I came from a poor family. My parents had nothing after 1975. They had to create everything from zero with no support. My mother was a Vietnamese typical woman: work hard; sacrifice her whole life to her children, to her husband and be a faithful wife. My mom had to manage anything in my family without helping from my dad. He made no care on what happen to his children and let them survive by their own ways. I had father but I had no looking after from him. I lived with two older sisters and one youngest sister. Hard living made us stronger and be more responsible for our family. From a weak, timid, reserved boy; I become an open, strong, confident, independent gay boy today.

When I was a teenager, I could recognize something different in my mind but I couldn’t explain what it was. You know, I had no knowledge about LGBT, had no internet, no means of media at that time in order to find out who I was. I had ever felt fearful of being a gay because I always thought that no one looked like me and it was disgusting if someone identified me. Until now, it becomes history and I feel more comfortable, happier when I know that is natural. The life of Vietnamese gay community is better nowadays. Some Vietnamese people have accepted us and consider us as other men. They don’t laugh at or don’t distance us from. Because they know that one of us can be their relative as well. We have club, bar … are only for gay and some organization fight to protect our benefit but they are small. Same-sex marriage in my country is still illegal.

Some gay men here have come out their nature to their family, friends. Some have sympathy and support, some have nothing and they may face to many difficulties for coming out because of their parents. The rest is not open gay. They look like straight and some of them may get married with girl to hide their real sex. To me, coming out is a tough decision. I can’t show this now because I don’t want to let my mom be sad and don’t want to see her cry. She will be extremely shocked if I tell her the truth. Coming out my matter now is a sin. I can’t. If I have a chance to go to another country where same-sex marriage is legal, I may change my mind because I can keep hiding my mom and find a relevant reason to persuade her.

Eastern society is not a place for gay community having a pleasure life as any gay life in Western one. Nowadays, we have Canada, Germany, Belgium, Netherlands, England, Some states of USA, Australia… have accepted LGBT. However, I can’t state a name from Asian countries that accept LGBT as well. I hope one day, Vietnam will turn our dream come true.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” (United States Declaration of Independence)

I have faced with all the mocking things since I was 3 in the kinder garden. Then, I get used to it when I grow up. I am just being myself; I am too big to hide, by the way. I accepted myself quite easily. It’s not a struggle like other normal Asian stories that you may hear about. Unfortunately, I didn’t find it wrong being a gay. I’m too western, my mom said. When you are in a family where all people are American oriented, and you are working in international advertising industries in which gays rule, you’ll find it easy to be accepted.

I remember once when I’ve been to a church, a man had told me: you cannot choose your life plan, as God has already made it. However, you can choose how to finish his plan, your way with his guide. I believe it. So, I exposed myself to everyone. Oh, but not my mom and my family, sorry, because I don’t think they can handle it. However, I found releasing, when my mom talking to me: “what if I give you the money, you go to Thailand and get your gender fixed”.

Accepting is one of the big challenges I can conquer.

I find happy with the current situation. I respect other people finding their true gender with surgery. I just want to finish the plan that God gave me, naturally. It will make no difference if I transform into a girl, or try to be a straight, I think. The grass is always greener on the other side, I think. However, it’s Asia I am living in. There are still some offenses. Coming out is not that easy. 2 of my Ex get married to women, because families wanted them to. But I still think, Ho Chi Minh City is soon a gay heaven after Bangkok.

In the jungle city like mine, Ho Chi Minh City, the changes are equal to gay and non-gay. It’s the mix culture environment where gay is not something so horrible. It’s not abnormal, it’s not special. We get many gay talents here. So the gay life in this city is blooming and interesting. That’s why; I found no reason to keep myself away from the world I belong. Trying denial, you lose the chance to be happy.

And, being gay gives me chance to meet more people, to know more things interestingly. By being gay, I have met my friends, and I have the chance to go to Paris, my dream-come true place. And, I don’t have to deal with marriage headache (lol).