CK, in his own words: “I would like to share with you the story of how i came out of the closet…
I knew that i was attracted to guys long time ago; like, 5 years old. I did try to ‘feel’ aroused with girls, but well, it doesn’t work that way. As i was growing up in a conservative Asian country, basically i had no one to talk to about my sexuality. at least not until i came and lived in Australia.
I was 23 then, and was volunteering for a meditation retreat centre and living in a small community an hour away from Sydney. That day was 3rd September, my birthday. Each morning we would have the morning meditation and morning class. That day, i was leading the class. And the night before i told the centre co-ordinator i would come out in front of everyone. He agreed with my proposal. So after the morning class, i told them i had something that was important for me to tell; and it had been inside me for 20 over years which i don’t wish to hide it anymore. That’s how i told them: i am gay. Later we had meditation, and i had to exchange eye-contacts with everyone in the audience (there was like around 10 of us, altogether). I couldn’t help to have tears in my eyes as i could feel sympathy and support from those EYES.
Three years later, when i decided to come to Europe to meet my present partner, i was at my elder sister’s house in Penang, northern Malaysia. We were talking and she knew that i would leave Malaysia again to travel to somewhere else, and she started to accuse me of being irresponsible toward my parents’ wellfare. Of course she knew that i was gay, and she roughly knew what my purpose was, to Europe. Facing the accusation from my closest family, i told her that: when i was in Australia, all my friends were very supportive to me, no matter who i am and what i have done; and being my family, why can’t you act like my real family and show a little bit of support? Am i not your only brother?
(She started to have tears in her eyes, and she asked me not to say anything anymore because she couldn’t take it anymore — deep down, i think that she knows, i was telling the truth and yes, sometimes truth hurts. But if i don’t tell it, she never knows how i feel…..)
I still feel i am one of the luckiest persons in the world, as i have many friends that support me. And my coming-out story is one without harsh effort. When you have enough courage, i believe, then helps will come.”
Eirik, in his own Norwegian words: “Jeg tenker sjelden på hva det betyr å være homo; jeg lever stort sett som alle andre. Men det er klart at det betyr at jeg er annerledes, og at jeg derfor nok får et annet (og korrigerende) perspektiv på livet. Det som skiller meg er kanskje mer at jeg ikke har barn og derfor kan leve livet mer som jeg vil – og finne på spennende ting som å flytte til Paris for en periode og å reise rundt verden som turist. Men da må det legges til at mange hetero’er har ikke barn – og noen homo’er har barn.
Jeg er så heldig å leve i en tid og en verdensdel hvor det å det er enkelt å være homo, så jeg har egentlig ikke møtt vanskelige utfordringer. Men det blir dessverre lett til at man legger restriksjoner på seg selv når det gjelder å snakke om livet sitt og partneren til kollegaer og andre. Men det ville jo ikke vært noe problem å gjøre det, så det er mitt eget problem…
Siden jeg bare har bodd i Paris et par måneder, er det for tidlig å si noe om homolivet her. Men der som er sikkert er et miljøet er stort og det foregår mye her… så mye skal nok oppdages de årene jeg skal bo her;-)
Når det gjelder coming out, har jeg ikke noen spennende historie å fortelle… jeg kom ikke ut før jeg var vel voksen… er nok ennå alt for diskret så alle har nok ikke forstått.