Tagged: lgbt

Jose, Comic Book Colorist and Chair of Illustration Department, Baltimore

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Jose, in his own words: “Being gay means having an opportunity to look at life from a different angle, sideways if you’d like. Being part of a minority always gives you a view with a unique perspective, and makes you examine many things that others take for granted. It also makes it easier to empathize with other minorities and unpowered people.

Being a gay man of my generation also means to me that I am part of the last to care about what has been called the “Gay Canon”: The places in art and culture where our kind has survived and have reflected their joys and longings through the ages, from Sappho to Michelangelo to Oscar Wilde to Tennessee Williams… With acceptance and tolerance LGTB people are quickly being assimilated into mainstream culture and this “secret knowledge” is getting lost..

I grew up in the turmoil of a changing Spain during the transition from dictatorship to democracy. All my adult life has been in Baltimore. Having only lived in big cities, I have not had as many problems as those living in rural areas. The biggest hurdles for me have been legal: growing up in Spain homosexuality was illegal, and when I arrived in this country it also was illegal (you could not even get a student visa if you were an out gay person). So for many years I was in constant jeopardy of being evicted, fired, arrested or deported.

The gay scene in Baltimore is small but very, very friendly and unpretentious. There are a handful of bars and clubs and everyone is always welcome. We also have a very active LGBT community center with lots of events and groups…

I came out to my friends at 16. In a way, we all came out, since we decided that “everyone was bisexual”… I was out since then to everyone but my mother. I came out to her 20 years later, at 37, after wanting to do it for many years. At first she did not take it well, but now she is part of a support group of parents of LGTB people in Madrid, and, after ten years, has become a leader and example for parents that attend the group.”

Jason, Project Manager, San Francisco

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Jason, in his own words: “Growing up and knowing you’re gay at a young age is tough, especially in a small, close-minded town in Indiana. Early on I knew I wasn’t like the other boys (age 5) and pretty much suppressed those feelings until I escaped to college. For years I thought when I came out I would lose friends and my family would disown me (side note; I was voted most dramatic in 6th grade). To no surprise, my true friends stayed right by my side and my family continues to stand up to ignorant people and will always love me. I guess what i’m getting at is that it really does get better.

Being gay is a very large part of my life. However, I try to not let it take over. I’m like an onion. So many layers.”

Andy and Mark with Their Son Ben, Baltimore

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Andy, in his own words: “We have been together 18 years, or as I like to joke, 10 happy years.

I was in the audience when I first spotted Mark, playing the role of Mother Abbess in a campy version of the Sound of Music. Wearing a habit, Mark brought down the house with his falsetto rendition of “Climb Every Mountain.” “You’ve got to find the life you were born to live.”

I came out late, tragically and comically looking into all kinds of conversion programs before coming to terms with my sexuality while in graduate school at UNC- Chapel Hill. With two gay sisters, Mark came out earlier to himself but to his parents only after meeting me.

In 2001, Mark and I returned from Vietnam with our five month old son, Ben. Shy with adults but popular with his peers, Ben is bright, athletic and an expert on advanced weapons systems. Mark created the coolest back yard in Baltimore for Ben, complete with trampoline, zip line, tree house and water slide. Our house is always filled with the sounds of young boys laughing, having gun battles or discussing the latest Bond film.

My dad moved in last year, adding a third loving generation to the family.”

Reinier, Graphic Designer, Panama City

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Reiner, in his own words: “I used to think being gay, meant about rejections from the people you love, about the body, about parties, about sex and I was really scare about it but now I know that being gay its much bigger than that, it’s about being who you are no matter what, it’s about to loving yourself and always be proud.

Coming out for me was really easy and I’m very lucky I have the must wonderfull mother I can ever ask for, and I thought will be harder then that because I was comparing with my other friends experiences and I told her because I was in a relationship, I was traveling all the time and I was sick of so many lies, so I decided to make her part of my life and was a very emotional momment.

I was really scared and with my brother there to support me and I told her and she was like “so? what you expect me to do? You’re my son I have to love you no matter what” and she started to cry when she was talking, then my brother was crying too, and she hug me and told me “no matter what I will be here for you, because I love you and I am proud of you” and the very next day she was treating me like always just like my brothers, my dad and my friends when I came out with them.

