A Note from Lance, in Toronto…

“Well, Peter and I met in September of 2007. I was living in Philadelphia, and had just ended a 9 year relationship and had signed up for an gay dating website. Peter was living in Germany, and had also signed up for the same site. One night, I came across his photo and profile in a chat room. From that moment I saw him, I was hooked. At the time, he has said that when he came across my profile/pic, he said I looked so sad, and that is why he clicked on my profile.

From the day we had met, every day after that, we chatted. This was before voice chat, as we were both using yahoo instant messenger. For hours and hours we chatted about anything and everything. One night, about a month later, I decided to make a voice recording and send to him. The first words he heard me say to him in this recording was “I love you”. I could see him as he listened to it, and he repeated it back to me ,though I could not hear it. We entered a new phase, now we were sending voice recordings to one another, telling about our lives; family, friends past relationships. Once we started using Skype, then the voice chats started, and one of the first times a little after a month had past, he asked me to marry him, and of course I said yes. For the next two months we continued to chat every day for hours.

In January of 2008, I had the opportunity to travel to Sweden for work, which was the first time I had been out of the country. We planned that he would fly from Germany to Copenhagen, then we would travel together from Copenhagen to Sweden. This would be the first time we saw each other in person. Oh, how I was so nervous! Here was this person I had fallen in love with over the internet, chatted with for hours and hours, who knew more about me than anyone in any previous relationship, and we were finally going to be together, live and in person! I landed in Copenhagen first after a very long 6 hour flight from Philly, and not a wink of sleep on the plane! I waited for his flight to land, which seemed like it was taking for ever! (BTW, this was the first time he had ever been on a plane.) I saw his flight had landed, and my stomach became full of very active butterflies. My eyes were fixated on those giant doors coming from the international arrivals..and I waited, and waited and waited. After what seemed like an eternity, he appeared. My heart sank. My eyes filled up with tears, and as he walked toward me, I could feel my love for him become more intense. Here he was, walking toward me. This person I had only met a few months before. This person I fell in love with without ever having touched, but yet knew everything about me.

As we embraced, all I said to him softly in his ear was, “I love you, I love you, I love you” over and over. Finally, we were together! We spent the next week in Sweden exploring not only the city we were in, but each other. It was the best week ever!

Over the next few months, we continued chatting and calling each other every day. I traveled for work, he traveled to the US, and I went to Germany. Finally we decided that after a year of long distance, it was time to live in the same time zone/country. It was either I move to Germany, or we move to Canada. It is difficult to get into the US and since gay marriage was not recognized federally, we could not live in the US together. We finally decided that Canada would be the best option, since gay marriage was legal everywhere in Canada had been since 2003, it was the first choice. So, quickly, I made arrangements to secure a position with my current employer, and in November of 2008, we both moved to Canada, and were married on December 15, 2008.

Now that DOMA was struck down, I can now sponsor Peter for a green card, which we have started this past September. The need to be closer to family has changed our direction and we are now on our way to the US. I have secured a position with my current company, and will be moving to Kansas City, Missouri in February. Peter will be in Canada still until his green card process is complete, so unfortunately, we will be separated until approx. July. Of course we will be traveling back and forth between the US and Canada until that time, but we are beginning a difficult phase of our relationship. After living together for the past 5+ years, we are now going to be back to long distance, but in the end, we will be closer to family who live in Idaho.

Moving to Missouri, is going to be an interesting experience, as gay marriage is not legal there, and being in the mid west, where conservativeness reigns, will be interesting as well. But, in the end, family has taken us to this place, and that is what is important.”

photo provided by Lance
photo provided by Lance

One comment

  1. Carrie

    You have such a strong bond of love for one another that this will simply be another chapter for your story. Family IS the most important thing in life so it will all be worth it. Love you both XO XO XO

Leave a Reply