Monthly Archives: September 2016

Robi and Ernst, Retired, Zurich, Switzerland

Robi (left) and Ersnt (right), photo by Kevin Truong

Robi (left) and Ersnt (right), photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Ernst (left) and Robi (right), photo by Kevin Truong

Ernst (left) and Robi (right), photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Robi (left) and Ernst (right), photo by Kevin Truong

Robi (left) and Ernst (right), photo by Kevin Truong

Robi and Ernst, in their own words: “Ernst: We have been together now for 59 years. And we met when we were 26. We met at the Kreis. and Robi was performing on stage as a lady. And I thought this is a woman and it’s not a man doing this. I bet 100 franks and I lost it, and I found Robi. He was in the theatre group of the Kreis. And he was the star in the Kreis. I was working with the section of the editors of the magazine, in the three languages of the magazine in German, French and English. Since I spoke these three languages I became familiar with all three editors.

Robi: I was also very happy in the Kreis because theater was my life. In private I was always in theater, and I had a main part in a Swiss film also. So theatre and cinema is just a big part of my life and I was very pleased all the time.

Ernst: But you started when you were a boy.

Robi: Yes, when I was seven years old my mother worked in theatre, and the director came and asked her ‘You have a boy, can you bring him once?’ And from that time, I had children’s parts and so many things in the theatre.

Ernst: The Kreis, was a homosexual organization, the only one existing in Switzerland, it was founded in 1932 and it went on until 1967. It at first had a different name, but it was always the same organization. And they also had a magazine, first in German only, and it had a different name, but then it also started to get subscribers in the French speaking part of Switzerland, so it was in two languages, the Kreis and le Cercle, and then after 1943, they started with the third language, in English. And then the Kries became an international magazine, since it was the only one in the market with subscribers all over the world. And very good connections especially to America, because the Mattachine Society was founded in 1951 in Los angeles and they started with a magazine called ‘One’, because it was the first of the gay magazines in the USA. And they had connections with the Kreis, and that was going to and fro, and similar with Paris, and other organizations in the Netherlands, in Denmark, and Sweden and Norway. And in Germany. In Germany of course, very clandestine, only hidden, because they still had the Hitler paragraph of their famous paragraph 175, and it was all forbidden. (Back then being gay) was very difficult.

Robi: Yes, you had to live a double life because it was not popular and homophobia was very big at that time, also in Switzerland. So it was quite difficult for us. We couldn’t go together walking, or I never went to the school where Ernst was working. It was really impossible.

Ernst: And the most difficult thing for us was that for the first 30 years when we were a couple, we could not live together, we had no flat together, because it was two dangerous!

Robi: And they would not give an apartment for two men, two women was good, but two men, no.

How was your coming out?

Robi: For me it was very easy. I feel when I was very young, 10, 12 years, I looked always at boys, I had never the will to go with a girl.

Ernst: And you were dressing like it!

Robi: Yes, and I was dressing like it. And that was another thing, I looked androgynous when I was young.

Ernst: You tried to act a woman’s part as a child already, drag gin up, I think you were gay before you were born! (laughs)

Robi: Maybe. (laughs)

Ernst: I knew from very young that something was different, and I didn’t like to play with boys. And I knew I had to hide this. And then when I was 11 I found out that I was looking after young men and just at the same time that my comrades at school started to look after girls and I thought, ‘They’re so silly’ and I found out, ‘Well you’re looking after boys, well you’re just as silly! Actually, and you feel the same but the other way around. But you can’t tell this to anybody, not even at home. Well this is my secret.’ And it was a big secret, indeed. And I thought I was the only one. I looked up in all sorts of lexicon, and I didn’t find any hint on what I was feeling. Until I finally found the word homosexuality, but that was in medicine and medical illness and psychological illnesses and pathology. And I knew I was not ill, this is part of my nature. All these learned men writing this lexicon, they don’t know anything about it. But I know.

Robi: My family was quite normal, they accepted me like I was. It was never a problem. And when I met Ernst, my mother was very very happy for me to have a young friend. And she was always saying to me, ‘Be serious and don’t leave Ernst, he is wonderful for you.’

Ernst: My family, well for my family it was a no go. I felt this immediately so I never talked anything about it. It was a total secret. Also in schools, because they sent me to Christian schools, which was interesting, I was interested in christian religion, and just finding out that I don’t believe in all they say. But it was an interesting way of making philosophy with the hypothesis that there is a God creating everything. And I thought, ‘This is wrong, this is against nature to believe in a God.’ But then again, I was not to say this to anybody because this was a religious school and I would have left it. And so there were several secrets, on the whole, this was an interesting time because the teachers were very good and I could learn a lot. I was not a very good scholar, because I was interested in more things that were outside of what was taught in school. And I read lots and lots of books on Indian philosophy and on French modern literature, on Existentialism, and all this was no subject at the school.

