“I’m a pretty lucky guy. I have a great family, awesome friends, and beautiful landscape all around me. But even with all that, I had to grow into loving myself and loving the world around me.
I was born and raised as a “mormon”, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS). I holistically believed that being gay was a sin and that something was deeply wrong with me. I remember crying in the shower before school quite often and asking God why he would give me an insurmountable curse. Though I put on a smile, inside I was drowning. I hated who I was. I couldn’t even stand to be around gay people – they made me “uncomfortable”.
I finally decided that, no matter what, I had to choose to love myself. Every single part of myself and that made me reevaluate my faith. Having a sense of self-confidence, I have been able to look at the world around me with new eyes. I feel clear, I guess. I can be totally honest with others, reserve judgement, and keep an open mind.
After all this, I can finally say that I’m proud to be a gay man. I’m proud of our community and I’m proud of where we’re going.
Living in Salt Lake City has helped me to understand just how grateful I am for the support I have received from my LDS friends and family. No matter our differences, I believe people can always get along with patience, unconditional love, and an honest intent to understand.”
photo by Karson
Being Mormon in Utah must be different..Being Mormon in Ohio not the same..I only was able to see after not attending this Homophobic Church for awhile..now pending my name being removed from the records of the church..Mormon and Gay does not go together!
This may come as a shock but this is a true story — more than a decade a go, in an LDS church, everyone was handed a piece of paper, (including me), on it a note, that basically said be kind and courteous to everyone including gay and lesbian people.
You are a brave and inspiring young man. No doubt your story will help someone going through the same. I hope your LDS friends continue to support and love you. I had problems with my Catholic friends but I decided my happiness was much more important. I found that I don’t have to be a member of an organized religion to know Jesus Christ and have undying faith. Continued success and happiness for you.
You are so great. I always knew this was a struggle within you, but I didn’t know what the root of it was. Anything that makes you happy and doesn’t hurt others, I will back you till the end. Glad to see your real smile 🙂
Very courageous process, Karson. From here (France) problems of relationship you have in US between different Churches and gays seem a little bit incredible, because the place of religion in social life is much less important here than in the States. And fundamentalists are very few, too. God is Love. And Love doesn’t take care of who you love. So, go on, love, and be happy !
(Sorry for my english)
as a “Mormon” Mom of two gays sons I love that you have finally love yourself. Everyone deserves to be comfortable in their own skin.
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