Monthly Archives: January 2015

Jon and Lucas, Filmmaker and Graphic Designer, Buenos Aires, Argentina

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Jon, in his own words:.“Ser gay no significa nada mas que ser yo mismo, ser fiel a lo que siento sin importarme cuan solo me siento. Gracias a “Dios” o a las “Energias” no me senti solo nunca, familias y amigos me acompañan siempre.-

Tengo desafíos todo el tiempo, el pensar que nací para hacer algo y querer lograrlo es mi mayor desafío, quiero crear historias, hacer películas y que la gente las mire. Actualmente estoy en el proceso de mi primera película llamada EQUILÁTERO, donde pensé que nunca iba a encontrar gente que me apoye en el proyecto y acá estamos armandola sin ningún apoyo económico.

Exitos, mis cortos llamados ENLACES que co-dirigi con Lucas, mi novio sin ningun sustento económico, siempre me sorprenden, han estado en diferentes partes del mundo, como Chile, Ecuador, Colombia y Argentina por supuesto.
what’s your coming out story?

A la primera persona que se lo conté fue a mi mejor amigo, a los meses de venirme a estudiar (soy de Pehuajó, Provincia de Buenos Aires, y allá ser gay es dificil) descubri que algo me pasaba, que los chicos me gustaban y se lo conté a él, con culpa, lo gracioso es que él me respondio “Tranqui, yo tambien soy gay”. Despues vino mi mamá que lloro por dias pero ahora es muy “friendly” y me encanta. Cuando me visita trata a Lucas como un hijo más.

Buenos Aires es a veces muy friendly, justamente leí en Facebook que en los proximos días hay una manifestacion en un local de pizas porque a una pareja de lesbianas les prohibieron besarse al ser un comercio “familiar”, ellas comentaron los que les paso y la comunidad gay está dispuesta a hacer una besada, ir a local y besarse todos para visibilizarnos, lo gracioso es que tambien en días es la marcha del orgullo acá.
what advice would you give to your younger self?

Que no tenga miedo de nada, que sea más fuerte y que haga lo que le gusta hacer sin ningún freno.”

In English:

“Being gay does not mean anything but to be myself, to be true to what I feel no matter how lonely I feel. Thanks to “God” or “Energies” I do not feel alone anymore, families and friends are with me.

I was challenged all the time, thinking that I was born to do something and wanting to achieve this is my biggest challenge, wanting to create stories and make movies that people will watch. I am currently in the process of my first movie called EQUILATERAL, where I thought I was never going to find people who supported me in the project and here we are arming it without any financial support.

My shorts called LINKS which is co-headed by Lucas, my boyfriend, without any financial support, always surprises me, we have been in different parts of the world such as Chile, Ecuador, Colombia and Argentina of course.

The first person I (came out to) was my best friend, after months having been gone for study (I’m from Pehuajó, aa province of Buenos Aires, and there being gay is hard) he discovered something different with me, the guys that I liked and I told him, guilty, and the funny thing is that he told me “Calm down, I’m also gay”. Then came my mom and with that she cried for days but now she is very “friendly” and loves it. When I visit she treats Lucas like a son.

Buenos Aires is sometimes very friendly, I just read on Facebook that in the coming days there will be a demonstration at a local pizza shop because a lesbian couple was banned from kissing so the business could be a “family” trade, they commented on what happened to them and gay community is willing kiss, go home and kiss everyone to create visibility, the funny thing is that also these days the pride march is here.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Do not be afraid of anything, which is stronger and do what you want to do without restraint.”

Lucas, in his own words: “Ser gay es entender una parte de tu vida. Es comprender y amarse a uno mismo por sobre todo.

Se lo dije a mis amigos cuando terminé el colegio, pero el momento crucial fue cuando tuve que decirle a mis padres… fue la noche de fin de año, después de mucho descubrimiento personal, luego de esa nostalgia de las fiestas, se lo confesé a mi padre y luego a mi madre. Lo entendieron y lo respetaron. Y es ahí cuando empezamos a tener una relación mucha mas estrecha y amorosa. Empezamos a entendernos y a educarnos juntos.

