Category: City: São Paulo, Brazil

Flavio, Photographer, São Paulo

photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong

Flavio, in his own words: “Wow… tough one this first question…I guess that being gay means being normal, just like being straight. Of course that being gay in today’s world means that you are very likely to face a few challenges that, in theory, straight people wouldn’t face. But I truly don’t feel different just because I’m a man who likes men. I guess I used to feel different when I was younger, but, to be honest, looking back now, I actually believe that this feeling doesn’t necessarily have to do with being gay – I’m just a bit like a fish out of water in the way I behave, think, etc. Yes, being gay might have played a part in this as it meant feeling awkward when I was a kid/teenager but, truth be told, if it wasn’t for the bullying, the awkwardness probably would not have any sort of link with my sexual orientation.

On one hand, yes, being gay means that you are a part of a smaller group in today’s society and therefore it’d be naive to believe that people would treat you like they treat everyone else. Humans tend to respond to everything that is “different” in a very peculiar way (aggressive and negative at most times, unfortunately). But, on the other hand, I couldn’t think of a better time to “be gay” (if that makes sense). We’re not coming out as a group, we are out already. And we have a lot of respect from a lot of people, exactly because they recognize what a battle we had to go through to stand where we are. If we still have a lot to “conquer” in terms of respect, understanding and civil rights? Hell yeah. I speak as a Brazilian gay who comes from a very open minded family. But I know it’s a completely different story in other places, even in my country. But then I’m just being as positive as I can: I’m looking to the glass and I’m thinking it is half full, and not half empty. It will take ages for society to make it a full glass and for everyone to truly accept that not every man desires a woman, but I remember when my generation (at least in Brasil) came out when we were teenagers and what a nightmare that was generally. I have friends that really went through a living hell in their parents’ houses. And I’m not saying that nowadays is an easy thing to do, but we progressed so, so much. 10-15 years ago it was a completely different story.

In terms of challenges, I’m happy to say that the only big “problem” I had for being gay was the fact that I was quite bullied at school. And what an irony: I didn’t even know that I was gay. Kids can be horrible… But a lot of children go through bullying and of course it’s not always because they’re gay. So maybe I would have suffered from this situation anyway, even If I wasn’t a homossexual. I like to believe that I did quite well for someone who really had a disgusting experience at school for such a long period of time (I remember being called nasty things even after high school). I tend to be a bit aggressive, which is a negative aspect of my personality, but it’s how I managed to “survive” and it must be said that this fierceness has helped me so much in so many fields of my life. So no, I wouldn’t change any of the things I went through as a little boy. The cliche is true: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? I know people that are still dealing with these demons from their childhoods, but I think I already overcame this in a healthy way: I don’t hate people, children, men, society, etc etc. I am very aware of the cruelty that exists in the world, but this perception has only made me more sensitive to the ones that are outcasts in society. I’d say that’s my real success in terms of being gay: the awareness and sensibility towards the others

The gay community in São Paulo is quite diverse at the moment. I think there’s a little treat for everyone… Of course there’s the typical “gay scene” that kinda looks like “Queer as Folk”, but then there’s the hipster scenario, the fancy gays, etc etc. We do have the biggest Gay Parade in the world, but I don’t think most of us are what you would expect from a militant, you know? The parade is just one big crazy day for everyone really… Our community is very Grindr/Tinder-driven at the moment, but very hypocritical when it comes to being open about promiscuous sex. Maybe it is a brazilian thing… we have naked people in tv adverts, soap operas, etc, but we’re still a very conservative country somehow. I lived in London for 3 years and I remember being surprised with the way gay man would live their sexual lives. Even in the clubbing scene: it is ok for a man to go to a kinky club in Europe. Here in Brasil it’s something you probably wouldn’t do or wouldn’t share, even with some of your closest friends. It’s seems silly to me…

Coming out wasn’t a big thing for me. I mean: it did take me ages to do so. I was 19 when I first told a dear friend of mine, who was out already. But once I did it, I just felt free (I guess that’s what most gay man experience, right?) and ended up telling everyone one, including my family and they were quite supportive I’d say. I had never kissed anyone before that (not even a girl), so I guess the biggest problem I had wasn’t being gay, but being a complete weirdo in that sense. Obviously coming out opened doors and possibilities and it didn’t take a lot of time for me to eventually snog someone. Yes, it was a man I think that if I had not gone through bullying at school, coming out could have happened earlier… but who knows??? Maybe the fact that kids used to call me “gay” helped me realise that they were right after all… those bitches… lol…

If I could give an advice to myself before I came out I’d say: you know you are an amazing person behind this big fear of yours, so be brave and show the world and yourself how strong you can be, otherwise you’ll never truly be “complete”. It doesn’t have to do with being gay and hooking up with other man, though that’s a big part of it and quite pleasurable… It has to do with being yourself entirely and letting go of the worst fear of them all: the fear of being happy ps. let us not forget that that’s what the word “gay” means.”

