playing video games with my mom’s boyfriend, and I told her I was going to marry Captain America, and she responded “Yes you are baby!”. That’s probably the earliest conversation I had with my mom about my sexuality!

It used to be a challenge to socialize in gay scenes because I was not 21 yet. Now that I’m 21 that challenge is over!

I first came out through a very close friend at the time, during my senior year of high school. She made me feel comfortable to explore my sexuality.

I don’t have much expertise in the gay culture of NYC. I’m just now beginning to live in it as a 21 year old. What I can say though is everyone wants to feel free and comfortable living their lives socially, just as any straight person.