Category: City: Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

Thach, Wardrobe Stylist, Ho Chi Minh City

photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong

Thach, in his own words: “When I was 18, I told my Mom that I was gay. Both of us cried a lot. She was worried that I had been affected by my gay friends and she wanted me to go to see doctors. I explained to her that I was not sick, it was just who I am. After calming down, she said she could not force me to be someone else and told me to become a good man and make my family proud.

After that, facing my Mom was a challenge to me and it took quite some time to normalize the conversations between me and my family members. Having support from family is the greatest thing to me and it’s not easy for other people to have that.

My family and my life are important to me now. I don’t pay attention to what people say and think about my sexuality. I just live and work well to make my family proud of me as I promised. And I have never regretted or never blamed myself for being gay. I even think that is a gift affectionately granted to me by God.”

Jun, Make Up Artist, Ho Chi Minh City

photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong

Jun, in his own Vietnamese words: “Tôi không hỗ thẹn mình là gay, ngược lại tôi hạnh phúc khi nói rằng trời vẫn sinh chúng tôi ra để thế giới muôn màu hơn, vì nhiều lãnh vựt chúng tôi làm được nhưng chưa chắc các bạn làm được và các bạn làm được chúng ta cũng đã có người thành công.
Tôi sống thật với chính bản thân tôi, không vì 1 lý do nào đó để lừa dối tình cảm 1 người con gái, đó là điều tốt chưa chắc 1 số đàn ông làm được…. ^^

Thử thách lớn nhất là tôi phải đối mặt với ba mẹ khi công nhận tôi là gay lúc đó tôi 20t, chỉ biết diễn đạt bằng những lời mình cảm thấy là thuyết phục nhất..
—–“con xin lổi ba mẹ, không không lấy vợ và sinh cháu cho ba mẹ được đơn giản con không muốn tổn thương 1 người con gái nào đó, không đem lại hạnh phúc cho người ta thì đừng cố gắng bên nhau. con đặt trường hợp xấu nhất là cô không chịu được cú shock và chết vì biết chồng mình là gay, thì ai là người gieo mầm tội lỗi đó?”
Mẹ tôi khóc, ba tôi không nói câu gì vì giận. 1 thời gian dài 2 cha con nhiều tranh cãi và ông ấy đã nói câu tôi không bao giờ quên : “tôi sinh ra mày được thì tôi giết mày được”
Tôi hận bản thân mình và càng chứng minh rằng tôi như bao thằng con trai khác,, thể thao, học tập, cuộc sống hằng ngày ….. rất bình thường. vài năm sau tôi nhẹ cả người khi nghe câu nói đùa của mẹ : “con gái không kêu bạn giới thiệu thằng tây nào cho con đi” ^^
tôi không thuộc tuýp người năng động và chinh phục thế giới nên tôi chẳng có thành tựu lớn nào, chỉ biết đừng làm mẹ thêm buồn… ^^

cũng là lúc tôi cho ba mẹ và mọi người xung phải là 1 chứng bệnh là 1 thứ chạy theo hiện đại hay chỉ là 1 trò chơi như mọi người nghĩ. chúng tôi cũng có trái tim cũng yêu bằng chính trái tim đó như bao người. hiện tôi có 1 bạn trai đã quên nhau được 6 năm tuy chúng tôi không chung sống bên nhau được, tôi rất buồn vì điều đó nhưng biết như thế nào hơn khi số phận đã ngăn cách ta giữa 2 bờ đại dương. mọ

gia đình chúng tôi không phản đối nên càng cho chúng tôi động lực để chứng minh cho mọi người rằng gay không có gì là sai trái cả. càng tạo niềm tin về 1 ngày nào đó rằng chúng tôi sẽ vượt qua số phận mà được sống bên nhau

Tôi nghĩ cũng như cộng đồng Mỹ, ngày phát triển và được nhiều người chấp nhận và đồng cảm hơn. nhưng chưa thật sự có những hoạt động tô điểm cho cộng đồng.
Nhà nước VN cũng đã thảo luật về việc cho gay kết hôn.”

English Translation:

I am not ashamed to be a Gay, in the contrary I am very happy to say that God has given me a life in this world with a different aspect of this colorful universe. Because on many levels with regards to talents, we can do better than others, and some (gay men) are very successful.

I live for myself, there is no reason to fake my emotions to a girl, which is a good thing since others may do something like that.

The big challenge to me was when I had to come face to face with my parents to declare that I am Gay, I was 20 years old. I tried to use simple words to convince them “Please forgive me, I am sorry, I can’t marry a girl, I can’t give you grand children. Simply, that I don’t want to hurt that girl, if I can’t bring happiness to her, then I should not live with her. I give you one example: it would be worse for her to find out that I am Gay, it would be a shock which could lead to her dying, then who should we blame for causing such a tragedy?”

My mother cried, my father was silent because he was angry. It was a long time since my father and I always argued and quarreled, and he said to me one sentence that I have not forgotten, “I gave birth to you, and I can kill you, too”.

I felt sorry, and tried to prove that I am just like other boys: exercise, study hard, and live a normal life. A few years later, I felt relief to hear one of my mother’s jokes, “My girl, why don’t you call your friend to introduce you to a Western boy.”

I am not the type of person to conquer the world that’s why I don’t have any big success, but I only know how to make my mother less sorrowful.

It’s time for me to let my parents and others surrounding me know that it’s not a disease, or chasing a new style, or playing a game as people thought. We have a heart to love just like everyone else. At this present time, I have a boyfriend, we know each other for six years. Although, we can’t live together. I am sad about that, but what can I do when destiny has separated us between the two big oceans.

Our families do not object, so it’s our motive to demonstrate to every one that being gay is nothing wrong. It’s our hope that someday we can overcome our destiny and live together side by side.

I think that the community in the USA has more progress and many more people have been accepted and sympathetic than in Vietnam, in which there has not been much activities to contribute to our community. Although, Vietnamese government is discussing allowing us to get marriage.”

Trung, Creative Director/Cofounder of Bitch Party, Ho Chi Minh City

photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong

Trung, in his own words: ” With regards to being gay, probably I have to believe in who I am then when I can come across this fear then I can face with life with my parents with my partners. Sometimes you got a great idea but this society haven’t accept you yet. They aren’t ready yet. As a person running a gay event I try my best to let my customer got comfortable in their own zone where they can feel safe. We did get some eye staring and talked from our back . I will never let it happen or come to my customer. But so far we did it well.

Gay community (in Ho Chi Minh City) is like a secret underground group. Everything came from Words of Mouth. They are conservative. They only go wherever they feel safe or big group of people doing this. It’s all about the gossip world. They are still close minded for themselves. But there is an upcoming younger group is dare to do anything they want.

(With my coming out) Well let’s say it’s all start by my 1st bf who is American . He taught me of everything I need to know about being a gay man. I still remember he said there is nothing wrong for born gay. You should feel it gifted. From that moment I believe more on what I do , anything I do until June 2010 I started my BITCH event that’s when I say it out loud and proud who I am and scared no shit about being shy.

I think over 85 millions people living in this country only me are the gay guy starting to do this party which connect all the gay guy together as well as create a network for those who are drag queen had a house to go. It gave me such a big push on my confident then I starting to believe this is ME. I born with this special gifted then I share my story to the my friend to the world wherever I go.”