Tag Archives: gay

Gary, Portland, Oregon

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Gary, in his own words: “For me, being “gay” means I am a man attracted to men. It’s indicative of my dating life and many of the social circles I find myself in. Being “queer,” on the other hand, means that I am different from the mainstream. Insofar as my sexuality and gender expression don’t fit into the dominant culture, I am queer. I didn’t realize how interconnected your gender and sexual identities are until I came out. Coming out as gay and embracing my sexuality also meant accepting who I am as a man. I always felt I was different from other boys; I was often deemed a little “feminine” or made fun of for being sensitive or not as into sports like many boys were. I hated my differences, but over the years, and ultimately through coming out, I have learned to love myself for all that I am. I am a gay, queer man and I couldn’t be more proud.

I grew up with a loving father, but he struggled with alcoholism for the better part of my childhood. He carried so much shame, which inhibited his ability to be an even better father. Growing into manhood and figuring out what it meant to be a man was a solitary journey. I count that as a success though; of course it was hard, but it made me stronger and has shaped me into who I am today. Another life challenge was losing my father in a car accident when I was 15. It forced me to grow up quickly, as the oldest man in the house and a source of strength for my mom and brother. I count overcoming that challenge a success too. Other successes I’m proud of include being a first generation university graduate; coming from a family with little financial means, I attended a private university and got my Bachelor’s degree. Immediately after college I spent a year and a half living in a slum in Bangkok doing community development work. I came out during that time, brought about by being away from home and being able to process things more clearly. Growing up in a religious household, not everyone in my life was receptive of it, and it’s certainly been a challenge learning how to love them or draw boundaries where necessary. The struggle is worth it though. Overall, my time in Thailand was difficult, but it made me stronger and I grew so much from it.

My coming out story is an interesting one. I grew up in a conservative, Christian world and I sincerely loved the Church and the ways it enriched my life. My views on queer people began to change my junior year of college when one of my professors came out as transgender. For the first time in my life I was challenged to think through my beliefs and figure out why I believed the things I did. It was through that time that I became affirming for LGBT people. Interestingly enough, I still thought I was straight and merely dealt with “same-sex attractions,” as it’s often called in the Christian world. Years later, while living in Thailand, I was so ashamed over my attractions that I couldn’t bear it any longer. I realized the only way to be free was to call my sexuality for what it is; I initially came out as “bi,” because that was the next safest step for me. Eventually though, I realized I’m solely attracted to men and began identifying as “gay.” Over the course of six months I came out to my closest friends, immediate family, and extended family, as we’ve always been close. I wanted to be transparent with everyone in my life, even if it meant potentially losing relationships.

There’s a decent queer community here in Portland. When I moved here I really wanted to be a part of a church that accepts queer people, so Portland being the inclusive and welcoming city that it is, that was easy to find. There’s a group of us queer people who always sit together at church and we often make jokes about the queer section we’ve established. It’s been a healing and restorative thing, being able to bring every part of me to church without hiding anything; I wish there were more churches like that. I’ve only experienced a little bit of the gay nightlife here, but it’s been more than welcoming. From my work place to walking around town, I never feel threatened or the need to hide my sexuality. I feel like I can be myself everywhere I go.

If I could give my younger self advice I would encourage him to think for himself, not to blindly accept the beliefs of others, and to think about why he believes the way he does. Ultimately, I would tell him not to fear others or what they think of him.”

Mark, Showroom Merchandiser, Portland, OR

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Mark, in his own words: “I would sit with my infant self that was born with broken bones and not held for weeks and tell him “You are ok. You are loved by the universe. You will heal.”

I would sit with my 6 year old self that wanted dolls to put in the back of his toy truck and tell him “You are ok. You are loved. You are magic.”

I would sit with my 12 year old self that had crushes on all the boys and none of the girls and tell him “You are ok. You are loved. You are magnificent.”

I would sit with my 14 year old self that sat in front of everyone else to watch tv so he could cry without being seen and I would tell him “You are ok. You are loved. Perfect just as you are.”

I would sit with my 17 year old self that decided he needed to come out to his parents as they walked out the door to a church picnic and I would tell him “You are ok. You are loved. You are strong.”

I would sit with my 20 year old self that was disowned for wanting to love and be loved and I would tell him “You are ok. You are loved. Their ignorance is not your fault.”

I would sit with my 23 year old self that left his hometown to be free, once and for all, and I would tell him “You are ok. You are loved. You are so brave.”

I would sit with my 28 year old self that finally gave his parents an earful and said all of the things he’d been wanting to say for years and I would tell him “You are ok. You are loved. It’s ok to not need your birth family.”

I tell myself I am ok. I am loved. I will heal. I am magic. I am magnificent. I am perfect just as I am. I am strong. I am brave. Some days I don’t believe me. Most days I do.”

Kenny, Travel Agent, Phnom Penh, Cambodia

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Kenny, in his own words: “(Being gay) just means instead of having a girlfriend, I’ll have a boyfriend. It’s that simple to me.

The last eighteen years and a half have been a challenge for me. I’m not the smartest kid so I have always had to double the effort in everything that I do just to barely catch up with people. This has been true for almost twenty years of my life, and has been more true ever since I came out. (Greatest success) Finishing college and finishing my masters degree.

(With regards to coming out) (my parents) didn’t yell. They were mad at for another reason at the time, because my grades in college weren’t as I had expected. And then I came out to them, and at the time they didn’t react as horribly as I thought they would. But over time, they went on to make clear their opinion on that matter, which is that they expect me to fulfill my duty, which is to get married and most importantly produce offspring. And I’m clear on their opinions, I’m not sure that I can meet it, and I’m sure that I cannot meet it.

In many ways (the gay community in Phnom Penh) bears some resemblance to the one in Thailand. It’s still a new one, and it’s vibrant, and they are searching for their own identity. All subcultures of gay men in Phnom Penh.

(With regards to advice to my younger self) Stop punishing yourself.”