“I was raised a real country boy; I learned how to drive a tractor before a car! I always knew I was gay; not all 12 year old boys imagine they’re Judy Garland performing “Over the Rainbow” as the lovable hobo during her Carnegie Hall performance! It wasn’t easy growing up for me; I was called a “faggot”, I had rocks thrown at me, I was pushed into lockers and I hated myself. I never thought I would be able to happy; I thought that being gay was a curse. I have a very supportive family; they loved me before I came out and after. Not all gay boys’ redneck-gun-toting-nascar-football-enthusiast accepts them after they admit the like boys. I survived high school and moved on to college. I had all but given up on finding a relationship; that was until freshman orientation.
I’m not a believer in love at first sight; but, when I turned around at a boring informational meeting I saw him. He smiled at me and that was it. After the meeting I ran back to my dorm room and found him on Myspace, it used to be a thing, his name is Josh! I got his instant messenger and was just about the message him; when he beat me to the punch. From that moment we were inseparable. The four years flew by. We finished school and moved to the city. To live the life I thought I wanted. We quickly found out that graduating with a bachelor’s degree during an economical repression was not easy. We began fighting; and grew apart. I thought moving back to Greenville would solve our problems and it did, for a little bit. Life after college still proved to be hard; we jumped from job to job and then the lying and the cheating started.
The constant lying and dodging had come to a halt when we had to finally admit that we weren’t happy. We broke up; I tried dating, but every guy I met for coffee, dinner, or terrible Channing Tatum movie couldn’t compare to Josh.
On January 10, 2013 I realized just how much Josh meant to me. I got the phone call that changed everything. Josh’s smart car was struck from the right side when a semi-truck failed to stop at a red light. He was in a coma for 18 days; I sat by his side every night. I waited for him to wake up-all I wanted to see were those bright blue eyes and that smile that I had fallen in love with. Life had come to a halt as I waited. Friends and family rallied together to give me support. When he first woke up; I was getting ready to leave for the night. I told him good night and that I loved him; his eyes shot opened, he grabbed my hand and mouthed “I love you”. It was love at second sight; I knew that we what we had and what we have is real love. For three months our lives became an endless cycle of doctors, hospitals, and rehabs. Josh finally came home in March and is making a full recovery.
Our lives are slowly settling back into some semblance of normalcy. We are planning on getting married next year. Our lives will never be the same; there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about the accident and how lucky I am to still have the love of my life. I also now realize how important our fight is; when I first arrived at the hospital I was almost denied from seeing Josh; they barely gave me information and his parents had talked about moving him back home. These are things that devastate me still.
I can’t wait to marry Josh; the love of my life. This is just the beginning of our story; I can’t wait to where it takes us.”
photo by Alan and Josh
photo provided by Alan and Josh
Best of luck to you both!