Monthly Archives: January 2014

Noam and Daniel, Architects, Boston

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Noam and Daniel, in their own words: “Tel Aviv is quite a liberal place within a not-always-liberal country. It is a bubble, in many ways parallel to how NYC is viewed within the US.

Gays are an influential part of the society in Tel Aviv: in politics, in media and in culture. Before moving to Cambridge, we both worked full time as journalists in Ha’aretz Newspaper’s culture section, covering arts and architecture on a daily basis. We were one of the only couples there, and perhaps the only gay couple. Personally we can’t say being gay had any negative influence on how we were viewed, it never created any special challenges. We never hid our sexual orientation, quite the contrary.

Though we are pretty new in Boston / Cambridge, we can already say that it is very very different in terms of gay community when compared to Tel Aviv. First of all, Tel Aviv is smaller and everyone knows everyone. Then, of course, Israel is a Mediterranean country: it’s hot, temperamental, edgy, alive all year round and it’s extremely sexual. These things are different in Boston, which is way more introverted and quiet, more educated and calm, more homogeneous in its gay population. It seems sometimes that maybe because gay marriage and being gay has been OK here for a pretty long time, the character of the gay community here has become very institutional.

As for a coming out story. Both of us went to arts high schools and studied classical music (Daniel-piano, Noam- tuba). For our parents, our coming out was not such a big surprise in hindsight. There were phases of therapy in both cases, but today our parents are super accepting. And both parent-pairs are friends with each other too, which is great. They are our family and we think that they see we love each other, they see how we develop and flourish together, and they trust us that we’re OK and that they don’t need to be worried for us.”

A Note from Salvatore, in Buffalo…

“As a young 1st generation Italian-American in the ’80s growing up in the small community just north of the Adirondacks in New York I felt isolated not only because we didn’t have many other Italians in our community, but also as I grew older my loneliness and isolation became my suppression of myself as a gay man. I didn’t want to be gay and more importantly my fear was other people would find out. So I did what many people did, denied myself of who I was, kept quiet, remained a shy person, held in my emotions, and most importantly dated girls – or at least attempted to, but I wasn’t really good at it. Looking back I didn’t do these things intentionally knowing I was gay, I did them and acted this way because it’s all I knew how to be. I had a fear someone would know something about me that I didn’t know about myself. I’m not a feminine person and knowing I’m gay surprises many people, but the friends that really knew me as a teenager and as an adult; that really got to know me for me and knew my heart, soul, and mind – they knew I was gay before I knew. And when the time came for me to tell them I didn’t even have to say the words, they just said “I know! It’s ok, and I love you for trusting me and finally realizing who you are.”

My coming out was a difficult time as I’m sure it is for many gay youth. I was 18 years old and like many teens of the 90s, I started to explore the internet and went to chat rooms. In such a small community there was no gay youth center or gay groups in schools so I turned to the internet to explore this part of my life and my curiosity. I began chatting online with another gay Italian, the same age as myself. I felt relief finally not only in the fact that I had another Italian person to speak to, but most importantly another gay Italian – in those days I didn’t think gay existed, let alone gay Italians. He was going through what I was going through. We became great online friends for months and eventually met as he was only within an hours time in Montreal, Canada. Entrusting one another, and having started a friendship, over a few years we finally were able to admit to ourselves that we are gay, but just to each other. No one else could know. This was when my struggle with my family began as my mother eventually overheard us on the phone. She questioned everything I did until I finally had admitted it. Just saying the words “I’m gay” was like I had hit a brick wall. A brick wall of relief that I had taken down. I felt like the sun was shining upon me, birds were chirping, angels were singing, trumpets were playing – it was far from that – but I felt relief, like I had just been born. My heart pumped with joy and I felt a heavy burden was gone and I was no longer alone – even though I still at this time did not realize the extend of what there was out there for an LGBT community I knew who I was for the first time – and that in and of itself did not make me feel alone.

Eventually, after months of counseling with psychologists and priests, family arguments and disagreements, I decided to move across state to Buffalo, NY for college. My family and I began to get along better at a distance but my ‘dark secret’ was a burden to them, never spoken about to extended family, and when I visited home I couldn’t discuss my ‘gay lifestyle choice’, as my mother would call it. Soon, I began dating a guy, Steve, that I had met at a restaurant that we worked together in. We dated for four years before we moved in together. Even though my family knew about Steve, they never disrespected him in any way, they just did not discuss him. To them he was my roommate. The breaking point was when I told my mother Steve and I were going to be getting married. In the discussion I told her I had a new family, an accepting family that welcomed me, and that I wasn’t a humiliation to, and if Steve couldn’t be welcomed in her home I wasn’t welcomed either. It was then that my mother said to me that I was never a humiliation, she only feared what society would have done to me and how the world would have treated me. She’s never been more proud of me standing up for what I believe in and that I’ve become a stronger man that she’s never been more proud of. I guess our interpretation of how we view things, and how we believe others view things, will never change unless we speak up. Since then, Steve has been welcomed into my family’s homes and we celebrate holidays and events with each others families. We’ve been together 13 years now and since my struggle of coming out Steve has become my best friend, my companion, my heart and soul, the man I plan to grow old with and hopefully raise a family with someday.”

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Wu, Management Consultant, Paris

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong


photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Wu, in his own Mandarin words: “巴黎人喜欢用压着韵的儿语来形容日常的生活:métro, boulot, dodo,就是坐地铁,上班,睡觉。有人觉得是在抱怨生活的单调,在我看来更是一种对小日子的调侃。这是我印象中的巴黎人,一边享受着采菊东篱下悠然见南山,一边向往着铁马冰河入梦来。可以毫不吝啬的在花神咖啡馆呆一整个温暖的下午,手里却也是攥着一本《Liar’s Poker》津津有味。
不知不觉间,已经在这个城市度过了我生命中的7年。和这种城市的感觉已经是老夫老妻,没有当年第一次从Opéra地铁站出来看到金顶歌剧院的那份震撼,也没有当时从外省赶来面试,从6号线上偶尔回头看到巍然而立的埃菲尔铁塔时的那份惊喜。别人问我对这里的感觉,我大多数回答是熟悉。一个熟悉的城市,让我知道我饿了去哪里可以吃到正宗的川菜,让我知道哪家电影院座位宽大还不需要排队,让我知道哪一家理发店可以让我出门不会失望,让我知道哪一家酒吧的服务生笑起来很迷人。每次出门久了回来,都会发现这座城市愈发可爱。如果有一天我会离开巴黎,我想我会很难过。

但生命的概念就是这样的不是么?出生以及成长在中国东北的边陲,看惯了千里冰封万里雪飘,每天被冬装裹成小球的童年的我怎么也想不到现在的我会生活在9000公里之外每天人模狗样。心里一个声音告诉我这里只是驿站不是终点,我想我的旅程还没有结束。

人来人往,人去人留,好多朋友已经走到东南西北。也不知道那些花儿是不是都已经老了。心里一个画面却总是挥之不去而且愈来愈清晰,我和亲爱的你,小餐馆,临窗而坐,一瓶红酒,两个人儿,窗外刮风飘雪,窗内却只见你泛红的小脸。路人行色匆匆,你我享受其中。镜头拉远,这一幕的背景可以是巴黎,可以是纽约,但这重要么?