Monthly Archives: April 2016

Richard and Carl, Educator and System Engineer, Cleveland, Ohio

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Richard, in his own words: “Being gay to me means being in touch with my own identity. I am not really into labels, but my gayness courses through every part of my body and every cell in my body so I feel it is a part of my true self, i.e. a child of God who happens to be gay.

The biggest challenge I have ever faced for being gay was when the superintendent of schools where I worked tried to fire me on trumped up charges. It was very devastating to see the kind of bigotry expressed to me all hidden behind obvious lies. Fortunately I prevailed because no one was going to destroy my reputation as a top notch educator. My biggest success I think is an on-going story for it is the spiritual journey of coming to know my true self and trying to live life from that center and not from the false self of ego.

The gay community in Cleveland is like that, I think, in my mid-west cities. It is very diverse from those being very out to those being very closeted. I have felt a tremendous support for a great variety of gay organizations over the past 25 years since I came out including, but not limited to: The LGBT Community Services Center, the North Coast Men’s Chorus, the AIDS Task Force of Greater Cleveland, GLSEN Cleveland, inclusive churches of several denominations.

My coming out story is that it took a long time to acknowledge the person I am even though I knew I was different from the time I was 5. After two marriages to women and three children, I could no longer live pretending to be someone I was not. I was having difficulty with my children, with my work, with my wife at the time, and had to do something. After several months of very good therapy, I came out and have been grateful for the support I have had all along the way. Both of my wives and my children (all now adults) have been incredibly supportive.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Seek out support and be yourself, not what someone else wants you to be and know that no matter what you are loved!”

Carl, in his own words: “Other than being special as my own person, being gay makes me more special. I believe it gives me a more open-minded view of the world and people. More tolerant, less judgmental, more accepting, more gentle,

One challenge I have had, is to fully and completely accept my gayness, Another was to deal with the guilt I felt about leaving my wife of 25 years, she is a wonderful person. I sometimes put myself down for being gay (sounds strange doesn’t it?) Successes are making many new friends, being less concerned about being myself, I was able to leave a toxic marriage.

Through my partner Rich, I have met many friends that are my age, and some younger ones. All of the men I have met are accepting, kind and generous.

I came out when I was 65. I had been living in the closet all my life. It caused me to hold myself back. Coming out finally removed a heavy burden from my back. I no longer had to pretend and hide. There is more to tell. I found love and acceptance that I never thought I could get.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Be yourself, take the risk. Don’t pretend to be something you aren’t. Love yourself. Accept yourself. There is only one you. Enjoy yourself.”

One Million Views.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Last night The Gay Men Project website finally reached one million views. Admittedly, compared to the popularity of other websites, this may not seem too noteworthy. But to me, it was an important personal milestone. When I started the Gay Men Project four years ago, I was at the lowest point in my life. A lot of the struggles and conflicts I had had as a young, closeted, gay man had started to resurface. But as an adult. And I was embarrassed. I didn’t understand why these feelings of shame, these feelings of being underserving of love, these feelings of wishing I wasn’t gay, were still being felt at the age of twenty-nine, while living in New York City, and after having lived the majority of my adult life as an openly gay man. One night, at my lowest, I found myself sitting alone on the roof of my six floor apartment building in Greenwich village, not quite sure of why I was up there. I realized I had entered a scary place. And so I reached out for help.

I sought out counseling at the Gay Men’s Health Clinic in New York City. I started reaching out to friends. Specifically, my gay male friends, asking them of their own experiences. And then I started doing what I love. I started photographing. I started photographing my gay male friends in New York City, and asking them to share their stories. And then I went to London to visit my good friend Melissa, and I photographed gay men there. And then I went to my hometown of Portland, and photographed gay men there. And then I went to eighty-seven cities across thirty-seven countries and photographed over seven hundred gay and queer men around the world.

I started the Gay Men Project for inherently selfish reasons. I needed to seek out these other individuals, and immerse myself in their stories, as a way to understand my own story. Every single person in the Gay Men Project I met firsthand. Every single person opened up their lives to me and shared a piece of themselves. Every single person made me feel less alone. It has always been my hope that the Gay Men Project can offer the same level of comfort to others that it has offered for me. And so from the bottom of my heart, to everyone who has participated in this work, and everyone who has supported it, thank you for helping me build what I hope can be a a source of light, from what was once a very dark place in my own life. You all have my gratitude and love. Thanks for the one million views.

Love, Kevin

JQr, Cleaning Guy/Ghost-writer/Fairy-tale Reader/Rentboy/Hacking Consultant/Dancer, Prague, Czech Republic

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

JQr, in his own words: “There are just 3 advices to my younger self and anyone who loves ups and downs of life: 1) Worry is a misuse of imagination. 2) Exception proves the rule. 3) Light don’t owe shade shit.”