What is the secret to stayng together for so long?

Robi: We respect each other, and we won’t change the personality of the partner. We accept him like he is. And we speak always openly, we never lied. And when one had an adventure we told the other, and that makes it good.

Ernst: Because also we had sort of an open relationship, we had some friends outside, but we talked to each and we introduced them to each other, and sometimes we had sex the three together and it was fun, and we thought ‘Well this is going on very well like this.’ But in the deeper part, we never wanted to separate. we knew we belonged to each other, and we would never find anybody else to whom we have the same feelings. I love Robi because he is a little androgynous and he always has new ideas and he never can decide on this or that, it’s always me that has to tell him, ‘How do you think, I think this is better for the moment, what do you feel like?’ And then he finally makes his decisions. This is a kind of game and it is every day new.”

Robi: And this is very good, I learn a lot from Ernst, and it makes our partnership so wonderful because he helps me an in a way I help him also.

Ernst: Yes sure, I would have gone lost without you.

What advice would you give to someone struggling to come out?

Ernst: First of all try and accept yourself as a gay individual. This is your nature and you can’t change it. When you start to accept this fact, as part of yourself, then you can also start talking to a close friend, girl or boy, about your difference of the majority and you then can go on opening yourself slowly. Coming out is not done at once, it ’s a long process, and it’s always going in as well, accepting yourself, and then you can go out again. This is a long process. But once you have finished really to get through, you accept yourself, and you are accepted by the others, then you are a ripe personality and you are further with lots of things than many of your colleagues who had not to do this process.

Robi: I’m very happy I am gay, it’s perfect for me.

Ernst: I couldn’t imagine myself being hetero, the whole life would have been different. And I’m sure it would have been much more dull.”

The movie, The Circle was made about Robi and Ernst lives. Robi and Ernst were the first couple to have their registered partnership legally recognized in Zurich.

Joel, Student, Buenos Aires, Argentina

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Joel, in his own words: “(Being gay means) Para mi significa algo más físico que mental, de hecho es parte de mi vida. Ser gay lo somos todos, lo único que cambia es el concepto que le da esta palabra para otras personas. Todos sentimos lo mismo hacia alguna persona que queremos, amamos, deseamos, etc. De hecho puedo decir que ser gay es parte de mi vida, nacía siéndolo y moriré siéndolo, eso no cambia al lado de alguien que ama a su prójimo.

(With regards to challenges) Creo que de hecho aceptar mi sexualidad, a su vez entender que es normal que me atraiga los chicos. Para empezar yo sé que desde niño ya tenía atracciones a personas cercanas, como algún primo donde nos besamos o el vecino de mi barrio, pero las bloqueaba por un tema de la sociedad peruana (de donde provengo) y la religión evangélica que estaba tan presenta en mi casa. Fue duro pasar la etapa adolescente creyendo que si era una confusión hasta que me enamoré de un chico y realmente me di cuenta que soy gay, que tenía verdaderos sentimientos de pasarla con él, de pensar en romances y lo que toda persona siente alguna vez.

Quizá lo otro fue “salir del clóset”, ya que mi familia siempre lo sospechó desde pequeño, para mi fue fácil y muy decidido se los dije, no me importaba si tenía que “perder” el cariño de ellos, al final de cuenta es mi vida y no tienen porque entrometerse en lo que siento. Pero lo divertido de esto, es que siento que todo los problemas familiares que tuve al salir del clóset o con los amigos son los mismos problemas que puede tener un heterosexual, travesti, bisexual, etcétera… es parte de la vida, todos tenemos los mismas anécdotas, solo cambiamos el género.

Mi historia repito es la misma la de un heterosexual, travesti, bisexual, transexual, etcétera. Para mí el compartir mi historia con otras personas de distinto sexo/género hace que tenga un lazo de amistad. Ya que siempre me pasa que tengo anécdotas que contar y la otra persona le pasa lo mismo, reímos y compartimos consejos al respecto. Todos aprendemos a convivir con la sociedad por más dura y homofóbica pueda ser, para mi ser gay es casi ya tener un título de valentía. Ponerte la camiseta, tener correa (como se dice en Perú ante las burlas) y sudarla es parte del día a día. De hecho mucha gente no sabe que soy gay porque luzco como alguien “normal” pero cuando converso no guardo etiquetas ni mi preferencia sexual hacia otros, de hecho aprendí a hacerlo sin tener miedo a las reacciones de otros… porque para mi es normal y si “no lo es” discuto un poco el tema con todo el respeto posible.

