Tag Archives: washington D.C.

Sheldon, Storyteller, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Sheldon, in his own words: “Being gay means you are given special permission to be your truest self. The challenge was finding those few that you aspire to who share your architecture. Once I found out I shared the design of Baldwin, Rustin, Hughes and other countless greats, I embraced that as a gift. I find DC to be an affirming place, a rare space in this world, where who I am, doesn’t challenge what I do. Coming out started as an internal process. Once you’ve worked yourself through the mire of sexuality, you’ll have the infrastructure to support yourself once you start sharing your genuine self with the world.

Thanks again for this opportunity to share. I am intrigued to hear more of your story sometime too.”

A Note from Keith, in Washington D.C..

“For a while, before I came out, I thought to be gay was to live with a double consciousness. I thought being gay meant being two sides to one coin, never being able to fully realize all of who I am and all of what I have to offer as a multi faceted individual. By day I was everything the world wanted me to be and at night I tried to explore what it really meant to be a gay man in my lifetime.

As an adult, I tried coming out to many people. In 2009 I joined the Army, was preparing to get married and yet screaming on the inside for acceptance and validation. I was looking for someone to say it’s okay, I understand you and who you are. I accept you not just as a gay man but as a human being.

I decided I would come out to my First Sergeant while stationed thousands of miles away from the conservative rhetoric I once knew in America. I was in South Korea, I knew the consequences of coming out, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was still a harsh reality but I couldn’t live with myself any longer. I had to decide if I was going to own my life and face reality or live with a burden that would eventually consume me. I went upstairs to his office, closed the door behind me and I admitted the unspeakable truth, “First Sergeant, I am gay”. An eerie silence filled the room and I knew I was going to be discharged. That’s when my First Sergeant leaned over his desk and said “son, we all have our cross to bear, you’re not gay. You are a talented, gifted, handsome and courageous soldier that everyone loves. We need more soldiers like you in the fight, but you’re not gay”. I felt shameful. His not accepting me as a gay man left me hurt and the fight not only continued outside of me but it raged on the inside of me as well.

I tried coming out to others but it was always the same song. “You don’t want to destroy your life, for all of our sake and yours please stay in the closet. Your our friend, our darling dependable Howard”. I tried to escape that tower many times but it changed from an ivory tower to an iron cage. I was trapped within myself, longing for that acceptance from those around me.

My approach drastically changed after I completed my tour of duty in Iraq. I found a new courage and developed a new way of coming out that I felt would work best for me. Instead of me just telling people I decided I’m going to live my life openly on the world stage as an unapologetic gay man. In 2011 I met my current partner and soon to be husband. He left the Army as well the following year and we moved to Washington, D.C. I flew home to Wisconsin and introduced him to my family and not surprisingly they fell in love with him. My cousin pulled me aside and said “I see the love he has for you in his eyes and it’s marvelously beautiful, it’s gorgeous”. He was a breath of fresh air, he allowed me to be myself, not until I met jay did I know of a partner that wholeheartedly supported me being completely open with the world and with myself. He allowed me to have flaws and not be this perfect image that could fit into this little box. He helped me to see the other side of me and told me it was okay to be a beautiful gay man and an imperfect human being.

I realized there was always going to be a couple hundred or couple hundred thousand with stones and bullets at their fingertips but the beauty of life is being whole and being at one with yourself. Once you have found that oneness your true self, fear becomes obsolete. Everybody is not going to agree with you; the beauty of being in D.C. and our American system which I fought for and continue to fight for is that we all have disagreements. However at the end of the day we should be free to share those disagreements and differences and welcome one another to the table of tolerance, justice, but above all else love.

Here’s what I know for sure, I may not see eye-to-eye with another human being but not supporting your life style should not mean tearing another individual or group down. Everyday I acknowledge the imperfections of the world including those within myself but I also believe in making this imperfect union more perfect a lot stronger and a whole lot more enlightened and open minded without discrimination for the next generation. Our differences is the beautiful fabric of life, it’s good and it feels good to be an unapologetic gay, minority, disabled, decorated Iraq war veteran. I can proudly acknowledge that and it has made all the difference in my life, in all aspects of life, love and success.”

Broderick, Seminarian, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Broderick, in his own words: “Whenever I’m asked when I “came out”, I always wonder, “When am I not coming out?” I wonder this because my own narrative of publicly disclosing my sexual orientation is a process, not an event. I remember being nine years old and asking myself when and how I would tell my parents that I am gay. My fourth grade self could not imagine that it would take twelve years of introspection, conversations, self-discovery, forgiveness, and courage before the day finally came.

As a child and adolescent, I had only one prayer: God, make me straight. I wanted nothing more than to meet a girl, fall in love, have 3.5 children, live in the suburbs, drive a minivan, and own a Sam’s Club card. Over time though, I was confronted with reality of my sexual orientation. The more I resisted it, the more lonely I felt. I wanted to tell other people my “secret”, but I chickened out at the last minute every time. I poured myself into memorizing numerous Bible verses, going to every religious conference I possibly could, and singing louder than everyone else at church. While some people end at “pray away the gay”, I tried to “wash away the gay”. I was baptized four times, with each time proving that no force on heaven or earth could rid me of my unwanted sexual orientation.

In college, I heard a speaker cite a statistic that gay men have an average of forty anonymous sexual partners per year. The speaker’s assertion peaked my curiosity and after just a few minutes of research on Google, I realized the speaker had been misleading. This led me to ask myself whether other things I had heard about gay people were consistent to reality. Somehow, I happened upon the website of gay Christian Bible study group in New York City. I e-mailed the facilitator and asked him if I could Skype in to one of their sessions and he said yes. Sadly, I didn’t go through with my intention. However, I kept that facilitator’s information and contacted him the next summer about the steps I needed to take to begin the process of slowly disclosing to others what I thought I had been hiding for a lifetime.

The next part of the story is a bit fuzzy. Basically, over the next four years – up to this very day – I continued to process of coming out by telling my closest friends and family members. I have been met with nothing but generosity and graciousness. Being an openly gay man is a unique gift. I feel so grateful to live the life that I live, to be loved by friends and family alike, and to be able to follow my passion for church ministry as a student at Virginia Theological Seminary. There is no way my nine year old self could have imagined how tumultuous and at times anguish-filled my life would be. But there’s also no way I could have anticipated the joy of this beautiful journey.”