Monthly Archives: April 2013

Kevin, Director of Learning and Development, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

Kevin, in his own words: “The “coming out” story is such a powerful narrative. It is what I can always identify with and connect to in other gay people.

Having been raised in the Christian faith it’s easy for me to draw strong connections between my “coming out” story and my salvation experience. A salvation experience is a defining and pivotal moment in the life of a Christian. It’s a conscious belief in and acceptance of the Son of God. When I “came out” you could say the experience was a similar one. “Coming out” became a part of me. It was another way I might identify and describe myself.

I was 23 when I told my mother I was gay. It happened on a Sunday morning over phone before a weekend shift at a second job. There were tears. I was late for my shift.

For me, “coming out” was much more than an admission to same-sexuality. It was existential. From that place of brokenness and questioning, I believe I chose for the very first time in my life. Not that I necessarily chose to be gay, but that I CHOSE to create meaning for myself from this new place of understanding.

In “coming out” I realized even in the absence of my strong ties to family and friends and an inextricable link to God through faith I STILL AM. At first, I felt alone in this realization. Terribly alone. But then the life I knew began to come back into focus. A new level of consciousness emerged. It was still terrifying but now wonderful too. I am humbled by this transition every day. What am I to make of it? Who am I now to become in light of it?

Undoubtedly, the biggest challenge for me has been the acceptance of myself. I often tell friends when we finally break through the walls of social and political norms and find ourselves more on the inside than on the out our work as gay people will finally begin.

Gay people spend so much energy fighting the fight. It’s essential, yes. But I have a hunch (and this may be me projecting here). Our activism keeps us productively distracted from a deeper level of self-acceptance.

DC is a big small town. I love being able to walk to and from anywhere and spot a friend or acquaintance in passing. DC’s gay community is very much the same way.

There is definitely a conservative vibe that threads the gay community. We like decorum. We like posturing. We strut as gay men do when it’s called for. But get past all that smoke and mirrors and I find there is more in common than not. We are all searching. We are awake, but not quite conscious. We are getting there. Finding our way. And it’s perfect ☺.”

Ryan-Ubuntu, Program Advisor and International Campaigns Officer, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

Ryan, in his own words: “To ME the word gay is just that, a word, a phrase, an identity that distinguishes myself in this current historical climate as having attractions to members of the same sex. (Sex generally being aligned with the sex organ between my legs)

To me, the essence that the word “gay” is meant to describe is so much more. It is my capacity to love, respect and value the life of another human being in the fullest of capacities.(spiritually, psychologically, physically, emotionally, etc) In my world I am as “average” and boring as everyone else and yet this one small fraction of who I am has in the world around me become the centerpiece of which to transfix one’s gaze. It is but one piece of who I am, and yet a central piece to the very essence of my humanity. Through this lens with which I’ve been given to see the world I’ve come to understand that there is a mystery to us that ought to be exposed and set free. That this capacity for love lives in every one of us and is much more than what may meet the eye at initial glance. That the roots of this sentiment and this essence is capable of shaping the entire world, if only the world would not reverberate so much against it. It is my beauty, my truth and in very many ways my destiny. And while it is but one of many identities that make up the fundamental humanity I share with every other person on this planet, I choose to embrace this culturally, historically time-bound identity because it is through this lens that I have been given a vision of the light that may make us all recognize what we are truly capable of. That it is through our capacities as fellow human beings to see the gifts, talents, strengths and flaws of our fellow persons in the deepest and most sincere ways that we can learn to overcome our differences and the intersections of space that so divide us in our current world.

That I as a “gay man”, and we as an entire “LGBTI community”, every one of us, has the capacity to not only sit and be assimilated into today’s world, but rather that we have great gifts to offer the world through our own abilities to have care and concern for our fellow person.
To what end could this concept be applied and to what extent will LGBTI people be able to influence and shape that end?

Thus my identity politic is staking a claim in the struggle to find acceptance in who we ALL are…every single person on this planet…to accept that which we are and what we are capable of as it relates to the love of our fellow human being. Imagine if we entered into every relationship knowing that no one is perfect? Imagine if we entered into every relationship knowing that our partners were fully equal? Imagine if we considered the life of our fellow being worthy of sacrifice, honor and respect that we give to those whom we love? This to me is a great possibility, but only one we can choose to embrace. We must make that choice every hour of every day.

We are the masters of our own destiny, and this is the direction I can see us headed towards. My life has purpose, meaning, worth and dignity. So does every one else’s. Our difference do matter, including my gender and sexual identity, but our common humanity matters more.”

Josh, Choir and Handbells Teacher, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

Josh, in his own words: “To be completely honest I don’t think about (being gay) a lot. I’m just me. I’m an educator. And a musician. And a world traveler. And a thinker. On a broad scale, being gay means being out of the mainstream, which I like. It means living and loving on my own terms.

Over the years I’ve faced a bit of ignorance and unnecessary hostility. While there were some mild bullying issues in middle and high school, the worst homophobia I’ve experienced has been during my teaching career. My first teaching job was in a rough urban school district where I got called a faggot multiple times a week. I taught there for four years.

(Washington D.C. is) Transient. Diverse. Professional (and slightly uptight). Large. Cliquey. Highly educated.

(With regards to my coming out story) I told my favorite cousin and close ally Beth via AOL instant messenger when I was 15. When I went away to college I started telling people—it just automatically became part of who I was in college. That led to telling my mom during Thanksgiving break of my freshman year, but she (totally) knew already. I’m from a very small, socially conservative town in the Midwest. I consider myself extremely lucky to have family members who love and support me.

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Monthly Archives: April 2013

Kevin, Director of Learning and Development, Washington D.C.

Ryan-Ubuntu, Program Advisor and International Campaigns Officer, Washington D.C.

Josh, Choir and Handbells Teacher, Washington D.C.