So my story doesn’t have drama or hate and that’s why I feel lucky and proud to be gay. When it’s about to be gay in Panama its kind of hard because there is a lot of gossips and jealousy in this country, that’s why I refuse to let those with dirty feet walk through my mind, and just be happy.”

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Michael, Grade School Teacher, Portland, Ore.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Michael, in his own words:“I’m a small town boy from Eastern Oregon. I grew up in a town surrounded by farm land, deer, barns and rivers in a peaceful valley hours away from any city. I never left my small town until I went to college at the University of Oregon. I ended up getting into Theatre and moved to New York City for a few years after college. It’s hard to define myself because I’ve been know to throw myself into new situations and been able to adapt well. In New York I served celebrities and mafia heads in a high end restaurant in mid town Manhattan. I booked modeling and acting jobs on the side while fulfilling my fantasy of making things happen in NYC. Eventually I missed the trees and returned to Oregon. I define myself as someone who is able to maintain a sense of self in any situation and loves to push my own boundaries.

I’ve evolved quite a bit in the past ten years. I now work with children and have my masters in elementary education. What’s important to me has changed a lot. What’s important to me now is being a part of a community and feeling like what I do gives back to a community that supports and fulfills me. I no longer worry about feeding my own ego like I did in my early 20′s.

Being a gay man to me is much more than helping people accept the fact that I love other men. I feel that that is something that shouldn’t even be questioned. I like that I can present myself as a person who is happy with who he is, no matter what that is. I am comfortable in my own skin. I treat people right and it makes me happy to connect with people on a personal level. I have a hard time finding someone who doesn’t enjoy being around me. I’m happy being who I am and what I’ve done with my life. I think that’s hard to find a fault in. I own my decisions and actions and don’t regret much. If someone doesn’t like me than it’s only because I represent some fault in themselves that they’re insecure about.

My coming out was not nearly as dramatic as most gay men. I came out to my two siblings on my 21st birthday which resulted in a group hug and cheers. My mother’s reaction was simply, “well now we can FINALLY talk about it!” I didn’t come out to my Dad until I brought home a boyfriend when I was 26. He was happy to meet him and they bonded over talking about photography. I’ve always felt that my sexuality is as big of a deal as I make it out to be. I’m incredibly proud to be gay and I would never want any alternative reality. Being gay has brought so many opportunities that I would have never had as a straight man. I’ve met incredible and colorful people from around the world and been able to do things that the average person from La Grande Oregon will never be able to do. Being gay has pushed me to know myself well and to give myself permission to have faults and embrace what makes me an individual.”

Mathieu, Accounting Manager, Paris

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Mathieu, in his own French words: “Pour moi être gay reste avant tout une question d’amour et de sexe, il s’agit de parvenir à vivre ses relations amoureuses le plus profondément et sincèrement possible comme tout à chacun sans se préoccuper des modèles déjà établis. Cette nécessité de rejeter la “norme” car non adaptée à ma réalité m’a permis de développer un réel sentiment de liberté et d’indépendance et m’a rendu à la fois plus fort et plus ouvert.

Je pense qu’être gay ne doit pas être un frein a la construction de sa famille et de son héritage, il nous faut réinventer ce concept et se le réapproprier pour qu’il colle à notre mode de vie. Mais au final, dans les faits, lorsqu’on est gay on appartient quand même a une communauté qu’on le veuille ou non et on finit par adopter certaines de ses habitudes, de ses réflexes, pour au final s’y sentir bien comme dans une vieille paire de chaussons. Par exemple, dans une ville étrangère je suis plus à l’aise dans un bar gay où je vais retrouver certains de mes repères et où j’ai la possibilité d’exprimer complètement qui je suis.

J’ai la chance de n’avoir jamais été confronté au rejet ou a la violence (du moins directement) du au fait de ma préférence sexuelle. L’un de mes moteurs est de vivre ma vie pleinement et honnêtement, je pense que les gens sentent que je n’ai nullement honte de qui je suis et m’accepte donc facilement car il ne s’agit que d’une part infime de ma personnalité. Le seul défi auquel je pourrais éventuellement être confronté à l’avenir est celui d’avoir des enfants et de parvenir à satisfaire à tous leurs besoins. Les choses évoluent (lentement mais surement) en France donc on peut espérer que les conditions seront réunies quand l’envie de créer ma famille se fera sentir.