Gustavo, Planning Supervisor, São Paulo

photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong

Gustavo, in his own Portuguese words: “Meu primeiro beijo foi em uma roda de amigos brincando de verdade ou desafio, ainda em Belém do Pará, onde cresci. Na brincadeira, você escolhe entre responder a uma pergunta sobre você ou aceita realizar um desafio proposto pelo grupo. Eu não era muito de falar sobre mim, então preferi ser desafiado. E meu desafio foi beijar uma menina.

Eu não pensava ser gay. Na infância, a maior parte das referências que temos a ser gay são estereotipadas. E nenhum deles se encaixava com o meu cotidiano de garoto nerd, apaixonado por ler, escrever, desenhar e jogar videogame. Ninguém ensina que ser gay não tem tanto a ver com como você age, mas sim com o que você sente.

Foi somente no primeiro ano de faculdade que eu desafiei a mim mesmo a beijar um menino. E comecei a aceitar o que antes eu não tinha muita certeza: sou gay.

Algum tempo depois me apaixonei por um amigo próximo, que se tornou meu primeiro namorado. Eu sempre achei tudo muito natural, não fosse o fato de que, por medo da reação da família dele, eu era apresentado como “o melhor amigo”.

Eu não concordava com aquilo. Não via motivos para mentir. E ao sair do armário para a minha mãe, recebi um conselho que revisito na minha memória até hoje:

“Você é quem você é. Partindo disso, não rotule os outros e não se permita rotular. A sociedade tende a classificar tudo e todos os separando em caixinhas, mas cabe a cada um de nós lembrar ao mundo que somos muito mais do que isso. Orgulhe-se de você”

Hoje vivo em São Paulo e escolhi viver o conselho da minha mãe, que replico aqui: tenha orgulho por ser gay. Tenha orgulho pelo tempo que decidiu dedicar aos estudos e ao trabalho. Tenha orgulho pelas pessoas que conheceu. E pelas pessoas que escolheu manter na minha vida. Tenha orgulho pelas escolhas que fez, pelas experiências que acumulou e pelos sonhos que alimenta. Tenha orgulho por tudo o que já viveu e que faz de você único no mundo.

Não é necessário provar nada para ninguém. Ter orgulho de ser gay faz parte de ter orgulho de quem você é por completo.”

in English:

“My first kiss happened in a circle of friends playing Truth or Dare, still in Belém of Pará where I was brought up. In this game, you choose between answering a question about yourself or accepting to do a dare proposed by the group. Since I wasn’t really the talk about me type, I preferred being challenged. And my dare was kissing a girl.

I didn’t think I was gay. In my childhood, most part of the gay references that we had were very stereotypic. And none of them really matched my nerdy, bookworm, in love with writing, drawing and playing video-games lifestyle.
Nobody teaches you that being gay doesn’t have much to do with how you act, but with how you feel.

It was only during my freshman year in college that I dared myself to kiss a boy.
And I started to accept what before I wasn’t so sure: I’m gay.

Sometime after, I fell in love with a close friend, who later became my boyfriend. I always thought everything was quite natural, despite the fact that, out of fear of his family’s reaction, I was introduced as “the best friend.”

I didn’t agree with that. I didn’t see a reason for lying. And after coming out of the closet to my mom, I got a piece of advice that I still revisit in my memory to this day:

“You are who you are. Starting from this, don’t label others and don’t let yourself be labeled. Society tends to classify everything and everyone by separating them into little boxes, but it’s up to each one of us to remind the world that we’re much more than that. Be proud of yourself”

Today, I live in São Paulo and I chose to live my mom’s advice, that I hereby share: be proud of being gay. Be proud of the time you decided to dedicate to study and work. Be proud of the people you met. And the people you chose to keep in your life. Be proud of the choices you made, of the experiences you collected and the dreams you nourish. Be proud of everything you’ve lived and everything that makes you the only one in the world.

It’s not necessary to prove anything to anyone. Being proud of being gay is part of being proud of who you are through and through.”

Danilo, Assistant Opera Director, São Paulo

photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong

Danilo, in his own Portuguese words:

“Trecho da peça “Coração: Casafechada”
Exerpt from the play “LockedHouse: Heart”

Tó.
Cuida do meu coração?
Presta atenção,
ele é frágil e apodrece logo
Sem carinho ou refrigeração.

Por favor,
Cuida do meu coração?
Cuida, que ele insiste
e bate.
E se bate, é porque não sabe fazer diferente.
É carne nova.

Cuida do meu coração?
Ou como opção,
Faça bifes dele.

Mas se o for comer,
Que o coma cru.
Porque cru ele não responde
E frio ele fica macio e suculento
e realça-se seu sabor.
Sim, coma-o frio.

Porque se se aquece esse meu coração,
ele vai lutar para continuar vivo.
Todos sabem que coração quente é intragável.

Ele vai lutar contra seu estômago e duodeno
Vai entalar na sua garganta
Se instalar no seu ouvido médio e talvez até apodrecer na sua meninge.
Ele era bom aluno e prestava atenção nas aulas de biologia.
Sabe bem se virar.

Meu coração sabe lutar.
Mas cuida do meu coração?
Ele ainda é moleque e às vezes vira para o lado errado
bate em lugares tortos
e luta pelas causas erradas.”