Monthly Archives: August 2013

My Mom and I in Vung Tau, Vietnam

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

I came out to my mom when I was 26, and then it was never talked about again for years. Literally not a word. Every so often, she would make a comment that maybe it was a phase, to which I would reply it wasn’t, and that’d be the extent of it. I always said my mom accepted it, but she’d never be the type to walk in a gay pride parade with me. Which was fine, it was just how it was.

Well, I think that changed in Vietnam, when she went with me to all the shoots I did for the Gay Men Project. Essentially she was my translator for all the Vietnamese men I photographed for the project and participated in all the conversations. Many of you have had that conversation with me, so you know what it’s like, and I didn’t filter anything just because my mom was there.

She recently sent me this email after seeing the blog for the first time (she just got internet at her house), and I wanted to share it, because no matter what happens with the project, whomever I’m able to reach, I now know I’ve reached at least one person–my mom. And really, that may be the most important.

P.S. mom, i will make a book, and i will share it with the world.

“Hey Kevin:
It’s good that you brought home pictures of your friends from Vietnam. Reading June’s storyremind me the time we were in Vietnam, and I was glad to see him in person when I read his story. He is an honest person, and his story was good to read. You should made a book of your Gay friends with their consensus, and publish it to share with the world.

If you have more of your Vietnamese friend’s story, I will translate for you. I think it’s fun since I don’t have a job now.

Love, take care. Mom”

I think everyone’s journey to acceptance (of anything in life) is a process, and it’s worth reading this story she wrote for me last year, regarding me being gay:

For My Son

Eric, Manager of Public Affairs, Montreal

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Eric, in his own words: “Being gay is one thing, accepting it is the other. Once this is done life is such much easier. One can wonder if there is a gay culture, but really there is so much diversity within our own LGBT community. In the end, being gay for me means to be truly who I am, like it or not.

At first the biggest challenge was to find gay people I could identify with. Over the years my sense of humor has surely help me stay away from trouble and get accepted where ever I am. In 2008, I ran for office and one of my objectives was to show others that you could be openly gay, have a career and be involved in politics. A bit like this project, a chance to put a face, and say that we exist and want to be around the table when important decisions are made in Parliament.

We are very lucky in Montreal to have a vibrant and diverse gay community. The village is a beacon and a starting point for many. However, gay people in this city are not ghettoized, we are everywhere and that is the beauty of it. I put anyone to the challenge of not liking Montreal, where Europe and North America meets.

(With regards to coming out) I was 22, and went to study abroad for a year. Mette my Danish friend helped me out with my coming out. When I came back home at Christmas I wanted to tell my parents. On my last night in town, we all went for dinner before my flight. I had promised my sister I was going to tell them then. The bill was on the table and I had yet to face reality, my sister kicked me under the table looking at me with her eyes wide open… I asked my parents if they had New Year’s resolutions, after they finished I told them about mine. I wanted to be successful with my studies, have a great career in Europe afterwards and be myself. My dad said: “these are not resolutions!” To which I replied: Well in order to be myself I need to tell you something… I am Gay”. Dead silence, but, it felt like a huge weight was off my shoulders. I was quick in letting everyone know that it was not their fault. The only choice I had to make was to accept or not, whom I truly was. It took me time to come to this conclusion and it was only fair to give them time to reflect on this. Overtime, they made me feel accepted and told me that really nothing much had changed.”