La comunidad LGBTQ es un mundo hermoso. Es divertido, aburrido, desesperante. Es como todo un mundo junto y revuelto. Hay de todo, hay personas maravillosas y hay personas detestables. De todas maneras creo que es imporante estar todos juntos, reforzar todo lo que hemos ganado, y seguir luchando por el respeto.

No tengas miedo.”

In English:

“Being gay is to understand a part of your life. You understand and love yourself above all.

I told my friends when I finished school, but the turning point was when I had to tell my parents … it was the last night of the year, after much personal discovery, after the nostalgia of the holidays, I confessed to my father and then my mother. They understood and respected it. And that’s when we started to have a lot more closer and loving relationship. We began to understand and to educate together.

The LGBTQ community is a beautiful world. It’s fun, boring, frustrating. It’s like a whole world together and stirred. There is everything, there are wonderful people and there are obnoxious people. Anyway I think it is important to be together, reinforce all that we have gained, and continue to fight for respect.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Do not be afraid.”

Ron and Ben, Counselor and Guest Services Agent, Vancouver, B.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Ron, in his own words: “Being able to be who I am with complete honesty is freedom. Being able to love someone because I simply love that person is the greatest joy I have ever experienced. The journey mostly has been a good one. Since I have been quite attracted to both men and women, I’ve lived an interesting life and been in love with both men and women.

However, nothing ever quite was like meeting Ben. Before Ben I had fallen deeply in love with a woman, and I was married to her for almost 17 years, most of those years were happy. The greatest joy was having two beautiful, talented and creative sons, Nick and Nate who both have good and satisfying lives living and working in New York City. Thus I also have two beautiful grandchildren! Sadly, the marriage ended when my wife’s mental illness could not be accepted by her.

I dated some other wonderful and beautiful women for a few years. Then while working in Washington, DC I happened upon this younger man who wanted to go to dinner. His kindness, caring got to me and we dated for six months. Sadly it ended but we both ended up happy later. He said when he departed, “Ron, you will meet someone soon, he will be good to you and you to him.” Not long after, I was at Northeastern University in Boston in the dining room. There I noticed a beautiful and quite stunning Asian man glancing toward me. After we both glanced, we had lunch together, then he asked for a date. I returned to Boston where he and many members of his family were there. We went together! They all liked me. That was in July of 1997.

Sixteen years later, from Portland, Maine to Orlando FL, to our beautiful heaven in Vancouver, British Columbia , Ben and I have loved each other and respected one another every day. Every time I look at his face, the joy inside my heart almost makes me weep. Never to fade!

Too, My sons, grandchildren, friends all embrace Ben. They love him. Likewise I am so lucky that his family loves me very much and we are so close. They are my family, too. Our home is one of peace and love. We are a team!

Initially because I held many public and high profile jobs (Police Chief, School Administrator and now therapist/counsellor) many folks had much to say to me and sadly some behind my back when I fell in love with another man 16 years earlier. The state of gays in the world has changed a great deal from those days; now gay folks are accepted and few make a big deal about gay people in 2013. I was glad to be in the early days. I tell people, I would have fallen in love with Ben whether he had been a man or a woman. His qualities of giving of himself, his humility, core values, kindness and respect for all that lives are huge points of attraction. Being good looking is nice, but that fades for everyone. We all grow old. I am happy that Ben’s enduring qualities will never fade.

Moving to Vancouver was the best decision we could have made, suggested by his sister, Sungya, who had visited here. Every day has been a joy! Our gay friends we met when we first moved here are still are close friends. Vancouver’s gay population is well accepted. There are still those who hate, but overall, being gay here has not
been a big deal for many years. Gay men and women have straight friends, they live in houses and condos throughout the Metro area. There is a gay village, called Davie. It’s funky.

Where we live, New Westminster, has been turning into a sought after community (known as highly supportive to gays) for gay singles and couples. The community reminds me of communities I lived in as a kid in Maine. To sum, Ben said it best when we arrived here in July, 2005. “I finally feel so secure and happy.” Since then Ben and I both became dual citizens of our own birth country and Canada.