Buenos Aires me ha enseñado muchas cosas respecto al sentimiento de formar y querer ser parte de la comunidad, de hecho cuando vivía en Perú aún no sentía parte de esa comunidad por más que lo decía de boca para afuera con mis amigos, ya que existe aún mucha discriminación (ya sea social o racial) dentro de los homosexuales y sobretodo más con los transexuales, travestis, queers. Esto me parece espantoso y mucho por cual trabajar.

Buenos Aires tiene una historia consolidada respecto a los derechos humanos con los gays, temas tan evolucionados desde el DNI para personas transexuales hasta la Unión Civil. Estoy contento con lo que se ha logrado y quiero ser parte de ello, de hecho quisiera ser parte del organismo y propagar actividades en las calles respecto al arte, es una manera muy factible de llegar a las personas que aún no comprenden nuestra comunidad.

Además sobretodo llevar estas actividades a mi país de origen: Perú, ya que se sigue luchando por los derechos. Una frase que me gustó de Carlos Jauregui, fundador de la CHA (Comunidad Homosexual de Argentina), es: “En una sociedad que nos educa para la vergüenza, el orgullo es una respuesta política.”

(Advice I’d give my younger self) El primer consejo que me di cuando tenía 12 años fue quererme, de hecho siempre tuve miedo a que la gente no me quería, tenía miedo al rechazo y es algo que aún no supero cuando conozco a alguien que me interesa. Un par de consejos actuales es 1. pasa más tiempo con tu familia y 2. que me daría como gay es que pueda amar a otro gay, que enamorarme no me es imposible, que en mi cabeza deje de pensar tanto y pueda decir al chico que me guste: hola.”

In English:

“For me (being gay) means more something physical than mental, in fact it is part of my life. All that changes with being gay is the concept that gives the word to others. We all feel the same way about anyone we want, love, desire, etc. In fact I can say that being gay is part of my life, so to die and be born with it, that does not change next to someone who loves his neighbor.

I think in fact accepting my sexuality, (was a challenge) in turn understanding that it is normal that I am attracted to guys. For starters, I know that as a child I had attractions to nearby people, like some primo where we kissed or a neighbor in my neighborhood, but I was blocked by Peruvian society (where I come from) and evangelical religion that was so present in my house. It was hard to pass the adolescent stage, thinking I was confused, until I fell for a guy and I really realized that I’m gay, I had real feelings of the moment with him, thinking about romances and what everyone feels sometimes.

Perhaps another (challenge) was “coming out” as my family always suspected since childhood, for me it was easy and I was very determined I told you, I did not care if I had to “lose” the love of them, at the end of the day it is my life and it should not have to intrude on what I feel. But the funny thing is that I feel that all my family problems I had coming out to them or with friends are the same problems that may have a straight person may have, or shemale, bisexual, etc …it is part of life, we all have the same anecdotes, only a change gender.

My history repeats itself with that of a heterosexual, transvestite, bisexual, transgender, and so on. For me to share my story with other people of different sex / gender helps create a bond of friendship. As always happens to me I have stories to tell and the other person feels the same, laughs and shares advice. We all learn to live with the society, as hard and homophobic as it may be, for me being gay already means having a degree of courage. Wearing the shirt, having the belt (as they say in Peru before teasing) and sweating it is part of everyday life. In fact many people do not know I’m gay because I look like someone “normal” but when I talk I do not hide labels or my sexual preference to others, in fact I learned to do without fear of the reactions of others … because for me it is normal and if “it is not” discuss the issue with all possible respect.

Buenos Aires has taught me many things about the feeling of being and wanting to be part of the community, in fact when I lived in Peru I still did not feel part of this community, as there is still much discrimination (either social or racial) within the gay and especially more with transsexuals, transvestites, queers. This seems frightening and much work needs to be done.

Buenos Aires has an established community regarding human rights to gay history topics, as evolved from the DNI for transgender people to the Civil Union. I’m happy with what has been achieved and I want to be part of it, in fact I wanted to be part of the body and spreading activities on the streets about art, it is very feasible to reach people who do not yet understand our community way.

Moreover, especially these activities in my country: Peru, as they are still fighting for rights. A phrase I liked about Carlos Jauregui, founder of the CHA (Homosexual Community of Argentina), is: “In a society that teaches us to shame, pride is a political response.”

The first advice I (would give my younger self) is to love myself, in fact I was always afraid that people did not want me, I was afraid of rejection and it is something that did not leave when I met someone who interests me. A pair of current advice is 1. spend more time with your family and 2. that you can love another gay, that to fall in love is not impossible and that in my head to stop thinking so much and if I like a boy I can say: hello.”

Julien, Architect, Amsterdam, Netherlands

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong