A Note From France.

“Dear the Gay Men Project,

Ok then – I’ll “submit my own story”, for what it’s worth. After a rather uneventful gay man’s life in France (loving quite a few, not being loved by so many, loosing friends to AIDS over the eighties…) I finally found what seems to be real love in my late 60s. I met this Chinese guy, twenty years my junior, in a Southeast Asian country, 11 years ago and it was really love at first sight. It took us two days to decide whether we should allow ourselves to take the jump and fall in love.

We did take the jump and I can honestly say I had never had such feelings for a person. Same with him. Total trust. Total mutual fascination and desire. We do have our differences, but we “agree to disagree” on certain issues, eg he’s a converted christian and I can’t be bothered with any kind of religion whatsoever. My dearest wish is for us to get married so that he can inherit what little I have, but he staunchly refuses (being a Christian).

We see each other only 6 months a year, when I go to his place in the tropics over the autumn and winter (I live in France). So we spend the other 6 months away from each other – maybe that’s why our relationship has been so steadfast over so may years.

I don’t think I could have found such a person here in Europe. Vive la différence!”


  1. Joffrey

    Why not. This is your own recipe of love. I am happy for both of you. Love is lived in so many different way. That is what makes it so special.

  2. jem

    Wow! Mr Note from France! Your story is interesting, but very sad. Anyway, thanks for sharing. I really hope that your relationship with your man in Asia takes a step up and that you both find some greater fulfillment in this life, even though, for you, this half-year relationship seems to be working. I’m not sure that I could handle that.

    • Louis Petit

      Hello Jem,

      A “step up” for me would be marriage of course, so I can give the only person I love what little I own (I have no family to speak of). Otherwise we’re doing fine, although we’re miles apart half the time. Why do you think my story is sad ? We don’t – we consider ourselves very lucky, both of us. As we say in France, “we see our glass is half full rather than half empty”. Cheers !

      • jem

        Louis, I’m really happy for you that you find you can live apart and be thankful for what you have, but I would find that sad (and I speak from my own experience of having to do that). So it was sad to me though not to you or for you, which is good.

      • Louis Petit

        Yes, Jem, maybe age makes one more “philosophical”… Whatever it is, I consider myself infinitely lucky to have found this guy. He seems to be in my thoughts almost constantly (not obsessively though) and I love even that. Not being with him is not too bad as I’m no longer a sex maniac, if you see what I mean – but things are absolutely fine when we’re actually together. So in this particular case I consider my low level of testosterone is indeed a blessing of sorts.

      • jem

        I hear what you are saying, Louis, and I think it is so very good. Well done! I’m not unlike you – in the older bracket thing! Lol! But I do like companionship, and sharing, and being together, and some sex too! Lol! I had not considered marriage because of where I live, but it looks like I might be moving soon – by next year – to a place where it could be possible, and perhaps necessary, if my man is to come with me.

      • Louis Petit

        I love all the things you mention, Jem (who doesn’t) ; but as I positively cannot be with my man 100%, I make the best of what life allows us to have. When his previous lover went back home to Australia, they decided it was no use to love each other any more and broke off their relationship – just like that ! That’s not what I call love. At my age I feel I have to be grateful for whatever happiness is bestowed upon me. And I would feel even happier if we were to marry (it would have seemed ludicrous 20 years ago). Problem is – he converted to a strict sort of christianity. Loves me more he’s ever loved anyone though – he says… and proves it.

        I wish you and your man to get married if you can – and all the best !

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