I am happy with who I am. During the Winter of my life, it really feels like Spring. It feels right.

This project and the stories that are told are good , supportive tools to help any gay man who is thinking about coming out. We live very short lives. The hope for all of us is to start living that life in a creative, meaningful way that is filled with comfortable love. Being honest, loving yourself and coming to terms with who you are signals the right time to sing to the world about who you are. Sing in quiet melody, shout a song to the mountains – your choice. But sing. When your soul says you are ready.”

Ben, in his own words: “I think I have always liked men from when I was little. I thought that I was the only one in this world having these kind of feelings. It’s liked having a big secret and I didn’t dare to share it to anyone. First feelings came when I was young and at summer camp in Singapore. I did not know
though what those feelings were.

I later had a boyfriend in Bangkok when I attended the university there. We did everything there, even opening a clothing store at an upscale mall. Sadly, we grew apart. I was sad and decided to move to the United States.

Soon I was off to graduate school in Boston. There I met many interesting men but none like Ron. I adored him from when I met him. So did my family.When I graduated with a Masters degree, I moved to Portland, Maine to be with Ron and his family. We lived in an ocean-side townhouse near a college. It was beautiful. I was so happy. Ron always had a committed plan and he was always kind to me. I worked as a math teacher at the high school where Ron was an administrator.

Soon we moved to Orlando with dreams of moving to beautiful Vancouver. Vancouver never disappointed. It is the most beautiful place with many friendly people. The moment we arrived, we had so many friends! Many of those friends are our friends today.

Ron and I were never much for clubbing or going out. We always enjoy each other company. He is my everything…my partner…my best friend and my soul. I think we complete each other!

Advice? Be true to who you are – only you can decide the road to your own happiness and joy. You control your destiny. You have that gift, that freedom.”

Nathan, Nurse, Singapore

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Nathan, in his own words: “Being gay to me means being human and being happy. I think the only thing that is different about ever being gay is that we love people from the same gender. But other than that we breathe and live just the same as anybody else.

Being gay is a process of life. You grow, you learn and you make your decisions. It ultimately means I am who I am and nothing in the world is ever going to change that.

When I was young I was always teased for being different. It came to a point where I started doubting myself and even concluded that I was an abomination. But over time when you get to meet people from various walks of life and of course upon coming out, I realized what a fool I have been. All those self-inflicting mental torture was not necessary.

I am also a nurse. I take pride in that now and look forward to assisting people as much as I can. I think one of my biggest achievements would be volunteering with The Purple Alliance in their health sectors. It’s because of such voluntary work that I have come to love what I do even more.

I believe I had to come out multiple times in my life. The first was when I was in polytechnic during my final year in nursing school. I used to get questions of whether I was dating a girl etc. I get very nervous when I lied but I still played along with my group of friends, until I realized whom am I kidding. So one day whilst waiting for the train ride back with my group of close friends I just blurted “I am gay”. What shocked me was their non-reaction. They were totally cool with it. We actually started being even closer after that.

My second time coming out was to some of my family. I just told the mom one day as she was asking if I had any girlfriends yet again. She started crying, but eventually she reassured me that she loves me no matter what. Well I guess that was what I was looking forward from her. As for the rest of my family I told and some took it well, some didn’t. But well! YOLO!

The gay community in Singapore is vibrant. You really get to meet many different kinds of people here. There may be some hate within the minority groups itself, but I believe with a little bit of love any form of boundary can be broken. There are many forms of stereotypes formed by the supposed main stream society in Singapore but I thing as a community we are breaking these stereotypes one by one. Who would have thought years ago that we would have our very own gay parade of sorts called Pink Dot. I think as a community, we allow each generation to grow thus making life a little bit welcoming and happier for the next generation.

I would definitely tell my (younger self) not to doubt myself and not to subject myself through whatever I did previously. I would definitely tell myself that it would get better each day and that everything will be alright. Life is too precious and beautiful to let negativity come in its way.”