A Paris la communauté gay est très présente mais également très localisée. Le Marais qui est le quartier gay central de la ville où sont présents la quasi totalité des bars et boîtes attire une grande partie des gays parisiens, il est fréquent de croiser des visages connus, ce qui est rare dans une capitale avec tant d’habitants. Cela donne un endroit très tolérant dans lequel se promener main dans la main avec son copain peut être monnaie courante et où les rencontres sont faciles à faire.

En parlant de “facile à faire”, mon coming out doit être le plus simple du monde, puisque c’est simplement ma mère qui a l’âge de 16 ans m’a annoncé que j’étais gay, qu’elle le savait et que cela ne posait aucun problème. Son seul souhait étant que je puisse vivre ma vie pleinement et partager avec ma famille mes peines et mes joies comme mes frères auraient pu le faire. Je lui suis très reconnaissant de ça car elle m’a aidé a accepter facilement les choses , elle est parvenue a dédramatiser la situation en s’en moquant et et en intégrant rapidement l’ensemble de mes proches. A l’époque lorsqu’elle l’évoqua à toute la fratrie le plus naturellement du monde au milieu du dîner familial entre le fromage et le dessert j’ai failli m’étrangler mais avec le recul là ou certains pourraient voir un “coming out forcé” je sais qu’ il s’agissait plutôt de me donner le courage d’affronter rapidement et sereinement qui j’étais. J’ai ainsi pu me rendre compte rapidement qu’au final il s’agissait de quelqu’un de très bien et que je pouvais être fier de celui que j’allais devenir. Je ne le dis jamais assez mais merci Maman ;)

Antoine, Project Manager, Paris

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Antoine, in his own French words: “Etre gay signifie pour moi être une personne ayant une forte sensibilité et partageant les émotions de manière sincère et profonde avec leurs amis. Cela fait référence à un style de vie bien à part comparé à des couples hétérosexuels dans la mesure où les gays ont tendance à fréquenter des personnes de leur « milieu », même si ce n’est pas une généralité. Etre gay est aussi synonyme d’affirmation de son goût pour l’art, quel que soit le domaine (architecture, artiste, peinture, mode). En général, les gays sont altruistes et cherchent à rendre heureux les personnes dans la nécessité. Ils sont aussi engagés dans les causes qui leur tiennent à cœur.

En tant que gay, j’ai parfois dû me justifier sur ma sensibilité démesurée. Derrière la « carapace » que je me suis forgée au fur et à mesure des années pour me protéger des insinuations ou provocations se trame une très grande sensibilité que je dévoile qu’aux personnes très proches ou dont le parcours m’interpelle.
Aux yeux de certains, cette hyper-sensibilité ainsi que mon goût prononcé pour les belles choses peut les interroger sur mes orientations sexuelles.

A mes yeux, le quartier gay de Paris est plutôt restreint puisqu’il se cantonne au Marais. Il est très fréquent de croiser des visages connus lorsque l’on s’y rend. Comme dans toutes les autres villes, ce quartier est plutôt superficiel mais il est toujours agréable de s’y promener afin d’observer les différents styles des personnes arpentant les rues du quartier.
Saint-Germain des Prés -moins superficiel et plus cultivé- est un autre lieu où les gays peuvent se balader en prenant du plaisir.

Mon coming-out s’est fait très simplement ! Alors que je demandais à mes parents si mon copain de l’époque pouvait venir en vacances avec ma famille, ma mère m’a interpellé en me demandant s’il s’agissait de mon petit-ami. J’ai alors répondu « Oui », et ma famille l’a très bien reçu en me soutenant dans mes choix et en considérant que le principal était d’être heureux et d’avoir trouvé son équilibre !”

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Justin, Recruiting Manager, San Francisco

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Justin, in his own words: “I’ve recently come to feel empowered about being gay and being myself. Even living in a city where it is pretty much expected that people accept or at least deal with homosexuality, my experience as a gay man has been filled with ups and downs. It was a struggle for me to embrace my sexuality because I don’t associate with society’s stereotypes of “being gay”. A lot of gay men don’t reflect characters seen on television (though having Darren Criss as my boyfriend would be pretty awesome). The best realization I had was when I was able to understand that people in general (gays too) come in many different sizes, shapes and types and I didn’t have to fit into any of them; I can be my awesome self.”